11/10/2024
To be honest this year has been the most intense year for me in many ways. Maybe you’ve noticed I’ve pulled back from working 1:1, throughout this year I just haven’t had the capacity to hold physical space.
The playing out of the masculine ~ feminine polarities in the world have caused me to remember a lot of my own life, a lot of stuff relating to this imbalance that was repressed and held in my body. I’m so grateful to have a life long understanding of the energetics of this.. so I can work through these beliefs and no longer need to see them played out over and over in my own life through abusive behaviours and heartbreak 💔
📸 That little white baby is me! We were living in Zimbabwe. When we got back to the Netherlands, My father lived ten minutes away from where I went to high school but I never saw him after the age of 5. I see now that he didn’t feel worthy of having children, did not feel good enough and was in a way embarrassed. Because of these silly emotions he let the chance slip to raise his three beautiful daughters.
The patriarchal paradigm is very subtle, nuanced, much like the many “narcissists” I have met over the years, charming on the outside and able to make u believe the worst of yourself whilst still making u believe them 🤔
The reason it catches hold is because of experiences like mine.. where a child learns very early that it is unworthy of love, due to the painful imbalance we created for the parents and their parents ~~~~ all of whom believe they need to be something other than they are.
I don’t blame any of the individuals I meet that have these collective qualities and express them into their reality and relations, as I can see everyone is a collection of their experiences ~ hence however - we are all responsible for each other.
And we are responsible for being responsible for our own actions .. going within and cleaning up any limiting beliefs that came from our “ancestors” (aka the rest of the world).
I am telling a very small snippet of my story … hoping it will resonate and u can allow yourself to find Stillness ~ next time you feel something in your body that closes your heart.
For the sake of every body ❤️