23/06/2026
Overwhelm is rarely about what is happening right now.
More often, it is an old feeling being activated in the present moment.
As children, many of us unknowingly took responsibility for emotions that were never ours to carry.
A parent’s overwhelm.
A parent’s anxiety.
A parent’s sadness.
A parent’s inability to cope.
We learned to adapt.
To be good.
To help.
To fix.
To become whatever we thought was needed.
Over time, that adaptation became our identity.
Then as adults, we find ourselves constantly striving to improve, heal, grow, achieve and become “better.”
Not because we are broken.
But because somewhere deep within, there is still a belief that who we are right now isn’t enough.
“I am too much.”
“I am not enough.”
“I am alone.”
“I am unloved.”
These beliefs create a lens through which we see ourselves and the world.
And when support becomes available, something interesting often happens.
We pull away.
Because support can activate the very feelings we experienced as children.
Helplessness.
Vulnerability.
Dependence.
Disappointment.
The nervous system remembers.
So instead of receiving support, we overdo.
We push harder.
We carry more.
We become overwhelmed.
Again and again.
Not because life is too much.
But because the part of us that learned to survive without support is still running the show.
Healing begins when we realise that we no longer need to earn our worth.
We no longer need to become someone else.
We are not a project to be fixed.
We are already whole.
Sometimes the work is not becoming more.
Sometimes the work is remembering who we were before we believed we weren’t enough.
🤍
