Kym Madden Counselling

Kym Madden Counselling Offering help with relationship stress, work/life anxiety, overwhelm and perfectionism, and feeling like you're stuck/not coping. IS THIS FOR ME?

Compassionate counsellor, lots of life experience, no judgement, support for moving in the direction that's right for you. We are constantly facing challenges in life and it can be exhausting. Our life energy can go into our problems, trying to keep things from getting too bad. It's so easy to lose sight of the kind of life that we want. Instead, we know what we don't want. If this is you, you are

invited to try solution-focused brief therapy. It's a process that makes change possible, based on the reality of your life. If you have been living someone else's picture of a good life - or trying to - you'll find these sessions really help. You'll find the space and safety to get clear about yourself. And you'll find a way forward. Solution-focused brief therapy is about moving towards a better life, while also dealing with whatever life brings. I have found solution-focused brief therapy a massive help for many, including myself. My qualifications are backed up by both professional and personal experience. I have a doctorate in communication, certification in counselling and a specialisation in SFBT. I am committed to the ethics and principles of the Australian Counselling Association. I've also gotten through very hard things. I understand being a perfectionist. Procrastinating. Self-sabortaging. I've suffered for way too long. Now I'm over 60 and free and happy. Know that if you want a good life, to live the life that is a true expression of who you are, you can definitely do this.

A few words by me (not by AI)Being enough is an inside jobIt's an interesting question to ask ourselves when do we feel ...
13/08/2026

A few words by me (not by AI)

Being enough is an inside job

It's an interesting question to ask ourselves when do we feel strong self-worth. Do we value ourselves more when the world extends accolades by way of a new job, a promotion or pay rise?

Do we feel more important when we pick up the keys to our new and expensive car, or new house? Do we feel special eating at upscale restaurants or travelling in style, being given the VIP treatment?

Do we approve of ourselves more when others show they love us, thank us, praise us in a group?

Do we draw value from the story we tell others about ourselves? About the kind of person we are, how well we've done, how great our kids are, suggesting that we're a bit better than this person or that.

There's nothing wrong with feeling good about yourself: this is a gift in life. However, when we look to others, to external circumstances, to feel we are deserving, we need to pause.

Because over time we can become quite attached to the opinion of others, and how others act towards us. We can feel buoyed up when others hold us in high esteem. We come to rely on external markers for feeling of value.

And this is a problem. Because we feel starved when our lives are not all rosy. We disapprove of ourselves at these times. We may feel depressed or punish ourselves.

Feeling we are 'enough' is best lived from the inside-out. It's realising our intrinsic worth regardless of the circumstances of our lives, what we've achieved, our roles, or the approval of others.

It's seeing ourselves as we truly are, warts and all, and loving ourselves for this.

We have more potential to be happy than we realise. May everyone come to this realisation. And may it spur us into action.

Especially in how we raise our children.

These words from Chip Conley strike me as relevant. Being over 60 is a time when we can think life's light has dimmed ju...
30/07/2026

These words from Chip Conley strike me as relevant. Being over 60 is a time when we can think life's light has dimmed just a little...it can seem less vibrant, less intense, and less beautiful.

In fact, having this gift of age is special. It's a time to blossom more fully than we ever have, if we can open to this possibility.

"The first quarter of our lives is about Learning. We learn algebra and awkwardness. We learn how to ride a bike, drive a car, navigate friendships, survive heartbreak, and occasionally do our own laundry. We gather skills, knowledge, and just enough confidence to venture into the world.

And, most importantly, society sets up the social infrastructure for us to get an education, as if we’re not supposed to have training wheels - in new endeavors - our whole life.

Then comes the longest chapter. Earning. We earn a living. We earn promotions. We earn mortgages. We earn wrinkles. We earn frequent-flyer miles and, if we’re lucky, the respect of our colleagues and the love of our family.

This is also the season of tending everyone else’s laundry. We earn the right to take care of other people. Sometimes literally....Children. Partners. Aging parents. Employees. Friends. Communities.

We’re washing, folding, fixing, financing, mentoring, and managing. It’s a beautiful season. It’s also an exhausting one, this Sandwich Generation.

