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Tri Lotus Psychotherapy

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Calgary, AB
Tri Lotus Psychotherapy

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Providing counselling for adults, couples, teens, and families in Calgary and online throughout Alberta.

Now offering ADHD assessments for adults and teens (16+).

11/03/2026

Happy Relationship Tip Tuesday! 🫶🏼

It is 8 pm, the dishes are done, and your partner mentions how tired they are. Suddenly you are listing everything you did today. Many couples fall into this one, and it makes sense when you are both stretched thin. 🍂

Dr. John Gottman’s research on couples explains why it matters. Most unhappy couples live in what he calls Negative Sentiment Override, where even neutral comments land as negative and the good moments go unnoticed. Couples who stay happy keep about 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative during conflict.

Keeping score trains your attention on what is missing, and that works against the 5 to 1 balance. When couples argue about who does more, they can start to see each other as adversaries instead of allies. 🌿

A small shift helps. Let your partner’s stress land before you defend your own workload. The Gottman Method calls this accepting influence.

🪴 When your partner says, “I’m exhausted from doing the dishes,” leave out “Well, I mowed the lawn.”
🪴 Say, “It sounds like you’ve had a really long day. Thank you for doing that.”
🪴 Acknowledge their stress first. Your workload counts, and you can bring it up later when things are calm.
🪴 Ask yourself what your partner needs to hear right now, then say that.

11/02/2026

The conversation ended hours ago. You’re still replaying it line by line, wondering how it landed. 🧠

Overthinking after a hard conversation is your mind trying to find certainty in a moment that didn’t give you any. It’s exhausting, and it’s very common.

🪴 Write down what was actually said, separate from what you think it meant
🪴 Ask yourself, “Is there something I need to do, or am I looking for certainty?”
🪴 If something feels unresolved, follow up instead of guessing
🪴 Give the replay a time limit, then do something that uses your hands

Save this for the next time your brain won’t let a conversation go. 🤍

If this happens after most difficult conversations, our therapists at Tri Lotus Psychotherapy can help you understand where the loop comes from and how to settle it sooner.

Book a free 20-minute phone consult or your first appointment at the link in bio ☝️

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10/31/2026

Happy Halloween! 🎃 👻
Sometimes the spookiest things have nothing to do with costumes. They are small habits that sneak up on busy, caring people. 🍂

Pick the one that feels most familiar, and try the tip next to it:

🪴 If you give everything to others, schedule one thing each week that is only for you. If you have been pulling away to protect your energy, reach out to one person this week. Your needs and your community both belong in your week.
🪴 When everything feels urgent, write the list down and circle the one thing that has a real deadline.
🪴 If you only see the negative, name one thing from today that went okay, even if it is small.
🪴 A boundary describes what you will do, like leaving the dinner if voices get raised. If you enforce it, the follow-through is yours. Blaming others for crossing a line you have not held keeps you stuck.
🪴 A request asks someone else to change. Both are fair to make. Call each one by its name.
🪴 You are responsible for your own words and actions. Other people’s emotions belong to them.
🪴 A thought is one possible read of a situation. Check it against the facts before you act on it.
🪴 Do the good-for-you things on the days you do not feel like it, even in a small version.

Our therapists at Tri Lotus Psychotherapy help you spot these patterns and build tools that fit your life. Book a free 20-minute phone consult or your first appointment at the link in bio ☝️

10/29/2026

From November to January, almost every invitation quietly assumes there are two of you. 🍂

The work party. The dinners. Everyone else arrives as a pair and you arrive as yourself, and then somebody’s aunt asks whether you are seeing anyone. Then someone else asks when you are going to settle down.

Feeling lonely in a season built for couples is one of the most common experiences there is and one of the least talked about.

If the last six weeks of the year sit heavy for you, you are in very large company.
Six straight weeks of proving you are fine is tiring, and someone sitting beside you makes the questions stop. 🌿

The pressure is quiet, and it is expensive. It looks like accepting things in October you would have walked away from in June.

Staying in something that stopped working back in the summer, because ending it now means going through December on your own. Talking to yourself about being single in a way you would never talk to a friend. Moving fast with someone before you are anywhere close to ready.

What we suggest doing instead in the next 6 weeks:
🪴 Have your lines ready before you need them. “I’m not seeing anyone right now” is a full sentence. So is “You’ll be the first to know.”
🪴 Decline the one you are dreading most. Not all of them, just that one.
🪴 Go with your people. Your other single friends, your sister, your cousin, the friend who also hates these things.
🪴 Put something in the season you genuinely want. A trip, a concert, a standing Thursday with friends. Book it now so it exists on the calendar.
🪴 Watch the standards. If something is showing up in someone that you would have named clearly in June, it is still that thing in December.
🪴 Notice how you are speaking to yourself.

