ConnectEd Counselling and Consultancy

05/08/2026

✨ FREE Facebook Live with Dr Matt O'Connor

There is a lot of noise out there about boys and young men.

Different voices. Different messages. Different opinions about masculinity, resilience, emotions and what it means to be a "good man".

For parents, it can leave us wondering:

💭 What do boys actually need from us?

💭 Are we getting it right?

💭 And what really helps boys grow into kind, capable and connected adults?

Join Dr Matt O'Connor as he shares both his professional and personal experiences of working with young men and supporting families

Together, we'll explore some of the common assumptions we hold about boys and ask whether they are always helpful.

🔹 Do ideas like "boys are this" and "girls are that" shape the way we parent?

🔹 Could some of our well-intentioned beliefs actually be creating the very outcomes we're trying to avoid?

Most importantly, we'll shift the conversation away from simply raising "men" and towards something much bigger: raising good humans.

Because while every child is unique, the foundations that help young people thrive remain remarkably consistent.

✨ Strong relationships.

✨ Emotional connection.

✨ Predictable and caring boundaries.

✨ Feeling seen, understood and valued.

And perhaps the secret to raising boys isn't about boys at all.

This won't be a conversation about blame, fear or quick fixes.

It will be a thoughtful, practical and evidence-based discussion about how strong relationships remain the foundation of great parenting — regardless of whether you're raising boys, girls, or both.

📅 Date: 5th August, 2026

⏰ Time: 7:30pm

📍 Live on the ConnectEd page. Hit 'interested' so you get a notification of when it is on

Whether you're a parent, educator, or someone who simply cares about young people, we'd love you to join us.

💬 Tag someone who you think would enjoy this conversation.

02/08/2026

🚨 It's happening THIS WEDNESDAY... and it's completely FREE!
https://www.facebook.com/events/1023863786667247

There is so much conversation at the moment about boys and young men.

Some of it is thoughtful. Some of it is polarising. And a lot of it leaves parents wondering...

💭 What do boys actually need from us?

💭 Are we getting it right?

💭 How do we help them grow into kind, capable and connected adults?

Join Dr Matt O'Connor for a FREE Facebook Live this Wednesday evening as we unpack these questions together.

Rather than focusing on what makes boys "different", we'll explore whether some of the assumptions we hold about boys (and girls) actually shape the way we parent—and whether those assumptions always help.

We'll be talking about:

🔹 What boys really need to thrive

🔹 The role of strong relationships in healthy development

🔹 Why emotional connection and predictable boundaries matter so much

🔹 How we can move beyond stereotypes and focus on raising good humans

This won't be a conversation about blame, fear or quick fixes.

Instead, it will be a thoughtful, practical and evidence-based discussion grounded in both my work as a Clinical and School Psychologist and my own experience as a parent.

📅 THIS WEDNESDAY – 5 August

🕢 7:30pm

💻 FREE Facebook Live on the ConnectEd page

👉 Click "Interested" on the event so Facebook reminds you when we go live:
https://www.facebook.com/events/1023863786667247

Whether you're a parent, educator, or someone who simply cares about young people, I'd love you to join us.

And if you know someone who would enjoy this conversation, please tag them below or share this post with them.

29/07/2026

The other week, my wife and I did our very first magic show together.

The verdict is still out on whether it will be our last! (She was actually excellent 😊)

Two things to know about me:

✨ I LOVE magic.
✨ I do NOT love performing magic in a proper way.

I will happily stand in front of an audience of 1,000+ people and give a presentation. I regularly present online to audiences I can't even see. That doesn't particularly bother me.

🎭 But ask me to perform? Different story.

This was for a parent talent night with a wonderfully supportive, encouraging and fun community. Rationally, I knew it was a safe room. Emotionally... my brain wasn't quite as convinced! I was still super nervous.

💭 It got me thinking about something I spend a lot of time talking to young people, parents and my own daughter about.