Somewhere along the way, our own longings quietly migrate to the back of the closet. Not because they disappear. Because they’re forgotten.

We douse our yearnings.

Then, usually sometime after sixty—or whenever life’s obligations begin to loosen their grip—we enter a third season.... Our years of Yearning, although - for some - it’s just the era of adjourning…giving up.

I don’t mean wishing for a beach house or a faster pickleball serve.

I mean listening for the quiet voice that has been whispering beneath the noise for decades.

What have I always wanted to learn? Who have I wanted to become?

What part of me has been waiting patiently while I took care of everyone else?

I’ve come to believe that yearning isn’t a sign that something is missing. It’s a sign that something is calling.

The tragedy isn’t that we have yearnings. The tragedy is that many people mistake them for impractical fantasies instead of overdue invitations.

For years, we’ve been taught to ask, “What do I do?” Yearning asks a different question: “What wants to be expressed through me now?”

The beautiful irony is that the first two seasons prepare us for the third. Everything you learned. Everything you earned. Every success. Every heartbreak....Every difficult conversation.

None of it was a detour. It was preparation.

The first half of life teaches you how to build a life. The second half asks you to inhabit it.

So, if you’ve recently discovered a longing that won’t leave you alone, don’t dismiss it as a midlife whim or a retirement hobby. It may be your soul’s way of saying:

'Thank you for tending everyone else’s [stuff]. Would you mind tending to mine for a while?' "

The Art of EncouragementThe art of encouragement is being there for someone who has lost heart through the ups and downs...
13/07/2026

The Art of Encouragement

The art of encouragement is being there for someone who has lost heart through the ups and downs of life and all its unpredictableness. Life is weighing on them and they do not feel up to the journey, at least for a bit.

Encouragement means noticing other people's dips. It means listening the best we can without saying too much, offering calm attention and being willing to understand what they are going through.

And it's also holding an image. Seeing a bright future for another when they struggle to do so. It's seeing the potential of another, affirming their uniqueness and all that they offer the world - when they cannot. We are quiet visionaries for them, really.

The art of encouragement allows us to look at another with conviction. To believe in them when they cannot do this themselves.

At these times, we don't argue with them, trying to convince them.

By whispering rather than yelling, we convey that they are of real value to the world, despite the doubts they have, and the mistakes they may make.

We offer words of support when it's most needed.

And the art of encouragment is allowing ourselves to be encouraged, too, when we are running on empty. Giving and receiving work together.

PS If you are feeling discouraged, counselling can also help by offering you space to clear your mind and open your heart. See my website www.kymmaddencounsellingandcoaching.com for more information.

Some times in life are hard. What's the best thing to do?  How to do what needs to be done?  If there's no easy answers....
04/06/2026

Some times in life are hard. What's the best thing to do? How to do what needs to be done? If there's no easy answers....

Just keep going. One foot in front of the other. And know that tomorrow is another day.

You will find inspiration.

AnnouncementI'm delighted to let you know that after many years of living between the Sunshine Coast and Brisbane, I'm n...
27/05/2026

Announcement

I'm delighted to let you know that after many years of living between the Sunshine Coast and Brisbane, I'm now settled in Brisbane and offering counselling in Annerley. I also offer telehealth counselling in your home at flexible times.

If you are wondering if you could benefit from counselling, be assured that highly functioning people use counselling too. I can support you in dealing with stressful work/life situations and relationship problems.

Many times, there is a communication breakdown, or there are hard conversations needed. I have experience and skills in this area that make me a bit different from most counsellors.

Please reach out if you would like to chat. [email protected] or 0438 357 772

RESET. A Strange Word.What does it mean to reset yourself?Sometimes, it’s time for a reset. You may feel weighed down by...
03/05/2026

RESET. A Strange Word.

What does it mean to reset yourself?

Sometimes, it’s time for a reset. You may feel weighed down by a lot of demands, physically you are sluggish or you may be processing a lot of emotion. You know you are not running at your best, even though the reasons may not be clear.

