Hold This Space

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Hold This Space

Contact information, map and directions, contact form, opening hours, services, ratings, photos, videos and announcements from Hold This Space, Psychologist, Melbourne.

At Hold This Space, our mission is to help women experience higher quality relationships and feel more confident and fulfilled by the relationships in their lives.

13/12/2023

“She’s such a good person. She is always putting other people ahead of herself.”

How often do you hear statements like this? What do you think of what is being said here?

I used to think nothing of such commentary.

What a lovely compliment, I used to think, whenever I would hear these words being spoken.

My only thought was that these were simply kind words intended to describe a generous woman.

I know that was certainly my intention whenever I would make similar comments.

But now I am more intentional about making such references.

Why?

I believe that such statements are ultimately harmful for the wellbeing of women and their relationships.

Even when well-intended, such statements reinforce the problematic narrative that good women are self-sacrificing women.

Read more in my latest blog post. Link in Bio ☝️

# mentalload

20/09/2023

Close friendships are a beautiful thing. If you are somebody who is fortunate enough to have close friends in your life, you know how good it feels. 🩷👩‍❤️‍👩

But when does close become ‘too close’? How do you know when a friendship has become what is called an Enmeshed Friendship? 🤔

The following are signs that can be suggestive of enmeshment in a friendship:

- Feelings of jealousy when a friend is spending time with other friends or people.
- In many ways, your friendship feels like a romantic relationship (minus the romance).
- You feel guilty when you want to spend time alone instead of being with your friend.
- You are constantly worried about your friend’s wellbeing.
- If both friends are initially single, it feels devastating if one of the friends becomes romantically partnered.

…and more.

Check out my latest blog post for more about Enmeshed Friendships and what you can do about it if you have one.

quotes # boundariesarebeautiful

06/09/2023

Arguing about the sharing of domestic duties? How much time you spend together? S*x? Money?🤦🏻‍♀️

At the heart of many arguments in relationships, is a dispute about power. Who has it, how much of it is shared, whose voices are being heard.

Power exists in all relationships. Whether it be your relationship with your spouse, your friend, your boss, or your colleague, there is a power dynamic that is playing out right now.

When that power dynamic is healthy and sustainable, it is characterised - for the most part – by respect, responsibility, and a valuing of equality.

Research shows that when we are cognisant of the power dynamic in our relationships, we are in a better position to understand it’s conflicts and to protect the longevity of our relationships ❤️

It is important not to be complacent about how power can shift and change shape over time, especially in long-term relationships that will naturally undergo ebbs and flows.

Read more about this important topic in my latest blog post. Link in Bio.

# mentalload

28/06/2023

Do you struggle with unfounded guilt sometimes? Or often, even? Even when you know you haven’t done anything wrong? 🤷‍♀️🥴😕

Over-responsibility is often the culprit.

When people struggle with patterns of over-responsibility, they experience perpetual feelings of guilt in their relationships and interactions with other people.

Over-responsible people, often women, feel that they are responsible for other people’s feelings.

Left unchecked, over-responsibility is a threat to sustainable mental health, healthy self-esteem and authentic relationships.

Some people have had problems with over-responsibility their whole lives but have never had the language to put words around it. They may not even know that over-responsibility is an issue, they can just sense that something isn’t right in their lives.😒🤔😬

Let’s have a conversation about this important topic. To read more, check out Link in Bio: ‘Latest Post: Let’s talk about over-responsibility.’

08/06/2023

No matter our age, whatever successes we achieve, and regardless of our levels of independence, we never really stop wanting approval from our mothers.🤷‍♀️

After all, as humans, we are wired to seek out mum’s approval.

The problem is that some mothers don’t easily give approval. Validating their daughters (or anybody) does not come naturally to them 😕

A cruel irony is that the more difficult it has been to experience validation from your mother over the years, the more likely you will feel you need it even years after you have moved away from the nest.

It is hard to let go of seeking approval from your mother, even if you know it consumes more energy that its worth. 😵‍💫🥴🤷‍♀️

The good news is that there are specific things you can do to make it easier to navigate life without relying on mum’s approval.