It's not about getting rid of nervousness.

It's about working out what level of nervousness is tolerable.

There is a version of stepping outside your comfort zone that helps you grow, and there is a version that is simply overwhelming. Part of the skill is learning where that line sits for you, recognising that it moves over time, and telling yourself a story that helps you keep taking those manageable steps.

📖 Because the story we tell ourselves really matters.

That story might be about what could happen before we do something:

💬 "I'll forget everything."
💬 "Everyone will think I'm hopeless."

Or it might be the story we tell afterwards, where we replay the experience and somehow only remember the mistakes, while skipping over everything that actually went well.

🎩 And funnily enough... that's one of the reasons I love magic.

The audience and the magician experience completely different stories.

Many magic tricks are actually quite simple in concept. The magic happens because your attention is directed to one part of the story while the important part quietly happens somewhere else. You don't see it—not because it wasn't there, but because your mind was busy looking elsewhere.

I sometimes wonder if we do exactly the same thing with ourselves.

We become so focused on the awkward moment, the tiny mistake or the thing we wish we'd done differently, that we completely miss the bigger story—that we were brave enough to have a go in the first place.

✨ Maybe that's the real magic.

I don't know that the lesson from all of this is that my future career is clearly in magic! I suspect I'll stick to parent talent shows and teaching kids the occasional trick when we're working together.

I wanted to share the video of the performance, but there were other families in the background and I didn't have permission to post it.

So instead, here's a still from the video...

🎩 ...mainly so you can appreciate just how magnificent my daughter's magic hat looks on me.

26/07/2026

One of the things we talk about a lot with young people is the importance of asking for help.

And that is absolutely a skill worth teaching.

But I wonder if we stop just a little bit too early.

We often teach children and teenagers that if something is wrong, they should tell a trusted adult. That's a great first step. But what happens after that?

The adults book the appointment.
The adults explain the problem.
The adults answer the questions.
The adults make the decisions.

Meanwhile, the young person—the person the appointment is actually about—can become a spectator in their own healthcare.

✨ We LOVED this recent article from The Conversation about actively involving children in their healthcare. It highlights something that sits right at the heart of what we believe at ConnectEd: young people benefit from understanding their own health and learning how to be active participants in their care. Research suggests that when children are involved in their treatment, they can experience less anxiety, feel more valued, and even have better recovery outcomes.

This isn't about expecting a 7-year-old to navigate the healthcare system independently. It is about gradually helping children develop the knowledge and confidence that they'll need throughout their lives.

Just like we teach children to cross the road safely or manage money, we can also teach them how to access and use healthcare.

💬 Some ideas that can help include:

• Encourage your child to explain, in their own words, why they think they are seeing the doctor or psychologist.

• Before the appointment, ask them:
➤ "What would you like to ask today?"
➤ "Is there anything you're worried about?"
➤ "What do you hope will be different after today?"

• Give them opportunities to answer questions before you step in. They might need support, but they also need practice.

• Explain what is happening during appointments rather than talking over them or around them.

• As they get older, involve them in practical skills such as booking an appointment, understanding what different health professionals do, knowing what Medicare is, or learning what questions they have the right to ask.

• Remind them that it is okay to say, "I don't understand," or "Can you explain that another way?"

One of our hopes is that we raise a generation of young people who don't just know they can ask for help—but who also know how to navigate the system once they get there.

Because help-seeking isn't just about reaching out.

It's also about knowing how to advocate for yourself, ask good questions, make informed choices, and develop the confidence to be an active participant in your own healthcare.

Those are skills that can last a lifetime.

Check out the article here: https://theconversation.com/kids-should-be-involved-in-their-health-care-heres-how-to-make-that-happen-283145

What have you found helpful in supporting young people to become more involved in their own healthcare?

Research shows there’s more we can do to engage children during health-care appointments. Three experts explain.

23/07/2026

🙋‍♀️ We need your help!

