05/06/2026
The Emotionally Unavailable Relationship
Someone who is emotionally unavailable may desire all the attractions of a casual or even committed relationship, however, they will not be willing or capable of connecting emotionally.
Basically, being emotionally unavailable means that the person is not interested in love or exchanging emotions on a deeper level.
The physical side of the relationship, along with the intellectual and affectionate side, may all be perfectly aligned, however the emotional aspect of the relationship will be almost non-significant.
An emotionally unavailable person will very likely be unwilling to commit; not just to the emotional side, they will unlikely commit to any other aspect of the relationship either. They will be very reluctant to move the relationship on to the next level, even if it is just in the very beginning stages. They will struggle to show up and take accountability.
This person will generally make it quite clear from the beginning what they want from the relationship and if they don't say so in words their actions certainly will. Don't be fooled into thinking you can be the person that can change them. You won't and be the one getting hurt.
There are deeper issues in the way preventing them from a deeper relationship. They may come off looking as though they are secure and confident in themselves and they maybe but not when in relationship with another person.
It may at times appear as though they are playing games by putting the feelers out and wanting some of the perks of a relationship but not wanting the responsibility or depth that goes with it. They are very happy to receive what they can from a relationship but have no interest in returning the favour.
If you have found yourself in this situation you may feel as though the person is cold and cruel when in fact they have been telling you all along. The signs were there but you chose to ignore them. Don't take it personally, take it as a lesson.
Some signs of an emotionally unavailable person
-They are recently separated or still within a relationship
-The breakup or divorce was bitter
- Avoids answering or telling you anything personal
- Do not like to be questioned or confrontation
- They are hard to pin down when making plans
- Back off when things seem to be getting more serious
- Can be slow to respond to phone calls, messages and prefers messages over phone calls.
- Have no regard for the feelings of others
- Don't want to be photographed
- Keeps you wondering
Their past is too overwhelming and exhaustive for them and emotionally it is too much and the fear of the same happening is what causes the distance. They can change but it will happen in their own time. There is nothing you can do to speed that up. For some it can take a lifetime.
Two emotionally unavailable can find their way to each other. What is important here is to look at why, what has drawn you together.
Basically, the relationship with an emotionally unavailable person is like a mirror. We attract whatever it is we are reflecting out. It is up to us to hold up our own mirror so we can take a look at why we feel undervalued in the first place and then we can do the work required to heal, soothe and seal any wounds. We will then have less focus on what it is someone else is offering as we will have enough peace and love within ourselves to see us through. We can choose to either accept a person as they are, or attract a relationship where we give and receive love in a fairly equal and constant flow..XX
