13/11/2020
Dear wonderful parents (and you are all wonderful as you are doing your very best and looking for things to help your children),
I’m writing to you to share some information that will likely be helpful for you in your parenting journey as your child navigates their first year of school as mine is currently doing.
Unfortunately we have all managed to have this journey begin during the Covid Pandemic 2020, which means that we have been thrust into the formal teachers role on top of our parenting, working, caring roles!
Firstly I’d like to acknowledge what a F* of emotions we are all dealing with at the moment, don’t kid yourself that this was any-sort of normal home-schooling situation, this was intense! The kids couldn't socialise and play with others for hours daily like they normally would at school.
Kids don’t just “exercise for an hour a day” they MOVE AS THEY PLAY! We were also often trying to juggle multi-age kids, and work, with only the immediate family structure as support.
We, in Victoria, Australia, are finally coming out of lockdown and our kids are back at school (thank goodness), but the same challenges are often felt in other ways, and also within the classroom.
My child’s teacher was providing wonderful activities, good communication and videos, and weekly planners for us. It all looked completely reasonable until you sit down to try to do it with your child, expecting that it will take 15 minutes and it takes 1 hour of frustrating dialogue, and constant reminders to sit down and stay focussed to get one sentence completed!
Now. I am going to attempt to provide some theories as to what might be making this so difficult for your child (and yourself), and give some strategies that work for my child, and other children that I work with as a paediatric occupational therapist.
However, at all times I want you to keep in mind the following things:
1. It is true that our brains are neurodiverse and different brains develop at different times. Our brains need to have lateralised before learning to read, and for many children this happens much closer to 7 years of age! Think now about the fact that most children in Australia begin school at 5 years of age. How many of them are ready for reading do you think?
2. There have been studies that prove that children who start school younger are much more likely to be diagnosed with attention deficit disorders, taking into account all other factors.
3. Best practice early childhood education in many Scandinavian countries is play-based experiential learning until at least 7 years of age, and they have some of the best education outcomes in the world!
I mention these things because I’m hearing lots of parents expressing worries that their child is already “way behind” and unable to “sit still and do their work!”, can’t concentrate, or wiggling and fiddling too much to get anything done. I want to say to you all that in most cases for Children 6 and under that is COMPLETELY NORMAL!
Children this age (4-6) are not meant to sit still for long, they need to MOVE TO LEARN! Your child’s concentration is likely fine if they can sit and listen to a story, complete a craft project that takes about 15 minutes (with some help from you), play a game with you or a friend where they create a story with toys and are able to sustain that play for more than 20 minutes, bake something with you, etc.
So why can’t they just concentrate for 20 minutes on their school work then? I hear you ask. Well the following theories I offer as some of the most likely, but not the only reasons.
Okay so take this scenario. Your kid is asked to complete the following task:
Watch the short video on precipitation. Make three pictures that show what happens in the beginning, middle, and end. Then write some sentences describing what’s happening in the pictures.
This seems simple but it is a highly complex task that requires executive function skills that are still developing at this age.
Children between 4-6 can developmentally only think forward in time about 20 minutes, they are still learning how to picture in their head what the outcome will be (what the task will look like when they have finished), in order to then plan, and sequence, the steps they need to take to get to that finished product.
To do this independently is beyond their developmental skill level. They do not have the skills to meet this expectation. Is it any wonder that they may present with behavior we find challenging?
You might have noticed that being in a lockdown situation we, as adults, were also finding that the expectations (parent/teacher/worker/etc) were beyond our skill level too. I certainly found that MY behavior, sometimes became challenging as overwhelm and frustration hijacked my brain!
The real expectation should be that they are able to collaborate with you, to work through what is needed for them to participate in the task to the best of their ability.
Learning skills through the process of the doing.
But for some children, though they need step by step help they also find someone peering over their shoulder an additional demand or stressor.
Through trial and error I found that sitting with her at the table, fully present but with busy hands (I would do sewing/mending) worked well. I was there to answer questions and gently offer help, but it stopped me from being over-bearing, rushing her along and jumping in before she had time to process.
Remember, children cannot think as we can. Their brains process, interpret and learn things in their own unique way. We need to allow space and time for us to be quietly present enough to notice and respond in line with these individual traits and needs.
The work is ours to do.
WE are the ones who need to adapt the environment (including ourselves and our approach) to fully accept, and better match what supports our individual child’s learning needs.
Its not easy. There is no quick fix. Fixing is not the goal anyway. Growing is.
Finally I want to stress that MOVEMENT is essential for young children to be able to regulate their arousal levels and attention for learning. We are not made for sitting long periods of time. Movement activates our vestibular and proprioceptive systems. The ones that wake us up, ground us, stimulate the release of feel good hormones, make us feel secure and safe in our bodies, where we are, and what we are doing in space.
So, what are our children communicating when they wiggle, jiggle, and fiddle whilst doing challenging work?
“this is hard, it’s dysregulating, I’m moving to try and maintain concentration, but this is not enough for me, I need to move to do this, why are they trying to stop me?”
So, what can we do.
• Build more intense movement opportunities into the day. Children should be moving in play for a minimum of three hours a day.
• Build movement into the task by considering how you can set up the environment.
• Break up the task and have playful, intense, movement breaks in between sections, etc.
Get creative, read their bodies, what does your little individual require?
