18/08/2026
This week’s topic of discussion is around boundaries and the need to have and protect them.
Merriam-Webster dictionary describes a boundary as “something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent” and in the same manner a personal boundary is just that. They are there to provide a limit of what behaviour you will or won’t accept, in all aspects of your life and that keep us healthy and strong – both physically, emotionally and mentally.
Boundaries exist for all aspects of our life; physical, mental, time, emotional, material and conversational.
Physical includes personal space, privacy and your body. You get to decide what you share and/or feel comfortable with.
Mental is the freedom to choose your own thoughts, opinions and values. The ability to feel safe and speak your own mind if you have different views to others.
Time is always a valuable resource for us all and this is ability to limit and/or direct the availability of this resource or choosing not to partake in a particular activity.
Emotional is about realising your capacity to support another person, it does not mean you do not care but you are emotionally spent and unable to hold them right now.
Material is about physical resources and whether you can lend your tools to others at this time.
Conversational is about putting limits to subjects that you do not wish to discuss, either right now or into the future.
All these aspects require the ability to discuss them, either at the time that the boundary arises or very soon after – if your boundary was broken. And I know that this can be difficult, especially if you are feeling unwell or vulnerable.
Many of us are people pleasers, and for those of us in the room – boundaries often get overtaken without you realising it. Here is a perfect example of when the boundaries get a little skinny over time. I was working in an open office and due to my kind nature, my colleagues “borrowed” my resources, and it felt like I was the library, without a booking system. One day a colleague asked me for a particular resource as she was picking it up. I stated “No” and she was quite surprised as she was already holding it and ready to walk away. I stated that others had not returned my resources and I am now limiting what goes and when. Happy for her to photocopy and then hand out but not take the resource for an amount of unlimited time. Yes, it was a difficult conversation at the time, but it was much needed and broke the cycle of overstepping and taking my resources without permission.
As the quote highlights, boundaries keep you safe.
