Tom Ahern - Individual and Couples Counselling

27/05/2026

Hi all!

I hope you’re having an enjoyable week. I’ve written an article about beginning therapy for those of you new to it (and perhaps those of you who are well on your way—a seasoned client if you will!—keen to look back and reflect on your journey).

My hope in writing this is that it offers some solace, some reassurance, as this path can be tremendously scary. It certainly was for me when I first began my own personal therapy back in my early twenties.

That said, not only are anxiety and trepidation to be expected, but they are, in my opinion, actually a sign that you’re right where you need to be.

You’re on the path.
You’re pressing into your growth edge.
You’re about to become a whole lot more.

Feel free to read the article here: https://substack.com/home/post/p-199406508

I'll leave you with one of my favourite quotes by the always inspiring psychoanalyst Dr. James Hollis: “Thus we are forced into a difficult choice: anxiety or depression. If we move forward, as our soul insists, we may be flooded with anxiety. If we do not move forward, we will suffer the depression, the pressing down of the soul’s purpose. In such a difficult choice one must choose anxiety, for anxiety is at least the path of personal growth; depression is a stagnation and defeat of life.”

“In our personal lives, if we do not develop our own self-awareness and become responsible for first creations, we empower other people and circumstances to shape our lives by default.” – Stephen Covey

27/04/2026

There aren't too many things I enjoy more than caffeinated writing!

I heard the author and podcaster Jay Shetty once say that, "Your passion is for you, your purpose is for everyone else."

Working as a counsellor is my purpose: It allows me to be as helpful as I can, in any way I can.

Writing, on the other hand, is my passion: It inspires me and reduces the mental noise, thereby gently ushering me back into the timeless present where all problems cease to be, and where love and compassion are eternal.

Happy Tuesday morning to you!

17/04/2026

16/04/2026

Hi everyone,

I have new availabilities for individual and couples counselling come the 5th of May. I'm based out of Warragul Natural Health just opposite the Woolworths in Warragul, and will be available from 2-6pm on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

A bit about me: I'm a PACFA registered counsellor with seven years experience. I believe that real change happens in the context of a safe, supportive relationship—not through labels or quick fixes. While diagnostic models can sometimes provide clarity, my work is less about categorising people and more about creating the kind of relationship where genuine healing can occur.

As one of my idols Irvin Yalom wrote, “The act of revealing oneself fully to another and still being accepted may be the major vehicle of therapeutic help.”

If you're interested in counselling or have any questions, please feel free to contact me here: https://ahern.blog/contact/

Wishing you all the best,

Tom

For all enquiries, please fill out the form below.

11/04/2026

For quite a while now, I've been thinking that the answer to "finding your purpose" doesn't so much lie in stumbling upon that project, mission, aim or pursuit that makes you feel "worthy", but rather, being an active member of a group of people who value your presence.

If I'm being honest, I've come to believe that "finding your purpose" is merely another capitalistic commodity. You can sell "finding your purpose is four easy steps", but you can't make a product out of good friends catching up for dinner, laughing and sharing stories.

Please do consider the importance of connection; we all know how damaging loneliness is.

Find your people—they're out there. Then perhaps you won't feel like you need to achieve so much. Your presence will simply be enough.

(HINT: It already is. You might just not realise it yet.)

20/03/2026

I’m really excited about what my friends Dianna and Kael are offering here for women who want to regain control of their nervous systems, build resilience and strength. It’s the perfect mix of psychology, psychotherapy and self-defence—and they’re just the great humans ever.

If you’re interested, check out more here: https://kaelcoster.com/embodied-strength/

💪💪

04/02/2026

Quick tip when navigating couple conflict or that "big conversation": See if you can increase your positive energy as much as possible prior to engaging with your loved. Go to the gym, do yoga, meditate, stretch, have a coffee with a friend, dance to your favourite band in the kitchen (my go-to is TOOL); do whatever you need to do to maximise your energy levels prior to resolving conflict. It will help you view your loved one in the best possible light for the longest possible time, and that will help stave off the unnecessary build-up of resentment, anxiety, frustration etc.

Send a message to learn more

02/02/2026

Why do we do what we do? Freud believed it was because we are motivated by the pleasure principle—the will to pleasure. Neitzsche believed we were fundamentally motivated by power. And Becker? Death...

Since Ernest Becker died in the mid 70's, his ideas have been tested rigorously by the social psychologists who I was lucky enough to interview for the second time around on my podcast. They coined the term 'Terror Management Theory', the idea being that everything we do is in some way to fend off our underlying fear of ego annihilation.

I know it sounds quite morbid, but it's actually not only interesting, but enlightening. Coming to terms with death frees us from the confines of inauthentic living, liberating us to see life as a precious gift. But we can only reach such heights when we realise it will all end—and very soon too.

Remember, the top 5 regrets of the dying are:

1. "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."
2. "I wish I didn't work so hard."
3. "I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings."
4. "I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends."
5. "I wish that I had let myself be happier." �

If you're interested in these ideas, give my latest episode a listen. You can find it anywhere you find podcasts. Here's a brief highlight from the show:

The Mind Mate Podcast explores the human condition at the intersection of spirituality, philosophy and psychotherapy. Hosted by couples counsellor and psycho...