27/05/2021
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=331654598329995&id=100044563713758
"She will always struggle with her weight" was what my cousin said about me when I was 10 years old. Up till then I was a regular 10 year old girl (image on the left) who loved riding bikes & climbing trees, and I remember not fully understanding what he meant, but also how it triggered something in me that led to years of yoyo dieting and unhappiness. At 15 I went on my first diet. It consisted of one ice lolly a day. When my period stopped I panicked and started eating. Over the years I tried every weight loss fad under the sun and even made up a few. It took me many years to realise that the unhappiness was coming from within, because I'll tell you something - even when I was thin, I was still unhappy. In fact, it was never about my looks to begin with. So I started addressing the things in my life that were't working. Relationships, my past... painful stuff, things I used food to escape from. I stopped trying to "love" parts of my body that I didn’t like (my stomach/ bingo arms). Someone asked me "do you LOVE your elbows?" and it was like a eureka moment. I never thought about my elbows so why was I giving my stomach that much attention? The fact that our society focuses on what we look like has a massive impact, but shifting the focus to what my body could DO, rather than its aesthetics, made a real difference. At 42 I took up pole dancing in an attempt to reconnect with a body I felt no longer belonged to me after having kids. When I managed to climb the pole (and hump the floor) what I felt towards my body was respect. Our bodies DO so much for us, yet we treat them like s**t. We tell them they are no good because they wobble, because they change and age, but they keep showing up. They keep doing their job. And we think it's about loving them, when really it's about loving ourselves. Who we are, regardless of what we look like. I've learned to do that, unconditionally, something I didn't feel I had as a child and I believe it was at the heart of my personal "struggle". At 45 I don't have all the answers, but what I do know for sure is that life is short and I want to enjoy it! I also know that cake is genius, and that no one ever said with their dying breath "I wish I ate more celery".