The.real.psych

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I'm a psychologist by qualification; but honestly - I'm a mother of three - a time poor small business owner - moody wife - friend to many - a cynically sensitive soul & most importantly a loyal realist to this all consuming thing - we call life..

04/03/2026

I saw this today….. and I needed to share…..

Parenting advice….. whether it’s a teenager or a toddler….. or a husband for that matter……

“If you come in hot, I go to war…….”

It’s so true……. The other person always mirrors our own reactions and nervous system….. if we’re wired, they’ll meet us at that level….. if we’re raging - they’ll rage harder…..

What does it achieve……??? Nothing….. just two exhausted people.

So irrespective of the war the other person might be in the midst of - go in “luke warm……..” meet them with a calm, stable approach…. And you might be surprised by the outcome or conversation that follows….

30/01/2026

So interesting experiencing my own symptoms of feeling anxious ……

Does it mean I have anxiety….. ???

NOT necessarily …

Anxiety itself is more than just feeling stressed or worried. Stress and anxious feelings are a common response when we feel under pressure or are facing uncertainty. Its a normal physiological reaction and feeling. And those that know me, know we have a few Changes coming up….

However, these symptoms that im currently feeling - sore jaw, no appetite, broken sleep, upset tummy - I know will subside once the stressful situation has passed (getting on the road).

Clinical Anxiety is when anxious feelings and symptoms dont go away…. They persist - and we don’t always know why.

So if you’re feeling symptoms of anxiety - or overwhelm….. Pause - step back and have a look at what might have recently changed in your environment or relationships…. What’s coming up, or happening in the background that might be causing pressure that you just hadn’t recognised….. are there things you feel uncertain about?

Self-care, routine and predictability is what we need in the interim - until we’ve problem solved, accessed facts or the stressful event has passed. And then our nervous system should let us settle…..

Do you recognise your own symptoms of feeling anxious? Are they actually just a natural response to something - or are they symptoms persisting? More importantly - do you know how to regulate and soothe them until the stress has passed…….❤️

09/01/2026

It’s been a while……. 😳 sorry…

Its an interesting period of the year - where we reflect on the year that’s gone and start to consider and setup for the year ahead….. the last few moments before school starts, routines settle back in and before we know - the grind continues….

Or does it…….??

A concept that I’m a big advocate of - and one that I’ve started to implement over the last few years - is

I N T E N T I O NA L T H I N K I N G ………

Intentional thinking is the deliberate, purposeful and conscious consideration of your thoughts - making space to let them flow and expand without haste or control….. letting them unfold as they naturally align with your goals and values - rather than reacting to random, automatic thoughts or worries - the kind that generate when living in auto pilot…….

It involves choosing what to focus on, to create desired outcomes, intentional choices - fostering a positive mindset, improving decision-making, and influential on taking confident action, moving from the grind of routine to a mindset of purpose and clarity.

Finding 10 minutes a day - whether it be on your Morning walk, the morning commute, your lunch break in the park or the morning coffee…. Spend the time intentionally thinking and daydreaming about what you want to shift this year - how you’d like things to be different in your world …..

My intentional thinking over the last few years has been about slowing down, getting away from the “ ick “ of the grind and reconnecting with my children …… and guess what……. It’s happening….. my manifestations are coming to life……. Because of intentional desire and choice….

Using focused thought to plan and create positive connected and grounded intention - places our brain and mindset in a position ready for opportunity and growth….. it enhances and strengthens the positive optimistic neural pathways rather than continually and subconsciously powering the negatives grinding ones …….

What’s on your 2026 horizon ……..??

Mine is breaking the cycle of the grind……. Both mentally and physically ❤️

I like this one…… each month seems to now have something attached to it…… a charity, a cause, a fund raiser….. often th...
30/10/2025

I like this one…… each month seems to now have something attached to it…… a charity, a cause, a fund raiser….. often things for others….. but this is by far the best!

Something you can do for you….. heres to setting boundary’s….!!

15/10/2025

M I C R O - R E T I R E M E N T

Have you heard of it…… ? A topic of a recent session…. What is it; why do it; is it even a thing……

It’s the idea that you dont have to wait for traditional retirement - the clearly defined period at the end of your working life. Rather, it could be a break or time out of your midlife career - something that might be required to help avoid burn out and profession fatigue.

It could be whats required to restore your human energy and levels of wellbeing by dipping in and out of micro retirement breaks……

Consider it - google it - think about how you manage your burn out and grind fatigue!!! I’m taking my mirco retirement break in 2026…….

08/10/2025

A recent theme thats emerged for a number of clients - is the realisation their parent/ care giver/ or partner has narcissistic personality traits.

No - these people arent imagining things, or being unrealitic…. They are recognising harmful patterns of behaviours that can have servere and devastating impacts on ones mental health….

Narcissists can engage in emotionally abusive and controlling behaviour, and warning signs include:

- Disrespect through insults and name-calling - feelings of never being good enough

- Public humiliation

- Verbal abuse: Yelling and being threatening

- Accusations, displays of jealousy

- Gaslighting or making you think youre crazy

- Blaming you for everything

- Isolating you from your family and friends

- Not respecting your emotions, trivialising your experiences, needs, or opinions

- Convincing you how you should feel or behave or act in front of others

- Projecting their shortcomings onto you or the relationship - creating blame and guilt

- Being controlled by their behaviours and reactions, like you are walking on eggshells around them.

If you recognise any of these signs in your close relationships - don’t doubt your judgement or intuition. These behaviours can be very real - they are manipulative and harmful - and you should always find courage to talk to someone about your concerns….

Living a life walking on eggshells is not L I VI N G ….. it’s surviving. Reach out …..

02/10/2025

I came across this new term……

M I C R O D A R E

And I sort of like it….. what it’s talking to - is each day challenging yourself to face a fear.

Each day - set a challenge of doing one task that creates discomfort…

- speak up for something you believe in.

- say no to something.

- have a conversation about something controversial…

These small acts of facing fears; confronting discomfort; taking small risks…….

All amount to overcoming anxiety and building confidence and self worth…..

Challenge yourself to a Microdare each day…… let me know what yours is…….. I’d love to hear……. ❤️

I really like these truths that Dr. Becky speaks……. I see this so often in my sessions….“……. When we have kids, we are c...
11/09/2025

I really like these truths that Dr. Becky speaks……. I see this so often in my sessions….

“……. When we have kids, we are confronted with so many truths about our childhoods…”

And this makes sense….. because what other tools or knowledge do we have…

But it can be overwhelming. Memories can turn up that haven’t been considered in years. The contradictions of then and now - what was ok then and what’s not accepted now. The changing environments and pressures placed on both parents and kids between then and now.

The emotional conflict is real….. the confussion can be overwhelming……. And we can’t always get it right.

Like Dr.Becky states - parenting is not for the faint hearted…. Every new day is a chance to learn, grow and reflect…. And this may also involve some healing…… And that’s ok.

We are all doing the best we can.

❤️

30/07/2025

V A L U E S - a cornerstone of my work.

One of my core values is Authenticity….. and something I think about a lot - is just how easily authenticity can be abandoned in the name of politeness - or even being a therapist…..

We don’t have time for fragile relationships in this day and age - we shouldn’t be swallowing our own feelings to ease the discomfort for someone else or quieting important questions to avoid normal disagreement….

We are who we are, and it’s empowering to take ownership and lean into this. Authenticity is my super power and what makes me me…..❤️

W H A T m A K e S Y O U Y O U ?

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