Just like when your computer has slowed, you can try refreshing it. A light change – such as getting a few night of good sleep, getting more fresh air and exercise, or eating a healthier diet - can lift your motivation and give you energy. If this doesn’t last, however, you may need something more substantial. You may need a full restart – a reset is like that.

A reset is an interesting concept. And it can be scary. Because it’s a shake-up of your life, on purpose: it affects your whole self and the way you are living. There’s usually a decision made and actions taken.

There's a shift in our identity, and how we are doing things.

The need for a reset may build over a long time. It can be triggered by a shock, a loss, a deep chasm of grief or merely a grim realisation that things need to change. That life is calling. There’s a flicker of hope that there is more to life than this. It’s time for a change.

A life reset can take all of our courage, and this may take a while to muster. We also might need the support of another. Sometimes we have to get practical help.

A reset is a healthy thing because we do need it at some points in our life.

A diagnosis, a divorce, a job loss, depression, a death, a growing addiction, a relationship that is draining your life. Or months of feeling like you’re on a hamster wheel, going nowhere regardless of what you try. Perhaps you have simply moved into a different season of life.

Are you ready for a reset?

When Fear Becomes Our NormalWe all have moments when we suddenly feel unsafe – something in our immediate situation is d...
20/04/2026

When Fear Becomes Our Normal

We all have moments when we suddenly feel unsafe – something in our immediate situation is dangerous or could become dangerous. Our system goes into overdrive. We become hyperalert and prepared to fight or flee. This is our instinct keeping us alive.

However, much of our fear is not based on real external threats: it’s our perception, our interpretation, that makes us scared.

Fear that moves through you quickly and dissipates is not a drama; it is when we get into the habit of holding fear in our bodies, unconsciously, that fear can become the organising force in our life.

A fearful way of experiencing life can last a day, a week, a month, or years and it can have a devastating impact on us.

Here are 10 of the simplest ways to start to breaking down fear:

1. Slow your breathing. A longer exhale, in particular, helps settle the body's alarm system and makes it easier to do something constructive right now.
Example: inhale for 3 seconds, exhale for 6 seconds, and repeat 5 times.

2. Name the fear plainly. Labelling the feeling clarifies your feeling and helps stop it spiralling.
Example: “I am feeling afraid about this conversation.”

3. Break it down. Taking one small step at a time makes action more possible when fear is freezing progress.
Example: if making a phone call feels too hard, just find the number. Then press dial without lifting the phone.

4. Move. Physical movement helps to interrupt stuck thinking and promotes momentum.
Example: stand up, walk to the door, or open the document.

5. Change your location. Stepping into a quieter or calmer place even for a moment lowers overload and helps the nervous system reset.
Example: move from a noisy room to a hallway or outside bench.

6. Walk for a few minutes. A short walk helps discharge adrenaline and clears the mind.
Example: walk around the block before returning to the task.

7. Use grounding. Sensory connection with the world around you brings your attention back to the present instead of imagined catastrophe.
Example: name 5 things you see and rub hands together.

8. Ask for something small. Support can reduce the sense of being trapped without taking away your own agency.
Example: ask someone to sit nearby while you begin.

9. Write down your worry. Putting the thought on paper can make it feel less overwhelming and easier to evaluate.
Example: “I am afraid I will fail and look foolish.”

10. Do the smallest possible version of the task. Partial action often breaks paralysis and builds confidence.
Example: if a whole conversation feels too much, send one short text instead.

Fear can be exhausting. If you're going round and round with a dilemma you’re facing, a counsellor can help. Look for someone who will support you to make decisions, and move forward.

Everyone has the capacity to live their best life going forward. (Thanks Joshua Becker.)
04/04/2026

Everyone has the capacity to live their best life going forward. (Thanks Joshua Becker.)

How are you feeling NOW? Asking this question is something worth doing, even though we live in a beautiful part of the w...
15/01/2026

How are you feeling NOW?

Asking this question is something worth doing, even though we live in a beautiful part of the world. Because things are not always perfect.

Are we alright, in this moment?

We might not like what's happening. Chances are, however, we are ok. To realise this is enormously calming, and it creates a foundation to live a more positive life.

