06/05/2026
The Tough Conversation about Pregnancy and Infant Loss
For many people, pregnancy is a joyful and exciting time. From the moment those two pink lines appear to the day they finally hold their little one in their arms, families dream about baby names, nursery colours, and the future ahead.
What people often don’t talk about is the heartbreaking reality that sometimes a beautiful little soul enters this world sleeping. When pregnancy or infant loss happens, families are suddenly faced with overwhelming grief, unanswered questions, and emotions that can feel impossible to navigate.
How does a couple or family cope with this kind of loss? What resources are available to support them? And how can friends and loved ones help during such a difficult time?
This article is meant to provide insight into pregnancy and infant loss, share local grief resources and options that families may not realize are available to them, and most importantly, remind grieving families that they are not alone in their journey through grief.
In Ontario, up to 1 in 4 pregnancies end in loss, with many occurring during the first trimester. Ontario Health has shared that families experiencing early pregnancy loss have often reported feeling unsupported and misunderstood. Some have expressed that they experienced a lack of kindness, compassion, and sensitivity during their care, particularly when compared to families whose losses occurred later in pregnancy.
While this reflects experiences across Ontario as a whole, the Chatham-Kent Health Alliance offers support through the PAIL (Pregnancy and Infant Loss) program. This program provides compassionate care and grief support through one-on-one support, in-person services, and online resources. PAIL also offers guidance for friends and family members who want to better support their loved ones through loss.
When an unborn baby reaches 20 weeks' gestation or weighs more than 500 grams, they are legally considered stillborn and must be registered with the government. In these situations, families are required to arrange burial or cremation services.
But what happens when a loss occurs earlier in pregnancy, before 20 weeks or under 500 grams? Many families are unaware that they still have options and choices in how they honour and remember their baby.
When a loss occurs, staff at the Chatham-Kent Health Alliance are available to provide guidance, answer difficult questions, and help families understand their next steps. Families may choose to contact a funeral home to arrange burial or cremation services, bring their baby home to memorialize them in a personal way when they feel ready (they must be under 500g or under 20 weeks and considered a product of conception), or choose burial at the Garden to the Unborn.
You may be wondering: what is the Garden to the Unborn?
In the early 2000’s the Chatham-Kent Health Alliance and Maple Leaf Cemetery partnered with McKinlay Funeral Home and later with the Chatham-Kent Hospice to create a meaningful resting place for families experiencing pregnancy and infant loss. Each organization plays a special role in supporting grieving families during this incredibly difficult time.
The hospital lovingly cares for the babies until the service. McKinlay Funeral Home donates a casket and coordinates the event while The Chatham-Kent Hospice provides someone to conduct a compassionate service. Maple Leaf Cemetery generously donates a burial plot, creating a peaceful place where these little souls can rest and where families can visit, remember, and grieve. There are also volunteers that tend to the garden throughout the year.
Many parents and families may feel isolated, misunderstood or unsure of what to do next. Supporting someone through this grief can be done through simple acts of kindness, such as bringing meals , helping with household tasks or offering to care for their other children can help grieving parents have space to process their emotions and care for themselves. Remember everyone grieves differently, some expressing emotions openly while others may grieve quietly. Understanding grief responses can help loved ones identify when professional support might be beneficial. Ultimately, grieving families require compassion, patience, and reassurance that they are not alone in their journey.
Grief after pregnancy or infant loss does not follow a timeline, and healing looks different for every family, it is important to remember that the love for these little lives never fades. Whether through support groups, loved ones, quiet moments of remembrance, or simply allowing yourself space to grieve, no one should have to walk this journey alone. Compassion, understanding, and kindness can make all the difference for families carrying the weight of such a profound loss.
Please connect with us for a full list of resources and a diagram of normal grief response.
