Forward Therapy

24/09/2026

“Am I addicted to escorts?”

It’s a question some men bring to therapy with a lot of shame.

Paying for s*x is not automatically a problem. A more useful question is whether it still feels like a choice.

If you are spending more than you can afford, hiding the behaviour, repeatedly deciding to stop and then returning to it, or finding that it is affecting your relationships, finances or wellbeing, it may be worth looking at what is keeping the pattern going.

For some people, escorts become connected with loneliness, novelty, validation, anxiety, intimacy or avoidance. For others, the behaviour has simply become strongly reinforced over time.

Therapy is not about judging the behaviour. It can be about understanding what it is doing for you, whether it still fits with the life you want, and how to regain a greater sense of choice and control.

Read the full article here:

https://www.forwardtherapy.com/2026/09/addicted-to-escorts/

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Paying for s*x isn’t automatically a problem. But if escorts are costing you money, relationships or a sense of control, it may be time to look at the pattern.

17/09/2026

“Is my boyfriend a narcissist?” 🤔

I get asked that a lot.

But whether someone technically meets the criteria for narcissism or Narcissistic Personality Disorder is less important than paying attention to how they are actually treating you.

Are you being manipulated, blamed, diminished or made to doubt your own perceptions? Are you constantly managing their reactions, making excuses for their behaviour or losing confidence in yourself?

The first task is not to diagnose them. It is to recognise what is happening, protect yourself, rebuild trust in your own judgement, and then work out what you want to do next.

I’ve written about narcissistic relationship patterns, gaslighting, emotional labour and finding a way forward. Read it at lovecounselling.com/narcissist/ or via the link in bio.

13/09/2026

What happens when you still love your partner, but s*x has disappeared?

A s*xless relationship can leave you feeling lonely, rejected, resentful or trapped… even when the relationship itself still matters deeply.

My new article looks at why s*x can disappear in gay relationships, what may be going unspoken, and the choices that can emerge: rebuilding intimacy, talking honestly about s*xual needs, opening the relationship, or deciding whether it is time to let go.

'Gay in a S*xless Relationship'

Read the full article via the link in bio.

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06/09/2026

Have you ever felt like an outsider, even when other people welcomed and accepted you?

You might be an 'otrovert'.

Psychiatrist Dr Rami Kaminski uses the term to describe people who don't experience the same need to belong to or identify with groups that most people do.

Otroverts can be warm, sociable and enjoy close relationships. But they may prefer one-to-one relationships, feel more like observers than participants in groups, enjoy working independently and be less influenced by group expectations or conventional thinking.

And that's an important distinction: not feeling the need to belong doesn't necessarily mean there's something wrong!

Otroversion isn't the same as introversion, social anxiety, low self-esteem, anxious attachment, ADHD or autism. Sometimes standing apart is simply part of who you are.

I've written a new Forward Therapy article exploring what it means to be an otrovert, the characteristics you might recognise in yourself, what otroversion can be confused with, and the freedom that can come from belonging to yourself.

What Is an Otrovert? The Essential Gift of Not Belonging

Read the article:

An otrovert can be sociable, but has less need to belong to groups. Unlike introversion or extroversion, which describe how we tend to engage socially, otroversion is about relationship with belonging

19/06/2026

What happens when you're taught not to trust yourself?

I recently saw Leviticus, a new Australian q***r fantasy horror film, and found myself reflecting on conversion therapy, religious trauma and the psychological impact of growing up believing that who you are is somehow wrong.

As a secular therapist, I've worked with many people recovering from religious conditioning and the shame that can accompany it.
I've written a short reflection on the film and its relevance to therapy, recovery and self-trust.

24/05/2026

🖤 Even in the era of PrEP and U=U, an HIV diagnosis can still feel emotionally overwhelming for many gay and bis*xual men and their partners.

Over the years I’ve worked with many men adjusting to the emotional impact of HIV, including anxiety, shame, relationship changes, altered intimacy, fear around s*x, and the complicated emotional aftermath that can sometimes follow chems*x or periods of s*xual exploration.

What often gets overlooked is that HIV is rarely experienced as only a medical issue. It can affect identity, relationships, trust, openness, confidence and the way men see themselves and their future.

I’ve written a new article exploring the emotional and relational adjustment that can happen after a partner is diagnosed with HIV, and why supportive, non-judgemental counselling can help.

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An HIV diagnosis can affect intimacy, relationships, s*x and emotional wellbeing for both partners. Supportive counselling and therapy for gay men following an HIV diagnosis.

14/05/2026

Gay men disrupt the hierarchy simply by existing. They expose that masculinity is not fixed.

I recently had the privilege of being interviewed for an article in DNA Magazine Australia about the “manosphere”, masculinity, and the growing impact of online radicalisation and shame-based cultures directed at both women and LGBTQIA+ people.

The article explores how rigid ideas about masculinity can fuel insecurity, domination, homophobia, and violence, while also shaping the pressures many gay men experience around body image, self-worth, perfectionism, and belonging.

After more than 30 years working with gay and q***r men, I continue to see how these cultural pressures affect identity, relationships, shame, intimacy, and mental wellbeing in deeply personal ways.

Read the full article in DNA Magazine.

12/04/2026

The idea of a masculinity crisis is everywhere right now, especially in conversations coming out of the Manosphere.

I’m noticing more men quietly questioning whether they’re “enough”.

Am I masculine enough? Successful enough? Desirable enough?

With the release of 'Louis Theroux: Inside the Manosphere' on Netflix, more attention is being given to the messages men are absorbing about what it means to be a man.

What I see in practice is not a lack of masculinity. It’s men trying to perform a moving target.

Men start wondering if something is wrong with them.

Low testosterone? Dopamine dysregulation? Lack of discipline? 🤔

Supplement culture steps in with solutions. More energy. More focus. More drive.

But the underlying message doesn’t change: "You are not enough yet".

Over time, this version of masculinity starts to shape relationships. Other people can become competitors, an audience, or tools for validation.

This masculinity crisis has shame loop that can keep men stuck in it. 👉 Read about it here:

https://www.forwardtherapy.com/2026/04/masculinity-crisis/

01/04/2026

Do you recognise any of these patterns in your relationship?

❓Feeling responsible for your partner's emotional state.
❓Automatically accommodating demands you're not comfortable with.
❓Feeling guilty about wanting to leave, even when you know something isn't right.

These are signs of a codependent or enmeshed relationship dynamic, and they're more common in gay male relationships than many people realise.

My latest article explores these patterns honestly and compassionately, including some practical guidance on finding your way forward.

Read it here 👇 🔗

https://www.gaycounsellor.com.au/relationships/codependent-gay-relationship/

For information about fees, Medicare benefits or health insurance benefits see my Fees Page. See my list of available times. To contact me for an appointment, fill in the form below. I work with people all over the world, so include your location and whether you are interested in meeting in my consu...

04/02/2026

Great article about the new NSW laws into coercive control by Schultz in the Sydney Morning Herald today.

Coercive control is when someone uses repeated patterns of physical or non-physical abuse to hurt, scare, intimidate, threaten or control someone. It became a crime in NSW in July 2024.

If you feel trapped in an abusive relationship, help is available. Reach out to a counsellor, support service or NSW Police for guidance and safety planning.

In public the Sydney man was the picture-perfect partner, but behind the scenes was manipulative and controlling.