10/29/2024
The content of a couple’s complaints is often not the core issue plaguing their relationship. Their disagreements over money, s*x, time management, or raising kids are only part of the picture.
Partners will believe that the subject of their conflicts – money, s*x, time, etc – is the source of their problems. The core issue plaguing their relationship lies not in these complaints, but in how they deal with one other.
Errors in memory, perception, and communication are most likely to blame.
Everyone makes errors in these areas. Accepting this will make it easier to view misunderstandings as a result of human error rather than personal attacks.
The goal is to get partners to remain curious and accept that their version of reality is not indisputable.