Clare Rose Life

05/08/2026

If you've ever wondered why you're exhausted in midlife even when nothing is technically wrong, this might be why.
In Human Design, the motor centres are the energy engines of the chart. The Sacral, the Solar Plexus, the Root, and the Heart. And when these are open or undefined, you don't just feel your own energy moving through them. You feel everyone else's too.
This one is for the women with open or undefined motor centres. If you're not sure which ones you have, keep watching because you'll probably recognise yourself.
I have an open Root. For most of my life I lived with a low hum of urgency that wasn't mine, always rushing to get things done so the pressure would stop. It never stopped. Because it was never really mine to fix.
In midlife, when the body is already asking for something different, understanding which centres are open and why you've been running on borrowed energy changes everything.
If this is landing and you want to understand your own chart through a midlife lens, DM me and let's talk.

31/07/2026

I grew up with two versions of her.
The first, bent and cackling, stirring something dark, draped in black, the one who wanted to poison you, trap you, eat you. Disney made sure I was afraid of her before I was old enough to question why.
The second, Wizard of OZ. And no I havent watched Wicked!
Glinda. So good she floated. So pure she barely touched the ground. Pastel and perfect and utterly unthreatening.
And then there was the Wicked Witch of the West. Sheer frightening. The kind of woman a child learns to recoil from before she’s old enough to ask why.
Neither of them were real.
Neither of them were her.
Because the real WITCH, the one they needed us to forget, she wasn’t wicked. She wasn’t floating above it all either. She was rooted. She knew things. Plant medicine and body wisdom and the language of the unseen. She read the signs in the natural world before there were apps for that. She sat with the dying and the birthing and everything in between. She knew what was coming before it arrived.
And that’s exactly why she was dangerous.
In my early twenties I remember feeling my intuition like something stuffed with cotton wool. The knowing was there, I could sense it pressing against something, but muffled. Dimmed. Like a frequency I could almost tune into but not quite hold.
I don’t think that was an accident.
I think so many of us carry a deep cellular memory, whether from past lives or from the collective consciousness of generations of women before us, of what happened when we knew too much. When we trusted that knowing out loud. When we healed, and named, and saw, and said.
We burnt at the stake.
And so we learned to muffle ourselves. To doubt the flash of knowing before it fully formed. To call it coincidence, anxiety, imagination. To be the good witch, palatable and pure, or nothing at all.
But she is still there. Under the cotton wool. Under the conditioning. Under every time you talked yourself out of what you already knew.
She was never the threat.
She was always the medicine.

30/07/2026

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DbZPvv5BjBj/

My body knew before I did.
In my late twenties I hit my Saturn return and my body collapsed with chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, an exhaustion so complete it had its own gravity. I was already working in natural health and therapies,but felt lost & nobody in the medical world looked deeper. The message was essentially: here, take this, stop feeling so much. I didn’t take them, but the road back was long and largely unmarked.
What I came to understand through years of living in this body is that chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia are deeply connected to inflammation and a nervous system that has been running on empty for too long, the body holding what the psyche hasn’t had permission to put down yet.
After my Saturn return I did what my 4/6 profile was always going to ask of me: I climbed onto the roof, went inward, and healed slowly through self love and self responsibility, through modalities like kinesiology, homeopathy, flower essences, and aromatherapy. Tools that didn’t suppress what my body was saying but helped me raise my frequency high enough to finally hear it.
That healing became my life’s work through my forties, and then, stepping off the roof in my early 50s, I found Human Design. It gave me something I hadn’t had before: not the healing itself, but the map, the deep structural understanding of why we each have to find our own way home, because we are mapped differently.
I have four undefined centres. And understanding them felt like I understood the challenges, wounds & gifts of being me.
Understanding my design didn’t cure anything. It gave me a map. I know that my sensitivity isn’t a weakness to manage but an instrument to tend.
If you have undefined centres in your chart, and most of us do, this isn’t where you’re lacking. This is where you’re most alive to the world around you. The work is learning to live there with intention rather than absorption.
That’s what coming home to your design actually feels like.

27/07/2026

I’ll be honest with you.
This word and I have had a complicated relationship.
HAG I could find my way into. The etymology, the ancient knowing, the holy woman on the hedge. I could feel her reclamation in my bones.
But CRONE... she’s taken longer. There’s something in this word that carries the weight of everything women have been told to fear about growing older. The dismissal. The invisibility. The cultural stripping of power dressed up as irrelevance.
Something that got burnt at the stake.
Clarissa Pinkola Estés calls her the Dangerous Old Woman. The most radical, the most revolutionary woman in existence.
“She goes where she wants to and acts as she wishes.
She lives as she chooses.” (Clarissa Pinkola Estes)

And still I’ve had to sit with that.
Let it move through the layers of what I was taught she meant.
Because what got burnt at the stake wasn’t an old woman who had lost her power. It was a woman who had found it completely.
Estés also says we sometimes step, sometimes stumble, and other times are pulled into the territory of the Crone when the need for a deeper, larger understanding can no longer be denied.
I wasn’t pulled gently.
I’m still finding her beauty through the veils of what the world told me she was. Still peeling. Still looking.
But I can see her now. And what I see takes my breath away.
If you’re in your own wrestle with this word, you’re in exactly the right place. She’s not asking you to arrive. She’s asking you to look.

