Eco Nature Therapy

11/03/2025

DISCIPLINE
Is prioritising the needs of your future self, over the needs of yourself right now

09/03/2025

A NOTE ON GENDER DIFFERENCES IN COMMUNICATION & CONFLICT RESOLUTION

It is generally thought that males and females differ in their overall style of communication (Strong & Cohen, 2017). This is because communication styles develop from childhood onwards and boys and girls learn to communicate differently through social interactions and by observing their environment. Strong and Cohen (2017) reviewed research on gender differences in communication in Western society and found a number of key differences. These are outlined in the table below:

FEMALE COMMUNICATION STYLES

-Messages are clearer, more sensitive and responsive; respond to compliments and criticisms.

-Communicate more positive and negative messages; use non-verbal language to give meaning to the messages.

-Emotion plays a more significant role in conflicts; they can escalate an argument through use of negative messages; they can de-escalate an argument through messages of understanding or acceptance; they seek acknowledgement of their emotions.

MALE COMMUNICATION STYLES

-May not reply at all to either positive or negative messages

-Use more neutral responses (e.g., “either will do”; “whatever”) which can cause confusion, conflict, misunderstanding.

-Tend to use reasoning to appease, or bring an end to the conflict

There are two things to note about such differences between female and male styles of both verbal and nonverbal communication. The more male style fits with positions of dominance, whereas the more female style is often found among people in subordinate positions. At the same time, women’s style of communicating is characterised more by cooperation and consensus seeking; thus, it is also situationally appropriate and advantageous to relationship building and maintenance.”

Gender differences are also identified in how men and women approach and manage conflict. Strong and Cohen (2017) highlight that women are more likely to make the first move in conflict resolution (for example, initiating a discussion about the conflict or suggesting counselling to help resolve the issues). On the contrary, men are more likely to withdraw from these negative interactions, blow off steam, and may come back just as caring as they were before the argument. As women are more emotionally expressive and prefer to ‘talk things through’, they can misinterpret men’s withdrawal as ignorance of the problem and feel confused as to how their male partners are able to bounce back so quickly after a heated disagreement. In comparison, men generally are more concerned with tasks and outcomes, instead of emotional expression, in the course of conflict resolution. They generally want a quick solution and are more prepared to discuss the tasks or steps to reach a resolution. Lack of understanding in each other’s conflict resolution styles can often lead to misunderstandings and escalated conflict in couples.

09/03/2025

DIFFERING CONFLICT RESOLUTION STYLES

It is thought that the manner in which people resolve conflict (their conflict resolution style) is related to the styles displayed by their parents in their families of origin (Strong & Cohen, 2017). This is because children often learn to resolve conflict by the example set by their parents. Weiten, Dunn and Hammer (2014) explain five main ways that an individual may respond to conflict:

1. Withdrawing/avoiding.
Withdrawing or avoiding conflict will present in avarietyof ways. For example, a partner may pretend they didn’t hear a comment or question, or they may change the subject. Alternatively, they may use humour to respond in an attempt to minimise the conflict, refuse to take a position during discussions, or they may simply walk away from potential arguments. Individuals with a withdraw/avoid conflict resolution style are uncomfortable with conflict. By withdrawing, avoiding, or ignoring conflictual communication they are trying to terminate the conflict. If this behaviour is accepted by their partner, the conflict will not be resolved and the existing behaviours and problems will be reinforced. A partner engaging in withdrawal is considered to have low concern for themselves and their partner.

2. Accommodating.
In accommodating, the partner prefers to hasten the end of the conflict. They choose to obligingly comply with their partner’s remarks. Accommodating may appear as a partner responding with short statements, such as “Yes, that’s right” or some other action designed to soothe the other person. Through accommodating and bringing a hasty end to the conflict, they are avoiding their feelings and simply surrendering. They may feel they will not measure up or they may have become accustomed to playing the role of a martyr. In contrast to the withdrawal style of conflict resolution, accommodating indicates low concern for self and high concern for others.

3. Forcing/competing.
This is a win/lose conflict resolution style. This partner considers themselves to be in competition with their partner. They can be hostile, devious and obstinate, and use threats, intimidation or duress to win. The conflict is black and white to them. They will win at any cost. It is an abusive style of conflict resolution and not helpful for resolving conflict within a relationship. In fact, it is more likely to increase tension and resentment. The competitive partner has high concern for themselves and low concern for others.

4. Compromising.
This is a practical perspective of conflict. It indicates a view by the partner or partners who are compromising that the resolution to the conflict needs to meet their mutual desires. In compromising, the partner does not relent or surrender. They choose to have their needs met in a way that is acceptable to them while relinquishing part of their requirements in favour of their partner’s needs. There is partial satisfaction for both partners. These partners have moderate concern for themselves and others.

5. Collaborating.
In this style of conflict resolution the problem is viewed by both partners as a mutual issue. They will collaboratively work towards a solution that is satisfactory and the most favourable for each. By collaborating on a resolution the discrepancy is clarified and the similarities are brought into focus. It encourages honesty and sincerity which will enhance the trust in their relationship. Partners who collaborate display high concern for themselves as well as others.

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09/03/2025

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20/02/2025

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