27/05/2026
Often, when our hearts are hurt, our first instinct is to close.
To protect ourselves.
To build walls.
To shut down and push away the very thing that caused us pain.
And so often, when someone hurts us, especially a partner, our first instinct is to blame them completely for what we’re feeling.
But sometimes… what hurts us most is not the situation itself, but rather the wound inside of us that the situation touched.
The abandonment wound.
The rejection wound.
The betrayal wound.
The feeling of not being enough.
The fear of failing.
Not being chosen.
Not being safe.
Not being loved.
And those wounds can run deep.
We can blame another person endlessly, but if those wounds were not already living within us, they would not grip us, consume us, and break us open in the way they do.
That doesn’t mean harmful behaviour is okay.
It doesn’t mean we should tolerate disrespect, betrayal, or abuse.
Healthy boundaries matter deeply.
But there is a difference between protecting your peace… and completely closing your heart.
One is wisdom.
The other is fear.
Because when pain arises, we reach a crossroads:
We can run from our wounds…
Or we can face them.
We can numb.
We can harden.
We can say, “Never again. I’ll never open my heart again.”
Or… we can become curious.
Why did this hurt me so deeply?
What is this experience trying to show me?
What part of me is asking to be seen, healed, loved, and brought back home?
The ego says:
“Close the door. Shut down. Never feel this again.”
But the heart whispers:
“Heal. Stay open. There is more love on the other side of this pain.”
Keeping your heart open does not mean allowing people to mistreat you.
It means refusing to let pain turn you cold.
It means refusing to abandon love itself because of what you’ve been through.
You can leave what hurts you and still remain loving.
You can protect yourself and still stay soft.
You can have boundaries and still keep your heart open.
Because love is not weakness.
Love is who you are.
Healing isn’t becoming someone who never gets hurt…
It’s becoming someone who no longer abandons themselves when they do.