My latest blog post discusses this important topic. To read more, check out Link in Bio: ‘Latest Post’

09/02/2023

My adult daughter has a mental illness and her behaviour is negatively impacting our relationship: Does she behave this way because of her mental illness or is it ‘her’?

I get asked some version of this question regularly - both from clients and from people in my personal life who are very worried about their adult daughters.

99% of the time, my answer is: It doesn’t really matter, it’s not a helpful question.

In my latest blog post for parents who are struggling with the choices of their adult daughters, I explain my answer and discuss a more empowering question to ask when wanting to help your adult daughter and your relationship with her ❤️

To read more, check out ‘Latest Post’ link in Bio!

22/01/2023

Are you an adult daughter or mother experiencing tensions in your mother-daughter relationship? 😞😫

Mother-daughter conflict can happen anytime in the lifespan but they often emerge or escalate in the face of major life transitions, such as having a baby, moving out of home, facing growing health issues, or leaving a marriage.

For better or for worse, the quality of our mother-daughter relationships affects multiple aspects of our lives.

My latest blog post describes five issues that are observed in stressed mother-daughter relationships:

1. Perpetual Criticism: It feels like it’s never good enough.

2. Enmeshment: Who am I without my mother/daughter?

3. Emotional Distance or Lack of Interest: I want to feel more important to my mother/daughter.

4. Envy and Competitiveness: Their achievements are an uncomfortable reminder of what I don’t have.

5. Role Confusion: What are the boundaries of my responsibility to my mother/daughter?

To read more, check out Link in Bio: ‘Latest Post’!

12/12/2022

Are you considering seeking professional help for your marriage or intimate relationship but feeling unsure about which is the best option for you? 🤔

The world of therapy can be pretty confusing! It can be hard to know where to even start…😬

To help you feel more confident about seeking help, I have written a blog post that explains the difference between individual therapy for relationship challenges and couple’s therapy, and what to consider when deciding which is best for you.

Check it out – link in bio!
www.holdthisspace.com.au/blog/

07/12/2022

Feeling pressured or overwhelmed in the lead up to Christmas? 😫

It doesn’t have to be this way. Let’s intentionally decide that it’s okay to let go of some things in the lead up to Christmas.

Here are five reminders to help you prioritise what matters most to you and take the pressure off you and your relationships!

30/11/2022

You Are Allowed To Review What It Means To Love ❤️

It's possible to:
Love them – AND say No to them.
Love them – AND dislike them.
Love them – AND feel angry towards them.
Love them – AND walk away from them.
Love them – AND feel envious of them.
Love them – AND let them go.

What we think it means to love is often learnt from others before us.

You are always allowed to review and revise how you love and what it means to love.

I hope this has been helpful.

Save, Share or Check Out Link in Bio To See How Else I Can Help!

15/11/2022

The uncomfortable but important conversations we need to have when issues arise in our relationships..

It may bring up feelings of awkwardness, nervousness or even anxiety 😬😣

Hence we procrastinate on having it 🫣

But you know the conversation has to happen because it’s bugging you too much..

Here are specific, powerful steps to help maximise your chances of the conversation being a productive one to help your relationship thrive.

Plus Scripts for 3 Common Examples!

01/11/2022

Do you ever feel confused by your loved one’s emotional reaction to what seems to be a minor situation? 🤔

Or even feel that your own emotional reaction can at times seem out of proportion to a triggering situation? 😣

If your answer is yes, it is likely that in those moments there are unspoken need(s) that are lurking just below the surface, much like the invisible part of an iceberg.

We all seek to feel appreciated, secure, understood, connected and acknowledged.

And if one or more of these needs are not getting enough air time, we are all more prone to having big reactions to what seem like minor situations.

This is not to say that unacknowledged needs are anybody’s fault! Life can get stressful and it is easy for tanks to run empty or close to empty on tough days or during challenging phases of life.

The next time you notice that emotional reactions seem much bigger than the situation, it can help to ask yourself: What unspoken need(s) would benefit from being acknowledged here?

With enough practice asking yourself this question, it gets easier and easier to recognise these needs in yourself and your loved ones 😊❤️

If you have found this helpful, share with somebody who will benefit, or get in touch to see how I can help. Link in bio!

Address

Melbourne, VIC

Telephone

+61412965715

Website

http://www.holdthisspace.com.au/

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