Being at ease on your own is worth building, and it does not arrive all at once. What it gives you is the ability to choose someone because you want them there, at any time of year. 🤍

10/28/2026

There’s a moment right after someone asks you for something, before you answer. For a lot of people, that’s where the yes gets decided, based on what a no might cost. 🍃

If your calendar is full of things you agreed to so nobody would be upset, there’s usually a reason. Saying yes has probably kept things smooth for a long time.

🪴 Buy yourself time: “Let me check and get back to you.”
🪴 Ask yourself what you’d say if their reaction didn’t factor in
🪴 Notice which people you find it hardest to say no to
🪴 Try one small no this week and see what actually happens

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10/27/2026

Happy Relationship Tip Tuesday! 🫶🏼

Halloween week is the right time to talk about what is actually spooky in relationships. Nothing here makes you a bad partner. These patterns show up in loving couples who are tired, and each one has a way through. 🍂

🪴 Need turning into an attack: start with the feeling and the request. “I miss you tonight. Could we take 20 minutes together?” says more than “You’re always on your phone.”
🪴 Defensiveness when your partner is vulnerable: pause and say, “Thank you for telling me.” You can share your side after they feel heard.
🪴 Expecting your partner to read your mind: say the need out loud, even when it feels like they should already know.
🪴 “If they cared, they would”: swap it for a direct ask. Caring and mind reading are separate skills.
🪴 Putting your partner’s needs so far ahead that yours disappear: add your own need to the next conversation. Your needs are part of the relationship too.

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10/26/2026

There are relationships we miss because we miss the person.

And there are relationships we miss because we miss the life, routine, familiarity, or version of ourselves that came with them.

Those aren’t always the same thing.
And missing someone isn’t necessarily a sign that you need to do something about it. 🤍

Save this if you’re going through a breakup and needed this reminder 📌

10/25/2026

Sometimes finding your way through starts with letting someone in. 🤍

🪴 Sometimes that means letting a friend know you’re not doing as well as you’ve been saying.
🪴 Sometimes it means telling your partner what’s really going on instead of saying “I’m fine.”
🪴 Sometimes it means letting family see a part of you that you usually keep to yourself.
🪴 And sometimes, it means having a therapist sit with you in the things that feel harder to share with the people you love.

Being known can feel vulnerable. But connection often starts when we let ourselves be seen a little more honestly.
You don’t have to carry everything on your own. 🫶🏼

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10/24/2026

Some arguments end. Some of them just stop. 🍂

Someone walks out of the room. Someone apologizes to make it quiet. The kids need something. The evening moves on and neither of you ever brings it up again, and it goes into the pile.

The pile is why a five minute disagreement about the dishwasher can suddenly cost you an entire weekend. You are not fighting about the dishwasher. You are fighting about the eleven previous times something like this happened and nobody ever came back to it.

Gottman Method calls the repair work processing the aftermath, and the timing is what makes it possible. You do it when you are both calm, days or even years later, with no attempt to establish who was right.

How to actually do it:

🪴 Each of you says what you felt during it. Feelings only. No reasons, no evidence, no rebuttal from the other person.
🪴 Each of you says what you thought was happening at the time. Almost always there are two completely different accounts and neither of you knew.
🪴 Look for what got triggered. Most disproportionate reactions have history behind them, and often your partner has never heard that history.
🪴 Each of you takes one piece of responsibility. One. Specific.
🪴 Say what you would each do differently next time. Then stop. Do not run the fight again from the top.

You can repair something from two years ago. Most couples never find out that is true, because raising it feels like starting it up again. Done in a calm moment with structure, it does the opposite.
Our therapists at Tri Lotus Psychotherapy offer couples therapy in person in SW Calgary and virtually across Alberta. Book a free 20-minute phone consult or your first appointment at the link in bio ☝️

10/22/2026

The strategies that carried you through your twenties are not required to work forever 🌊

Life transitions have a way of exposing the limits of whatever you have been running on. New role, new baby, new diagnosis, new grief. The effort stays the same and the results stop matching it.

What helps:

🪴 Name the transition out loud, since burnout is easier to work with once it has a cause
🪴 Audit what you are still doing purely out of habit
🪴 Notice the moments of steadiness you already have, however brief
🪴 Get support before the collapse rather than after it

Rhylee specializes in working with those going through a life transition and the grief, identity shifts, anxiety, and stress that may come with it. Book a free 20-minute phone consult or your first appointment at the link in bio ☝️

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Address

7370 Sierra Morena Boulevard SW Suite #102
Calgary, AB
T3H4H9

Opening Hours

Monday	9am - 7pm
Tuesday	8am - 8pm
Wednesday	8am - 9pm
Thursday	8am - 9pm
Friday	11:30am - 7pm
Saturday	9am - 3pm
Sunday	11am - 4pm

Telephone

+15877412289

Website

http://www.trilotustherapy.com/, https://www.trilotustherapy.com/free-20-minute-consult, https://trilotuspsych.janeapp.c

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