Edmonton Family Medical Centre

13/08/2026

As you all know, Boss Lady Kerry is a bit of a Design Queen. 👑

And apparently she’s been looking at the waiting room and thinking, “Hmmmm….” 😂

So, plans are being hatched. Colours are being debated. Walls are being stared at. Furniture may be shuffled around approximately 47 times before being put back where it started.

Naturally, the rest of us are fully supportive and willing to help — provided there are cold beverages, snacks and absolutely no expectation that we know how to use power tools. 🍹🔨

But here’s the thing…

We’ve heard your feedback. 👀
You’re the ones who actually sit in our waiting room, so we want to know what YOU think.

More colour?
More greenery? 🌿
A bit more modern?
More comfy?
Less “doctor’s waiting room” and more “ooooh, this is nice”?
A margarita bar? (Apparently this one has been rejected on several regulatory grounds.)

Kerry’s tossing around a few ideas and, against our better judgement, we’re opening this up to the internet. 😂
(And yes… she does not know we’re doing this. Please act natural! 👀)

Be kind. Remember, the Design Queen is watching. 👑😂

12/08/2026

Somewhere on the internet today, science packed up its desk, turned off the lights and went home. 😂

“Infertility is genetic. If your parents couldn’t have kids, you also won’t.”

And then, from the cheap seats:

“Your dealer’s number please.” 💀😂

We have absolutely no clinical comment to make at this time.

Mostly because the reception team is still on the floor.

The internet remains undefeated. 🤣

EFMC — providing healthcare, not explaining how Darnell got here.

10/08/2026

WELL… THIS IS AWKWARD. 😂

Someone has nominated Edmonton Family Medical Centre for the Marketing & Communications Excellence Award in the 2026 Cairns Chamber of Commerce Business Excellence Awards.

Yes. FOR OUR FACEBOOK PAGE. 😳😂

We don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or immediately delete several years’ worth of evidence. Apparently years of:

👉 publicly tormenting our doctors
👉 taking the p**s out of Medicare
👉 photographing questionable staff behaviour
👉 photographing Doug, our skeleton, passed out in the toilet after State of Origin in compromising lacy underwear
👉 posting things that probably should have required management approval
👉 and generally carrying on like a medical centre with absolutely no adult supervision…

…is now called MARKETING EXCELLENCE.

WHO KNEW?! 😂 We genuinely thought we were just amusing ourselves and occasionally reminding people to get their flu shot.

Apparently we’ve had a marketing strategy this whole time.

😂😂😂 But now things have become alarmingly serious.

Because to continue through the awards process, we have to submit an actual application.

With proper questions. About things like strategy, objectives, engagement, innovation, outcomes and measurable success.

So basically, we now have to take several years of ridiculous posts, questionable medical humour, staff harassment, skeletons, memes, rogue kitchen knives, Medicare meltdowns and general carry-on and convince a judging panel that… we were not just entertaining ourselves.

WE MEANT TO DO ALL OF THIS.

“Yes, Judge, repeatedly humiliating the doctors was integral to strengthening brand awareness.”

😂😂😂

In all seriousness we are super chuffed.

Our page has always been about having a laugh with you.

So to the mysterious person who nominated us…

THANK YOU. ❤️

We are genuinely touched (and slightly horrified).

But also ... WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! 😂

Right.

Better go write about our “strategic marketing objectives.”

06/08/2026

The ladies in the office have looked at this photo for exactly 0.3 seconds and unanimously declared:

"Only a man would do this." 🤦‍♀️

Let's review the evidence: 🔪 Knife standing upright like Excalibur. 🍴 Cutlery dumped in the sink like it lost a fight. 🧽 Sponge on annual leave. ☕ Mug hanging on for dear life.

Somewhere, a bloke is proudly saying: "I stacked it so it'd dry."

Mate... you've stacked a game of Final Destination.

Ladies ... are we right? Gentlemen ... defend yourselves. We're listening ... but we're judging. 😂

👇 Settle the argument once and for all. Is this a bloke thing, or are the girls throwing you under the bus? 🍿

21/07/2026

💼If doctors told the truth, their business cards might look a little different... 😆

At EFMC, we reckon they'd read something like this ...

🩺 Professional Finder of Things You Googled at 2am.

