12/10/2026
Are you listening to your partner, or just waiting for your turn to speak?
I see a lot of couples in therapy who get this one wrong. While one partner is talking, the other is already preparing a defence, a correction or a comeback.
You might hear every word and still miss what your partner is trying to tell you.
Listening to respond sounds like: “How do I prove my point?”
Listening to understand asks: “What are they feeling, and what do they need me to hear?”
Understanding your partner doesn’t mean agreeing with everything they say. You can acknowledge their hurt and still have a different perspective.
Next time a conversation gets difficult, pause before answering. Try saying: “Let me check that I’ve understood you.”
Then reflect back what you heard before explaining your side.
Give each other room to finish. A conversation feels very different when both people have the chance to be heard.
