Manifestings for the soul

15/09/2022

What are you carrying that you are not responsible for??

Look at the page - I purposefully left lots of blank space because we tend to fill all the space with being busy, problems to solve, things to get done.

How much of the things ypu carry, worry about, feel compelled to fix are you actually responsible for?
What would happen if you let some of it go?

It you took a breath and let other people be responsible for -
Their choices and the consequences of those choices.
Their roles in the home.
Their relationships with others.

Just breathe, look at the things in your life, hold each in your mind - Are you responsible for it?
Is it necessary?
Does it bring you joy?

Love and Blessings 💜🌻✨

05/09/2022

05/09/2022

Just a few things as don't want to overwhelm -

It's important to -

1. Know the signs of when you are heading for crisis / burnout -

and most of the time you already do! If you know the signs and you are starting to struggle and 'burn out' think about what has helped previously if you have struggled before -
Do you have a care / crisis plan for if you hit crisis again?
I can help you work on one - or ask your phychologist / counsellor to do one with you.

2. Know your limits - Pace yourself

- Do you know how much you can physically and mentally cope with in a day?
Plan accordingly - I have chronic pain now so I have to 'pace' myself and plan what I'm doing - if I do this well I function ok but if I push myself past my limits then I have to spend days in bed recovering (which loses me time).
If you know you can only handle 2 appointments a day - 1 before lunch and 1 in the afternoon and you need 2 days out of 7 to rest - try to stick to it (just an example).

3. Self care -
self care and self care - this looks different for everyone but what are the things that bring you Joy? Peace? Rest? Relaxation?
Do them -
Journalling
Art
Meditation
Mindfulness practices
Walks in nature
Exercise
Rest - naps, pacing
Connecting with others
Cooking
Hobbies
Creating order in your space
Prayer
Self care isn't always bubble baths and candles (for me it's a big part of it) it can be finishing off a job that you've been putting off - but do what you need 😊

- Your self care, rest time and mental health has to be a priority.

Australia support services
Lifeline 13 11 14 (24/7 support)
Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636
Su***de call back service
1300 659 467 (24/7 support)
Headspace (age 12 - 25)

Love and Blessings 💜🌻✨

05/09/2022

Where are you -
Are you thriving, just surviving or in crisis?
Do you have a support network?
Do you have a plan if things start to head into the orange and red zones?

Crisis plans can be really useful as we can think about our needs and plan it when we are in a good head space - but once in crisis it can be to hard to think what you need or what needs to happen.

If you want help with a plan it is something a counsellor or phychologist can support you in.

As a counsellor it is a useful tool to help people to know where they may have gaps if they have a crisis and need extra support - it can give you security and calm, peace that there is a plan in place if needed for your life.



Love and Blessings 💜🌻✨

17/04/2022

🐰
Happy Easter everyone, hope it was restful and full of joy
🐰

17/04/2022

WHEN SHOULD WE SET A BOUNDARY?
Boundaries are important for all of us in our relationships with our partner/s, children, friends, colleagues. They will look different in each relationship but they will be there in some form or another.

At different times you may realise that you need to set or reset boundaries.
- if you feel unappreciated, uncared for, unheard.
- if you are meeting someone else's needs but none of yours are being met.
- if you feel taken advantage of.
- when time with someone drains your energy.
- when you daydream about a different life, job, partner.
- if you feel scared, or it's to hard to set a boundary.
- when you feel resentful or used about interactions with someone.

HOW DO YOU SET A BOUNDARY?
This can be hard for many people and for many reasons. You many be timid and shy, have a background of trauma, have never felt free to express your needs.
Sometimes it may not be safe to set a boundary due to being in an abusive situation such as domestic violence, addictions. Find support for these situations - do not put yourself in a dangerous situation without support.

Here are some ways to set a boundary.
- know your boundaries, have a list - have someone who keeps you accountable.
- try to create a boundary as soon as needed, don't ignore your feelings.
- learn how to communicate, use "I" statements.
- be aware of your feelings - and what causes them.
- read some books, posts, blogs on boundaries.
- if this is something that you need support with, see a counsellor.

We can learn to be better at this at any time in our lives. We all deserve to have our boundaries respected and valued.

Love and Blessings 💜 🌻 ✨

12/04/2022

12/04/2022

12/04/2022

A story-

I’m not certain about much these days, but I do know this:

When there is extra buttermilk, you make cornbread. And I had just enough to make two pans.

When the pans came out of the oven, I covered one with a dishcloth, and set it inside a paper bag with handles. I grabbed an unopened container of honey, along with a sympathy card I’d been meaning to send.

‘No meal? That’s it?’ I thought to myself, looking at the ready-to-be-delivered offering sitting on my kitchen counter.

It seemed inadequate for my grieving friend—at least that’s what the Recovering Overachiever in me said.

In the past, I would’ve let that demanding voice talk me into going over the top, which would likely lead right into doing nothing.

“Go big or go home” – isn’t that the saying ingrained at an early age?

Lie

Lie

Lie

“Go small and show up.”

That’s truth right there.

Go small and show up.

That’s how we move through life, ensuring we give ourselves space to breathe and fuel to try.

"Go small and show up."

That’s what I repeated to myself as I carried the warm bag out to the car. My husband, who was organizing the garage, offered to drive me to my friend’s house.

As the car bounced and the radio played, I wrote a thoughtful note inside the card.

After depositing the treat with a hug and some real talk, I got a message from my friend, confirming my self-sabotaging, overachieving days are dwindling…

She’d been curled up on the couch, expressing to her beloved how utterly exhausted she was when I knocked on the door.

They’d wasted no time drizzling a slice with honey, to which her husband declared was ‘effing good’ cornbread.

She said the treat made her feel loved, spoiled, and a little less exhausted.

She highlighted a line I’d written in her card, calling it a “pen drop” instead of a mic drop.

“Go small and show up.”

That’s truth right there.

Because a little honey goes a long way.

© Rachel Macy Stafford 2022

Small efforts matter. Your presence is often more than enough. Every little step we make matters.