Mental Health Counselling Geelong

14/08/2026

Sometimes rejection affects more than the relationship. It can reinforce beliefs about ourselves that were there long before it.

This can make changing the other person's mind feel really important, because their response has become connected to how we feel about ourselves.

In this week's Inside the Therapy Room, I talk about why this can happen and what we might start exploring in therapy.

12/08/2026

Why can someone else's response affect how we see ourselves?

Our understanding of ourselves develops through relationships from a very young age.

If acceptance, attention or connection felt uncertain, we can learn to pay close attention to how other people respond to us. Their response can start to influence what we believe about ourselves.

This can continue into adult relationships.

Rejection may then feel like confirmation that we aren't good enough, while approval can temporarily make us feel better about ourselves.

Over time, we can start relying on other people's responses to tell us how we should feel about ourselves.

Part of therapy can involve recognising where those beliefs came from and separating another person's feelings about us from what we believe about ourselves.

11/08/2026

Website update

Our website is now back up and running, and the security certificate issue has been fully resolved.

You can safely access the website as usual to learn more about our services, explore our resources or book an appointment.

Thank you for your patience while I worked through the issue.

www.mentalhealthcg.com

10/08/2026

Direct appointment bookings

Face-to-face appointments:
https://www.halaxy.com/book/mental-health-counselling-geelong/location/437221

Online appointments (telehealth):
https://www.halaxy.com/book/online-consultation-telehealth/location/1346505

Our website is temporarily displaying a security certificate warning. Please use the direct Halaxy links above until the issue has been resolved.

09/08/2026

Myth: If I can change how they feel about me, I'll feel differently about myself.

When someone's response to us becomes tied to our self-worth, rejection can feel like more than the loss of a relationship. It can start to feel like evidence that there is something wrong with us.

This can lead to becoming focused on changing the other person's response in the hope that it will change how we feel about ourselves.

Even when we get the reassurance or response we were looking for, the underlying belief about ourselves can still be there.

During therapy, the work is understanding why someone else's response came to have so much influence over how we see ourselves.

07/08/2026

05/08/2026

One of the biggest shifts I see in therapy isn't that people suddenly become more confident.

It's that they start asking a different question.

Early on, many people ask,

"How do I stop them from leaving?"

"What do I need to change?"

"How can I make this work?"

The focus is on keeping the relationship.

Over time, that question often changes.

People start asking,

"Is this relationship actually right for me?"

"Does this relationship allow me to be myself?"

"Is this what I want?"

It's a subtle shift.

The relationship hasn't necessarily changed.

The person's relationship with themselves has.

30/07/2026

We often think helping means finding the right words or the right solution.

Sometimes helping begins with slowing down long enough to understand another person's experience before trying to change it.

Understanding doesn't require agreement. It requires curiosity.

What are your thoughts?

29/07/2026

One of the most common things I hear from clients isn't, "I wish someone had fixed it."

It's:

"I just wanted someone to understand."

When we feel misunderstood, we often explain ourselves more, become defensive, withdraw, or eventually stop sharing altogether.

Feeling understood doesn't mean someone agrees with every thought or feeling you have.

It means they are genuinely trying to understand your experience from your perspective.

That experience can have a powerful effect on the nervous system. When people feel heard rather than judged or dismissed, they often feel safer. From that place of safety, it's easier to think clearly, regulate emotions, solve problems and connect with others.

Whether it's in therapy, friendships, family relationships or romantic relationships, understanding is often what creates the conditions for change.

Sometimes people don't need better advice.

They need to feel less alone in what they're experiencing.

27/07/2026

Myth

If someone really cared about me, they would know what I need.

Reality

Healthy relationships aren't built on mind reading.

They're built on curiosity, communication and the willingness to understand each other.

Learning to express your needs doesn't mean they matter less.