14/06/2024
Trigger warning ⚠️
This was written by a dear friend of mine.
The poem shares a rare insight, in a beautiful way, of a veterinary professional’s “daily job”.
Written by Anin Badra ❤️🩹
Thankyou Anin for the permission to share.
Titled: Part of the Job
They say this is the hardest part of my job
I keep her company while the sedation kicks in
He couldn't be in the room for the needles
When he comes back, I'm stroking her fur
Hoping to touch her soul past her sleepy eyes
Both of them are having difficulty breathing
He rushes straight to me
This grown man
This mountain before me
Avalanches
I catch him in my arms
For a stabilising hug
He feels like a dandelion
This stranger, I've only seen maybe a couple of times
This stranger, with the disheveled look of someone who watched her struggling to breathe all night, like his eyes were oxygen therapy and he wouldn't have to say goodbye
This stranger, with water pouring out of eyes and nose
Opened his arms as he walked to me
And I hugged him like I've never loved anyone more
Because she couldn't and she did
And being here for her
Means being here for him
In her last job as best friend
He is wrecked by guilt
Each "I love you"
Means "I'm sorry"
Each "I'm sorry"
Means "I'll continue loving you forever"
"I'm sorry for murdering you"
He breaks
I quickly pick up the glue made of words I keep in my pocket, the corners worn from being used so often
"You put her comfort above your own heart.
That is not murder
That is compassion"
He cries a little as I put my words away again.
I know I'll need them later. I always do.
He can't be with her when the last needle comes in
He can't watch it
Not without
stealing away
Her green dream
"I'll be here with her" I say
For a moment, she is my whole life
Because she is his
And he was hers
And today my job is to be both of them to each other
I held up her vein
Opening the way
For the ultimate all-pain relief
As I feel the injection
rushing under my thumb
I catch her last laboured breath
In the palms of my heart
I carefully take paw prints
With black ink
So he remembers to keep walking
Even in the dark
I worry he might not
When your whole life dies
It feels like your body should follow
So
I make a note on the system
To call him tomorrow
His heart is an infected wound
We will try to keep clean
With the antibiotic properties
Of shared tears
I place her body
In the black plastic bag
Like she's a treasure
His tears
on her fur
will
stay frozen
Until they
burn
They say this is the hardest part of my job
But all I did
Was witness undying love
And hold it in my arms
In my hands
In my ink
And I feel so honoured
To have been allowed in