We have a FREE parent talk coming up on Facebook Live, and one of the things we really want to explore is:

💭 What qualities make a good man?

We’d love to hear what you think. Share one word, a short list, a sentence — whatever works for you!

📺 Interested in joining the Facebook Live presentation?

RSVP here and Facebook will send you a reminder when it’s on:

https://www.facebook.com/share/19Go7XG4cp/

21/07/2026

🎉 Queensland families – the next round of Play On! Sports Vouchers opens on 27 July!

Eligible children can receive a $200 voucher to use towards eligible sport and active recreation activities.

Sport and physical activity offer young people so much more than just exercise.

They can help build confidence, develop friendships, learn to work as part of a team, discover new interests, and experience the satisfaction of improving at something over time.

For some children, trying a new activity feels exciting. For others, it can feel a little daunting. As parents, one of the most valuable things we can do is gently encourage them to give something a go, while recognising that it doesn't have to be a perfect fit. Sometimes the biggest win is simply being willing to try.

If you've been thinking about signing your child up for a sport or activity, this voucher could be a great opportunity to explore something new together.

📌 Find out more and check your eligibility here:
https://www.qld.gov.au/recreation/sports/funding/playon/apply

💬 What activities have your kids loved getting involved in? We'd love to hear your recommendations for other families!

Families can apply for a voucher valued up to $200 for their child to pay membership, registration or participation fees with activity providers.

16/07/2026

Did your kiddo also have a meltdown after their first day—or first week—back at school?

In the last 24 hours, I’ve had THREE separate conversations with parents whose children found the return to school surprisingly—or perhaps unsurprisingly—difficult.

And even though listening and talking are a big part of my profession, I was reminded yet again of just how meaningful and reassuring it can be to share our parenting experiences with other people.

That moment when another parent says:

“Yep, ours struggled too.”

It doesn’t necessarily fix the problem. But it can take away some of the worry that you’re the only family finding things hard, or that you must be doing something wrong.

Because when we think about it, the transition back to school is a pretty big one.

Kids are moving from greater flexibility and freedom back into:

• Earlier mornings
• Busy classrooms
• Social expectations
• Longer periods of concentration
• Less control over how they spend their time
• A completely different routine and rhythm

We sometimes expect children to move through these transitions smoothly because they’ve done it before. But many adults don’t particularly enjoy returning to work after a break—and we usually have more developed coping skills and a better understanding of what to expect!

So this is your friendly reminder:

✨ Transitions can be tough.

A difficult drop-off, an after-school meltdown or some bigger-than-usual emotions don’t automatically mean something is seriously wrong. Sometimes, they simply mean that your child has used a lot of their energy holding things together and adjusting to change.

And perhaps another reminder for us as parents:

💬 Sharing the messy, ordinary realities of parenting with people we trust can be incredibly valuable.

It might bring support.
It might bring advice.
It might bring reassurance.
Or it might simply help ground us in the reality that parenting is often challenging—even when everyone is doing their best.

You’re probably not the only family finding the return to school a little bumpy.

- Dr Matt O'Connor

12/07/2026

✨ It is the last day of the holidays and I've just put the finishing touches on one of the most accidentally useful parenting experiences I've ever had.

About a month ago, my daughter spotted one of those miniature DIY room kits in a shop. Naively, I bought it thinking it came pre-assembled.

It did not.

When I realised you had to build it yourself, I thought it would be a relatively quick little project.

It was not.

I think it took me somewhere around 40 hours.

Now, I am not an artistic person. My Year 8 art teacher once told me she used my art portfolio as scrap paper (which, looking back, was perhaps not the most therapeutic feedback!). I've also always found doing arts and crafts with my daughter a bit challenging.

But somewhere amongst the tiny pieces, endless glue and instructions that seemed determined to break my spirit, something unexpected happened.

It turned into a really meaningful parenting experience.

✨ A few things surprised me...

