03/06/2026
When anxiety shows up, the instinct is to push it away - argue with it, convince yourself it's irrational, wait for it to leave.
So many people have been trying that approach for a long time. It helps sometimes, for a while. Then the anxiety comes back, often louder than before.
Internal Family Systems therapy offers a genuinely different way of understanding what's happening.
In IFS, anxiety isn't a malfunction - it's a protective part that learned at some point that vigilance was necessary.
That keeping watch kept you safe, that preparing for the worst meant the worst was less likely to catch you off guard.
The thing about protective parts is that they don't update automatically.
They keep running the same program they learned - sometimes years, sometimes decades after the original threat has passed.
Working from old information, faithfully, because that's what they know.
Fighting that part doesn't make it feel safe enough to stand down. Getting curious does.
Next time anxiety shows up, try sitting with it long enough to ask -what are you trying to protect me from?
You don't have to have the answer straight away. Sometimes just asking the question is enough to shift something.
This is the kind of work that goes deeper in therapy. If it's resonating, we'd love to hear from you.
http://sjpwellbeing.com/book
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