08/07/2018
Avoidance and Anxiety Bevaviour.
Are you a parent who is trying to do what is best to assist your child's avoidance/anxiety behaviour? STOP and THINK you maybe effectively reinforcing or strengthening your child's behaviour!
The other day I spent time with a very concerned mother, her daughter constantly worries, avoids situations and appears to be shy. Thinking she would help her daughter overcome her fears and anxieties she enrolled her daughter in Ballet and Drama classes which according to mum were not cheap.
Her daughter was so excited until she walked into the room for her first class- she felt hopless, knew no-one, and in her mind everyone was looking at her. Her mum pleaded with her to give it a go as she already had paid for the lessons.
Some days the daughter would attend. However, once in the car the daughter would start crying and throwing tantrum. At home her behaviour became worse -often she would refuse to leave her room. Other days she felt sick in the stomach or had a headache and would convince her mum not to take her to lessons. Mum agreed so she didn't go!
A few days later I meet with the young girl. On meeting with her I could see she was scared and did not want to come. Mum made her and promised her a reward if she cooperated.
After chatting with her she became relaxed. The girl told me she worried so much about going to the lessons often for days before she did she would feel sick in the stomach. There were times to please her mum she would go to the lessons . However, once inside the room she became to frightened she could not think. I asked her what she thought the problem was? Her reply was my teacheer calls me "worry wart" I guess she is right I do worry and get upset easily.
I suggested to mum that her daughter comes and sees me for a few sessions, so I could help her overcome her anxiety and hopefully, assist her in her avoidance behaviour. The daughter was eager to come. However, mum said, "that its not wortrh it. I would rather keep paying for lessons, she will eventually overcome this silly behaviour!
I wonder is mum considering what is best for her daughter or does mum want her daughter to go to Ballet and Drama classes?
CHILDREN DO NOT GROW OUT OF AVOIDANT BEHAVIOR- It only gets worse without help. My advice to parent's that children are exhibiting avoidance behaviour to seek professional help. Once they learn stratergies to assist them they will start to enjoy the things they have avoided and worried about .
Are a few sessions in therapy too costly, if your child is going to grow up having skills to address situations rather than avoid them? Thats up to you to answer.
Does this sound like your child?
Excessive shyness. Avoids social situations. Constantly worries. Complains of frequent stomach-aches or headaches.
Avoid situations or places because of fears?
If you answer YES to any of these statements your child maybe experiencing anxiety.
Do yourself and your child a favour call me and have a chat. The first 5 callers to mention this article will receive a FREE consultation. 0488 477 566
