20/05/2026
When children ask me to be mean to them in Play Therapy, 80% of the time I say yes. And of course, there’s nuance to everything we do in the playroom.
Our adult instinct might be to stop it, say ‘but that’s not nice’, ‘how about a nice sister/customer/mother?’ Etc. but then I wouldn’t be entering into the child’s world, would I?
In Play Therapy, we see these moments as so much more.
There are boundaries I uphold. I won’t call the child derogatory names but I may put those names onto an object or doll.
I won’t do anything that is harmful or is unsafe to the child or myself but I may ask them to show me or direct it to the puppets or a blow up bag to knock around.
There is always attunement.
There is safety and containment where each child can explore, express and begin to make sense of their experience.
Underneath it all, I see their need for safety, control and autonomy. To understand. To feel bigger than what kept them scared and small.
It’s important they have a safe space where we can show them that we can manage their feelings big and small. That the experiences they went through are not too hard or confronting for me.
Children don’t need us to remove the hard things from their play.
They need us to make it safe enough to move through them.
Is this what you expected? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