🔹 My daughter got to watch me work really hard at something I wasn't naturally good at.

There were plenty of mistakes and more than a few moments where I muttered about how frustrating it was. What amazed me was hearing her respond with things like, *"If it was perfect, it would be boring."*

A pretty good reminder that our kids really do listen to what we say to them.

🔹 I forgot how much joy there is in seeing your child delighted.

Every time I finished another tiny section, I couldn't wait to show her because I knew how excited she'd be. It reminded me that one of the nicest parts of parenting is simply getting to enjoy someone else's joy.

🔹 It was meant to be something we did together... but it was actually too fiddly for her.

Instead, we'd sit at the table while I worked away and she played beside me. We chatted, laughed, wandered off on random conversations, and simply enjoyed being alongside each other.

Honestly, that was probably the best part.

Will she actually play with it?

Maybe.

Will the copious amounts of glue eventually give way and the whole thing collapse into a tiny pile of decorative rubble?

Also maybe.

💬 But that's not really the point.

One of the things I believe most strongly about parenting is that you can read all the books, listen to all the experts (yes, including me), and still find that the thing that works best for your family isn't something anyone ever recommended.

If someone tells you the best way to connect with your child is through a particular activity, there's a good chance it won't fit your family. Not because they're wrong, but because every family is different.

📌 The important part isn't *what* you do.

It's understanding *why* something is helpful.

Once you understand the "why", you can adapt it to suit your family, your child and yourself.

I never expected this tiny little model to become one of the highlights of our holidays.

My daughter loves tiny things.

I enjoyed making these tiny things.

It turned out to be exactly what we both needed.

😄 ...and when I say there are a lot of steps involved in making this thing, just wait until you see the photo in the comments.

There is a handbag about the size of my thumbnail.

- Dr Matt O'Connor

07/07/2026

✨ Are our kids forgetting how to just… hang out?

This is something I’ve been noticing more and more in my clinical work.

When I ask young people what they’ve been doing outside of school, the answer is increasingly:

“Not much.”

They might go to their weekly sport, music lesson or other organised activity. But outside of that? Catching up with friends seems to happen far less often than it used to.

As these school holidays come to an end, I’ve had a number of young people tell me they haven’t seen a single friend over the break.

And I think that’s a real shame.

It has me wondering what has changed.

I don’t think there’s one simple explanation, but here are a few possibilities I’ve been thinking about:

🔹 Families are busier than ever. Unstructured time is becoming harder to find, and coordinating two or three teenagers’ schedules (and their parents’ schedules!) can feel impossible.

🔹 As children become teenagers, they have fewer opportunities to practise organising social catch-ups themselves. Who do I invite? How do I ask? What if they say no? What should we even do? These are all social skills that develop through experience.

🔹 Are we making it easy for them to spend time together? Do they have enough independence? Is our home a place where friends feel welcome? Can they get themselves to meet up somewhere safely?

🔹 Our communities look different too. Many of us don’t know the parents of our children’s friends as well as previous generations did, and that makes spontaneous connection a little harder.

I also want to be careful not to fall into the trap of saying “technology is the problem.”

Gaming with friends is socialising. Group chats are socialising. Online friendships matter.

But I also think we all benefit from variety.

Sometimes I wonder whether we spend so much energy trying to reduce screen time that we miss the bigger question:

💬 What opportunities are we creating for young people to connect in other ways?

Not because face-to-face is inherently “better”, but because learning to organise, negotiate, problem-solve, compromise and simply spend time together are important parts of growing up.

Maybe the answer isn’t less technology.

Maybe it’s more opportunities.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Have you noticed this with your own children or the young people you work with? Or am I seeing a skewed version of the picture?

– Dr Matt O’Connor

06/07/2026

We don’t normally re-share content, but we thought this was such a neat and simple idea, and a great option for parents wanting to give their child access to a phone

The short version - you can turn an iPhone into a useful but dumb phone without any paid for apps

What do you think?