01/08/2026
As Australia continues to grapple with the devastating crisis of violence against women, it’s equally important that we don’t overlook another group of victims.
Men can also experience domestic and family violence.
Many suffer in silence because they’re afraid they won’t be believed, that they’ll be laughed at, or that they’ll be seen as the perpetrator rather than the victim.
Coercive control isn’t about gender.
It’s about power, control and fear.
One of the most misunderstood aspects of coercive control is reactive behaviour. Sometimes, after months or years of being controlled, belittled, isolated or manipulated, a person reacts. When that person is a man, that reaction will probably be frightening.
But one moment should never automatically erase the context of what came before it.
Family law doesn’t look at a single incident in isolation. It looks at the pattern of behaviour, the history of the relationship, the dynamics between the parties, and whether coercive or controlling behaviour has occurred over time.
Our family law system, like any system, isn’t perfect. Male victims can sometimes find it difficult to have their experiences recognised, particularly where there has been reactive behaviour or limited evidence of the broader pattern of control.
But that doesn’t mean it can’t happen.
It starts with speaking up.
It starts with finding someone who will listen.
And it starts with finding the right advocate to help tell your story and present the full context—not just your worst moment.
This post isn’t intended to minimise the very real crisis of violence against women. Rather, it’s a reminder that domestic and family violence can affect anyone, and every victim deserves to be heard, supported and taken seriously.