✍️ Fluent in Doctor Handwriting (even when it's my own).

🌞 Saving Queenslanders from the sun they insisted "wasn't that bad."

🤔 Asking "How long has that been there?" and secretly hoping the answer isn't "About 10 years..."

💉 Professional Provider of '"I'm going to say 'just a little sting' and we're both going to pretend it's true."

❤️ Keeping people healthy... despite their best efforts.

Lucky for you, our doctors are a little more qualified than their imaginary business cards suggest. 😉 They're also pretty good at the whole medicine thing.

💬 If your doctor had an honest business card, what would it say?

⬇️ We know you've got some crackers...

18/07/2026

We've done some very serious medical research*...
(*By asking everyone at reception. 😄)
Which chocolate myth do you secretly believe?
🍫 Myth #1
MYTH: Chocolate causes amnesia.
FACT: What was the question again? 🤔🍫

🍫 Myth #2
MYTH: Eating chocolate before dinner ruins your appetite.
FACT: It just makes room for more chocolate after dinner.

🍫 Myth #3
MYTH: Chocolate doesn't count if you eat it standing in the kitchen.
FACT: We'd like to see the research on that too. 😏

🍫 Myth #4
MYTH: A family block is designed to be shared.
FACT: That's a very optimistic marketing strategy.

🍫 Myth #5
MYTH: Dark chocolate is basically a salad.
FACT: Nice try. 😂

🍫 Myth #6
MYTH: Hidden chocolate has no calories.
FACT: Especially if nobody sees you eat it.

🍫 Myth #7
MYTH: Chocolate can solve all your problems.
FACT: Not all of them... but it certainly makes some of them feel smaller.

🍫 Myth #8
MYTH: You only need one square.
FACT: Whoever wrote that has never opened a block.

🍫 Myth #9
MYTH: The first bite is the best.
FACT: The last bite is the one you're already regretting won't last.

🍫 Myth #10
MYTH: If you break a Tim Tam in half, you've had two biscuits.
FACT: That's called "creative accounting."

17/07/2026

16/07/2026

🎡 Cairns Show Holiday? We've still got you covered! 🎡
While everyone else is off enjoying the rides, showbags and fairy floss, we're still here if you need us!
🩺 Edmonton Family Medical Centre is OPEN until 12:00 pm today.

Can't make it in? No worries! 📞 We're also offering phone consultations for eligible appointments.
Have a fun and safe Show Day, and remember... if the show food wins the battle, we're here to help! 😉🎠

16/07/2026

Today is Amber's last day on reception at EFMC! 💙 (the toughest job in Far North Queensland!)

After surviving thousands of phone calls, answering the same question approximately 47,286 times ("Am I late if I'm only 20 minutes late?"), finding lost Medicare cards, calming stressed patients, and somehow keeping us all organised... Amber has decided it's time for her next adventure.

We're not saying she's leaving because of us... but we're also not saying she isn't. 😜

Amber, you've been an absolute superstar. Your kindness, patience, quick wit and infectious smile have made our practice a happier place for patients and staff alike. You've laughed with us, survived the crazy days with us, and become a much-loved part of our EFMC family.

We are going to miss you more than the coffee machine on a Monday morning... and that's saying something.

Thank you for everything you've done. We couldn't be prouder of you as you head off to chase new opportunities, and we know you'll be amazing wherever you go.

From all of us at EFMC... we love you, we're going to miss you, and remember—our door is always open (although you'll probably still have to check in at reception 😉).

Please join us in wishing Amber all the very best for whatever comes next. 💙

P.S. If you hear us crying today... we're just blaming the pollen. 🥹😂

14/07/2026

Heads up, Cairns — it’s showtime! 🎡🎉

The Cairns Show starts today and EFMC is riding the fun train straight to the main arena. Expect cheeky smiles, great local grub and plenty of familiar faces — we’ll be there soaking up the atmosphere, cheering on the action and enjoying everything our community has to offer.

Come say hi if you spot us! Whether you’re here for the rides, the ribbons, or the showbags, we’re keen to hear your stories (especially the good ones — we love a classic local yarn).

See you under the show lights — let’s make it a cracking day, Cairns! 🎪✨

(PS — don’t forget sunscreen and a showbag for dessert.)