09/09/2026
Ahead of R U OK? Day tomorrow, our EAP Counsellor, Stacey Mossman (Brave Minds Counselling), shared a powerful perspective with us on what this day is really about:
"Are you OK?" isn't really a question. It's a signal.
Tomorrow is R U OK? Day, and if I'm honest, most of us answer that question the same way every time – "yeah, good, you?" – without much thought. So it's worth asking what the question is actually for.
As a counsellor, I don't think the words themselves are the point. What lands is what sits underneath them: I've noticed you. You're on my radar.
We are built for connection – our nervous systems settle in the presence of someone who feels safe, and we will stay on edge when we feel unseen.
Loneliness isn't the same as being alone.
It's the sense that you could be struggling and nobody would notice. So "are you OK?" does its work even when the answer is "fine", because it tells the other person that if the answer were ever different, there is somewhere to take it.
That's the wider issue this day points to – not one conversation, but whether the people around us feel noticed at all.
If someone does say "actually, not really", you don't need to fix anything. Most people aren't looking for a solution; they're looking to not be alone with it.
Listen more than you talk.
"What's been the hardest part?" and "I'm glad you told me" go a long way. Resist the urge to rush in with reassurance or advice – being heard is often what shifts things. Check back in a few days later. In my experience the second conversation matters as much as the first, because it shows the first one wasn't a one-off. If what they share feels bigger than you can hold, that isn't a failure – that's exactly when a GP, Counsellor, Psychologist or support line comes in, and you can help them get there.
One more thing. If you're the one who isn't OK right now, answering honestly counts too. You're allowed to say so on any day, not just this one. That's the heart of this year's message – ask R U OK? any day – because life doesn't wait for September.
If you or someone you know needs support now, Lifeline is available 24/7 on 13 11 14, or 13YARN (13 92 76). In an emergency, call 000.
Stacey Mossman,
BraveMinds Counselling
