05/07/2026
Frankly, I’m getting tired of the “men don’t talk” narrative.
It’s just not my experience. Particularly this year, it feels like I’ve spent many of my working hours walking with men into the darkest stories. They are raw, unfiltered and gut-wrenching. Stories of addiction, violence, despair, the fear of failure and the paralysing burden of secrets. What it’s like to be a terrified child. What it’s like to be s*xually assaulted when you don’t understand what s*x even is. What it’s like to be the victim of domestic violence. To hear how kind, smart men sometimes live with a seemingly insatiable desire to destroy themselves.
And no, it isn’t a ‘type’ of man. It’s the educated CEO who runs a multi-million dollar company, the straight-talking war veteran who finally conceded he lied to every therapist he ever spoke to, the man from one of the lowest socio-economic areas in Australia who has to fight to not be “one of them”, the man who has lived on a rural property for many decades who reckons horses are safer than humans. They’ve all sat on the couch and said things for the first time.
I fear that “men don’t talk” actually reinforces something that hasn’t been true for a while now. Well over 50% of my current clients are men. In my private practice this week, three men enquired about intensive couples therapy. Not dragged to therapy by their wives, but proactive and not wanting their children to grow up in broken homes. Men are talking.
I’m not against mental health awareness and I strongly support alternative methods of talking for men, but if “men don’t talk” is the entire rationale for yet another awareness campaign that changes nothing let’s not bother. Maybe the message could be “men are talking – what’s stopping you?” Avoidance doesn’t have a gender, it’s just avoidance.
Men are talking. We need skilled, tenacious and compassionate clinicians who can say “Come in. Have a seat. I’m ready to hear everything you need to say….everything”.
hashtag hashtag hashtag hashtag hashtag hashtag