Author and psychologist Rick Hanson explains: “To keep our ancestors alive, the brain evolved strong tendencies toward fear, including an ongoing internal trickle of unease. This little whisper of worry keeps you scanning your inner and outer worlds for signs of trouble.

“This background of unsettledness and watchfulness is so automatic that you can forget it's there. So see if you can tune into tension, guarding, or bracing in your body. Or a vigilance about your environment or other people. Or a block against completely relaxing, letting down, letting go.

"Try to walk [outside] without a molecule of wariness; it's really hard. Or try to sit at home for five minutes straight while feeling undefended, soft in your body, utterly comfortable in the moment as it is, at peace. This is impossible for most people.

“The brain's default setting of apprehensiveness is a great way to keep a monkey looking over its shoulder for something about to pounce. But it's a crummy way to live. It wears down well-being, feeds anxiety, depression and makes people play small in life.

“Even worse, it's based on a lie....if you do take a close look at this moment, right now, no one is attacking you, you are not drowning, no bombs are falling, there is no crisis. It's not perfect, but you're OK.

"By ‘right now’, I really mean this instant....[putting aside] the past and future. Look again at the thin slice of time that is the present...Is the heart beating? Is the mind working? The answers are almost certainly yes.

“It's possible to access this fundamental sense of ‘alrightness’ even while getting things done. You're not ignoring real threats or issues or pretending that everything is perfect. But in the middle of everything, you can usually see that you're actually alright right now.”

Rick's point is important. Simply realising you are safe in this instant, that you don' need to be tense, gives you space.

It allows you to live from a more peaceful foundation.

What you are doing is shifting your view from the choppy surface of the waters of life to the underlying calm beneath the waves.

Sometimes, it’s hard to do. That’s ok. We don’t need to be perfect. As soon as you can, try it.

Freedom from Rules that Kill our DayAs a local counsellor, I have a question for you.Are you living by an internal ruleb...
12/12/2025

Freedom from Rules that Kill our Day

As a local counsellor, I have a question for you.

Are you living by an internal rulebook that cuts you off from accepting others, and yourself?

We all have our 'rules'. They are ‘the shoulds’ that have been passed on through our families or have blown out from our experiences. Usually without our realising it. They show up in many different ways, for example, “I should be able to x”, “you should do y” or “It shouldn’t happen this way.”

They act as rules for what we or others must do, or be, or how situations must unfold. If not, we feel entitled to be annoyed or upset.

This is not to suggest that things can’t be improved….of course, there is always room to respond in a constructive way. We also need personal boundaries, and and as a society, there are behaviours that we agree keep us safe as a community.

What I’m talking about are expectations that quietly but surely rule our state of mind: we believe things must be a certain way. They really must. We hold these ideas to be reasonable, to be true. And so we end up battling others, or ourselves, or life in general.

Every day brings a struggle of one kind or another. Because things quite often aren't as they should be. No wonder we feel depressed or anxious sometimes.

There is good news: our rules can go. The first step to releasing them, and finding a lot more harmony in your day, is simply becoming aware of any rigidity in our expectations.

What are you saying to yourself when you are upset?
What are your ‘shoulds’?

Just noticing creates some distance from them. These rules have been used by you. They are not you.

Soren in his Wisdom 2.0 blog says this:

'Most of us carry around a mental model—a story—of how people ought to live, and then we offer that story to others in the form of a should.

“You should get a job.”
“You should exercise.”
“You should be more like this, less like that.”

We get “should on” all the time, often by well-meaning people who don’t realize they’re placing their story on us.

Of course, life needs rules, agreements, and shared structures. But should carries a particular energy. Should rarely asks questions. Should isn’t curious….it doesn’t think it has much to learn—because should already knows it’s right.'

Dismantling our rules doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process of asking if we need this one, or that one. Is it really helping us be happy in ourselves and in our relationships with others?

Address

493 Ipswich Road, Annerley, Apartment 4
Marcoola, QLD
4103

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 5pm
Tuesday 9am - 5pm
Wednesday 9am - 5pm
Thursday 9am - 5pm
Friday 9am - 5pm

Telephone

+61438357772

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