Tamar Sloan Psychologist

Tamar Sloan Psychologist Helping parents find calm in the chaos. You’re not alone. Let’s walk this road together. www.linktr.ee/relationalparenting
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11/08/2026

Why does a child sometimes escalate when a parent begins holding a boundary?
Because when a strategy has worked before, they will usually try it harder before giving it up.
If pressing the button twenty times eventually produces the “gummy bear,” the child learns that persistence and escalation still work.
This does not mean ignoring distress or unsafe behaviour. It means recognising that an increase in behaviour can be part of changing an established pattern.

10/08/2026

Aggression can end conversations and get demands met, but it often leads to silence from parents who are exhausted, frightened, or trying to de-escalate. Responding in the moment isn't always the answer.

10/08/2026

When a child says, “All my friends are online,” listen before you limit.
Online connection can be real and important. The goal is not to dismiss it, but to balance it with sleep, health, school and life beyond the screen.

09/08/2026

In a courtroom, arguments fuel escalation. For kids, as long as the conversation continues, they believe the boundary can move. Stop explaining, defending, or threatening. A boundary is often best when short: 'I hear you. The answer is still no. We'll talk when we're calm.' Then, stop adding fuel.

09/08/2026

Device transitions can be genuinely hard, particularly for children who struggle with attention shifts or emotional regulation.
Prepare the transition, use predictable warnings and validate the difficulty. Then hold the boundary so escalation does not become the way extra time is gained.

08/08/2026

We needed to move away from parenting based on fear, shame, and unquestioned adult authority.
But giving children a voice does not mean their voice becomes a veto over every limit, expectation, or family need.
Children need to know that they matter. They also need our help learning that other people matter, difficult things cannot always be avoided, and big feelings do not justify harmful behaviour.
The parenting revolution is not about adults controlling children or children controlling families.
It is about voice, guidance, connection, and balance.

07/08/2026

Why does a child sometimes escalate when a parent begins holding a boundary?
Because when a strategy has worked before, they will usually try it harder before giving it up.
If pressing the button twenty times eventually produces the “gummy bear,” the child learns that persistence and escalation still work.
This does not mean ignoring distress or unsafe behaviour. It means recognising that an increase in behaviour can be part of changing an established pattern.

05/08/2026

Children deserve a voice in device rules, but they should not carry full responsibility for managing technology designed to keep them engaged.
Listen, collaborate and explain. Then be willing to hold the limits that protect sleep, health, learning and family life.

04/08/2026

Important ideas rarely take hold after one conversation.
Teaching a child that big feelings are okay, but hurting others is not, takes repeated exposure. Small comments, real-life examples, noticing progress, and calmly returning to the same message all help plant the seed.
Some seeds will not appear to germinate straight away. Keep planting.

03/08/2026

Device transitions can be genuinely hard, particularly for children who struggle with attention shifts or emotional regulation.
Prepare the transition, use predictable warnings and validate the difficulty. Then hold the boundary so escalation does not become the way extra time is gained.

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