01/21/2020
Recently, a guy on the internet nonchalantly commented that we were probably just trying to sell more ‘spiritual bu****it.’
Before we even saw it these words poured out from a recent sacred pregnancy retreat attendee and client.
She just kept speaking. Being heard. Being seen. Not giving up. Not melting into the background. Standing firm.
The way this mother birthed actually: in such power. I can hear it even now, in her voice.
And Both of us birth workers had leaky eyes.
This is why we do the work.
“We live in a world where un-achievable perfection has become the ‘goal’. Where we are all supposed to smile and shine and pretend like life has no hardships and that we haven’t experienced struggle along the way to where we are now.
As mothers we are ‘supposed’ to have a beautiful pregnancy, looking and feeling top notch, birth children with ease, and raise them in a perfectly presentable, organized, neat and tidy fashion all wrapped up with a bow.
However, you are a man, of intelligence I’m sure, you have not experienced what a journey it can be to becoming a mother. I am sure there are women in your life who you appreciate, who have walked this journey and can attest to some of the struggles and expectations they faced leading up to becoming a mother and walking their path daily. Ask them! They may share how they feel if they feel comfortable enough to do so with you. Or they may not.
Spirituality can mean a variety of different things to many people, but if your definition includes a sense of connectedness of body, mind and spirit, a sense of connectedness to others and the belief that there is more than us and these bodies we are blessed to have than your definition would align with my definition of spirituality. If that’s not the case, that’s okay! If the idea of spirituality does not resonate with you at all, that’s okay! We are all individuals with our own beliefs, feelings and experiences of this world.
The Sacred Pregnancy retreat that I attended was a spiritual experience for me. It allowed me to be raw, to share my emotions and experiences with other women who had all had their own experiences that they needed to share. You may think, hey, that’s what therapy is for….talking about feelings and such! You would be correct! Therapy is an amazing tool for many to use. But just as spirituality means different things to different people, different tools tackle different jobs and create different results. The retreat allowed us as women to be seen as we are, to be listened to without judgement, to be connected through very different paths all meeting at this space creating a sense of a village you could trust and depend on which was a very powerful tool for many of us. The experience allowed me to break through layers of fear and frustrations accompanying aspects of my life. It assisted it growing my confidence and revising my expectations of birth and motherhood to more closely align with reality. It was a time and place where peace and calm were prevalent and I was able to sink in and be present for a change in these busy times. It was a time where love was strong in that we were all there for ourselves but also there to show other women that they are worthy, appreciated and cared about. Attending this retreat was one of the very powerful tools that allowed me to have the birth that I was hoping for of my daughter recently, including empowering my husband, myself, fostering better connection and communication around the birthing process and leaning into it with love instead of fear. It has been a tool that has helped my postpartum experience this time around (with my second child) be an entirely different experience, where postpartum depression isn’t masking the beautiful moments of joy of a newborn (this will be different for every women with every birth). Where the nights of interrupted sleep don’t seem as daunting. And one of the most powerful tools from this retreat is knowing that in gathering there, we created a beautiful village of women and those connected to them. It’s knowing that I have an amazing community of women who are all experiencing their own journeys but we are all also there for each other. To cheer each other on, to listen to, to laugh and to cry with, to celebrate small successes with, to call upon for advice and to remind you, you’re never alone….even at 4 am when you can’t get the baby to bed, there’s spit-up all down your shirt and everyone else in the house is sleeping.
So, if that is what ‘spiritual bu****it’ is, you can bet your ass I’m going to pay for that spiritual bu****it time and time and time again. And I would recommend it in a heartbeat to any women who felt the idea of it resonated with them ❤”
By Brianne.
Image of Skye at our Seed To Village postpartum retreat 3 by Lace & Locket Photography. Telling her story.
Keep speaking.
https://facebook.com/events/s/sacred-pregnancy-calgary-retre/2438078246445287/?ti=icl
