Blossom Child Psychology

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02/07/2026

💭 "My child is so oppositional!"

I hear this all the time. But here's something worth considering...

What if, sometimes, we're being oppositional too? 🤔

When children share their thoughts or feelings, our first instinct is often to correct, reassure or convince them otherwise.

But before we argue with their experience, try normalising and validating it.

💬 "That sounds really hard."
💬 "I can understand why you'd feel that way."
💬 "Everybody feels like that sometimes."

Validation doesn't mean you agree with the behaviour. It means your child feels understood. And children who feel understood are far less likely to argue to prove their point.

When setting boundaries, explain the why, offer choices, and make the preferred option more appealing than the alternative. This builds responsibility rather than resistance.

Children are far more likely to cooperate when they feel heard, understand the reason behind a boundary, and have some autonomy.

✨ Less power struggles. More curiosity. More connection. 💙

🌸

29/06/2026

One of the most common thinking traps I see in both children and adults is emotional reasoning.

This is when we assume our feelings are facts.

💭 "I feel stupid, so I must be stupid."
💭 "I feel rejected, so nobody likes me."
💭 "I feel scared, so I must be in danger."

But feelings are not evidence.

One of the most important skills we can teach children is to ask:
"Do I actually have evidence for this, or is this just how I feel right now?"

Just because we feel scared or uncomfortable doesn't mean we're not safe. Our brains can confuse uncertainty with danger, especially if we've had difficult experiences in the past. Anxiety is an alarm system—but like any alarm, it sometimes goes off when there's no real threat. 🚨

The same is true for adults. Feeling uncertain doesn't necessarily mean you're making the wrong decision. Feeling uncomfortable doesn't always mean you should walk away. Sometimes it simply means you're doing something new, vulnerable, or important.

Emotional maturity isn't about ignoring feelings.

✨ It's about listening to them... then checking them against the facts.

25/06/2026

🌱 Intention vs Impact: A Lesson for Kids (and Adults!)

One of the most important concepts I teach in therapy is the difference between intention and impact.

Intention is what we meant to do.
Impact is how our actions affected someone else.

A child might say, "I was only joking!" after upsetting a friend. Their intention may have been to be funny, but the impact was that someone felt hurt.

Likewise, children can become stuck when they believe that because they didn't mean to upset someone, they don't need to take responsibility. Learning to recognise impact helps develop empathy, emotional intelligence, and stronger relationships.

At the same time, understanding intention is important too. It helps children avoid assuming that every mistake was deliberate or unkind.

Mature social skills involve holding both truths at once:

✨ "I know you didn't mean to hurt me."
✨ "But I was still hurt by what happened."

Healthy relationships aren't built on proving who was right. They're built on understanding both the heart behind the action and the experience it created.

When children learn to consider both intention and impact, they become better communicators, better problem-solvers, and more compassionate friends.

20/06/2026

🧸 Why Playing with Dolls Is More Powerful Than It Looks

A fascinating study from Cardiff University found that when children play with dolls, they activate brain regions involved in social processing and empathy, even when playing alone.

Why? Because doll play allows children to rehearse social interactions. They create conversations, work through conflicts, and imagine what different characters are thinking and feeling.

This relates to an important developmental skill called **False Belief Understanding**, the ability to recognise that other people can have thoughts, beliefs, and perspectives that differ from our own. This skill forms part of **Theory of Mind**, which underpins empathy, perspective-taking, friendships, and social problem-solving.

When children engage in imaginative play, they're essentially practising these social and emotional skills in a safe environment.

As a clinical child psychologist, I see this all the time. Some children completely withdraw when I ask them direct questions about their feelings.

But if Barbie asks?

Suddenly we know exactly what's happening at school, who's upsetting them, what they're worried about, and how they're feeling. 😂

Sometimes children tell us their stories most clearly through play.

17/06/2026

🌱 Why Delaying Gratification Matters

The famous "Marshmallow Test" found that children who could wait for a larger reward often experienced better outcomes later in life. But the benefits go beyond self-control.

Research shows that when we look forward to something positive, our brain's reward system becomes active *before* we receive the reward. In other words, part of the happiness comes from the anticipation itself.

Children who learn that good things are worth waiting for often develop:

✨ Better emotional regulation
✨ Greater persistence
✨ Stronger planning skills
✨ Lower anxiety and stress
✨ More optimism about the future
✨ Less impulsive decision-making

Interestingly, studies also show that children wait longer when they trust that promises will be kept. Patience grows not just from self-control, but from believing that waiting is worthwhile.

Simple ways to build this skill:
🎁 Plan enjoyable activities in advance
📅 Use countdowns for special events
📚 Read books chapter by chapter
🍪 Bake treats and enjoy them later
🏆 Work towards meaningful goals over time

In a world of instant gratification, teaching children to enjoy anticipation may be one of the greatest gifts we can give them.

💚 What is your child currently looking forward to?

28/05/2026

One thing I’ve been working on a lot recently with clients is what I call “worry loops” — where a child’s brain gets "stuck" asking the same question, seeking reassurance repeatedly, or feeling unable to “let go” of something.

This is incredibly common in neurodivergent children, particularly those with anxiety, ADHD, autism, OCD traits, and sensory issues.

Often, the brain is trying to achieve *closure*. The problem is that reassurance alone usually doesn’t usually settle the nervous system, so the brain keeps circling back to the same thought.

A common trap parents fall into is trying to “fix” the feeling by offering advice, reassurance, or solutions. Unfortunately, when a child is emotionally overwhelmed, their brain is not in a state where it can absorb this.

Instead, it can help to shift the goal from “making the feeling go away” to helping the child move through the feeling safely and calmly.

Helpful responses can sound like:
• “That sounds really uncomfortable.”
• “I can see your brain is getting stuck on this right now.”
• “You don’t have to solve everything immediately.”
• “I believe you can get through this feeling.”
• “I’m here with you, even if we can’t fix it straight away.”

Sometimes children don’t need endless reassurance — they need help teaching their brain that the thought has already been processed ❤️

Address

Grantham Farm
Riverstone, NSW
2765

Website

http://www.blossomchildpsychology.com.au/

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