30/07/2026
If non-autistic people asked questions instead of making assumptions:
Q: Why can’t you just go with the flow?
A: It’s like being asked to drive with no destination.
When my brain has no details there are no instructions, and much like a car, I am immobile without direction.
Q: Why do noises bother you so much?
A: Some sounds aren’t just received as regular auditory stimulation.
They can go to the part of the brain that feels pain. Meaning some noises actually hurt me.
Q: Why can you do hard things but not easy things?
A: “Hard” things use skills my brain is good at because it’s complex, structured, or interesting.
Easy stuff is usually repetitive and requires totally different skills like sifting attention, tolerating sensory discomfort, and organizing several small steps…which is actually more cognitively demanding for my brain since I have to complete each step consciously.
Q: Why don’t you make eye contact?
A: For the same reason I don’t kiss you on the mouth.
It feels too intimate.
Like it’s inappropriate to do with someone you aren’t very close to.
Q: Why do you sound angry when you’re not?
A: A flat tone, a sharp response, or very direct wording can be my norm, especially if I’m overwhelmed.
Sometimes I have to consciously think about my volume and expression.
When most of my attention is on understanding the conversation, there may not be enough attention left to make my voice sound warm.
It should go without saying, but it doesn’t cuz I’m saying it…that these answers are certainly not universal.
But wouldn’t it be nice if people ASKED about the things they didn’t understand rather than incorrectly deciding what it means? ❤️