20/07/2026

I started reading HAGITUDE by Sharon Blackie from the E library.
Big mistake.
Not because it wasn’t good, because it was so good I highlighted half of it and then had to hand it back.
So I ordered my own copy.
So excited!
What she does in this book is quietly radical, she takes the word hag. A
word that has been used for centuries to diminish, frighten, and sideline older women. A shadow word. And she walks it back into the light.
She reclaims it as a map. A genuine, rich, mythologically rooted map of what it means to become a true Elder. Not elderly. Elder. There’s a difference, and this book makes you feel it.
If you’re in midlife and something is stirring, if you’ve ever felt that the culture around you has no real language for what you’re becoming, this book has language for it. Ancient language. The kind that lands in the body rather than just the mind.
It found me at exactly the right moment. As I prepare a talk on Becoming the Elder, as I walk my own path into this season, it feels less like reading and more like remembering.
Have you read it? Tell me what cracked you open.

20/07/2026

I started finally feeling like myself again when I stopped following everyone else’s map and found my own.
It didn’t happen all at once.
It happened in moments... on a bridge in Nepal with the hills disappearing into the distance ahead of me.
At the beach at sunrise with no footprints ahead of me.
In a 3 am wake up that I finally stopped arguing with and started listening to.
In a spontaneous connection with a person or a place that made no logical sense and turned out to be everything.
In the quiet after a decision I finally made from the inside out.

I spent years doing the work.
The books, the courses, the podcasts, the tarot cards. And I wasn’t wrong to try any of it. But somewhere in all that searching I was still looking outward, still handing the authority to someone else, still waiting to be told who I was supposed to become.
The moment everything shifted wasn’t dramatic. It was the moment I understood how I was actually designed to move through the world, and finally stopped fighting it.
That’s what I guide women through now. Not another framework to follow.
A map that’s already yours, waiting to be read.
If something in this is speaking to you, you’re probably exactly where I was. And you’re closer than you think.

10/07/2026

I had no idea how much I needed it.
Not for the vegetables, although I have become embarrassingly attached to my silverbeet.
For the reminder that things grow when you show up for them.
When you’re in a heavy season there’s a thing that happens where you stop doing the small things that light you up. Not the big meaningful ones. The small ridiculous ones that don’t make sense on a to-do list.
This is mine. A little plot of earth, some slugs I had to negotiate with, a coriander harvest that made me unreasonably happy, and the particular joy of watching banana trees grow for our whole community.
We’ve been taught to think of strategy as a plan, a goal, a masculine left-brain directive. But in Human Design, strategy is something else entirely. It’s how your body responds to what’s in front of you. The holy breadcrumbs. What lights you up, what makes you curious, what calls you back week after week even when nothing dramatic is happening.
🥬If you’re a Generator or Manifesting Generator, that’s your body saying yes. Follow it even when it looks like silverbeet.
🥦If you’re a Projector, wait for the garden that invites you in, then bring everything you’ve got.
🌱If you’re a Manifestor, you don’t need permission. If it’s calling, begin. Plant your seeds and let the garden grow in your wake.
🫜And if you’re a Reflector, tend something small while you wait for the big clarity. Show up for the plot. The garden will show you what you need to know.

Find the place that grows you.

09/07/2026

Seven years ago I walked this beach for the first time with my beloved dog, just the two of us, figuring out who I was becoming.

On that same strip of sand I met my community, met my partner, walked a thousand ordinary mornings that I didn’t know I’d one day ache for.
Life has a way of completing its cycles whether you’re watching or not.
I’m in a tender place right now, my mum turns 95 next month, and somewhere in the middle of all of it I’ve arrived at something I didn’t expect... not the absence of grief, but the ability to hold it alongside joy without the tension of resentment or regret.
That’s what midlife is teaching me.
Be nostalgic for the now.
Don’t wait until you’re looking back to feel the weight of how extraordinary this moment is. The rainbow. The person walking ahead of you. The version of you standing here, having walked through everything that brought you to this exact place.
If you’re still waiting for your rainbow, I see you. The walking matters too.
And if you’re standing in your own unexpected lightness, let yourself feel it fully…

09/07/2026

09/07/2026