Alleviate Massage Therapy & Wellness

06/06/2026

Why Does Disrespect Hurt So Much?

One of the most thought-provoking ideas I recently learned from the work of Bradley Fletcher and Team Fletcher is that people who have experienced complex trauma often become highly sensitive to disrespect and criticism.

At first glance, this can seem confusing. Why would a simple disagreement, correction, boundary, or comment trigger such a strong emotional reaction?

The answer may have less to do with the present moment and more to do with what happened in the past.

For many people, complex trauma develops in environments where they repeatedly felt dismissed, ignored, criticized, compared to others, mocked, blamed, rejected, or made to feel unimportant. Over time, these experiences send a powerful message: You don't matter. Your feelings don't matter. Your needs don't matter.

Eventually, that message becomes internalized.

As adults, they may begin to expect disrespect even when it is not there.

A respectful boundary may feel like rejection.

Someone saying "no" may feel like being devalued.

Constructive feedback, or disagreement feel like a criticism.

A different opinion or perspective may feel like a "personal attack".

The emotional reaction often seems larger than the situation because the current event is touching much older wounds.

Over time, this can create a dangerous pattern. If every disagreement feels like criticism, every boundary feels like rejection, and every piece of feedback feels like an attack, a person may become increasingly defensive and unable to tolerate being challenged.

To protect themselves from the pain of shame, they may start believing that anyone who disagrees with them is against them. They may expect complete loyalty, become resistant to feedback, struggle to admit mistakes, or view differing opinions as personal attacks.

In some cases, these protective strategies can evolve into narcissistic traits or distorted ways of thinking. The person's focus shifts from understanding reality to protecting themselves from feeling flawed, rejected, or inadequate. Unfortunately, while these defenses may reduce emotional pain in the short term, they often create conflict, damaged relationships, and greater isolation over time.

What makes this especially difficult is that people can begin reading disrespect into situations where none was intended. A person may be trying to communicate honestly, set a healthy boundary, or offer helpful feedback, but it is experienced as an attack.

The result can be intense defensiveness, anger, withdrawal, or conflict in relationships.

Another point that stood out to me was Fletcher's description of parents being a child's "rock."

I think this idea is often misunderstood.

Being a rock is not simply being physically present. It is not just providing food, shelter, clothing, or financial support.

A parent can call every day, spend time with their child regularly, and still not provide emotional safety.

A true emotional rock is someone who listens, validates, guides, protects, teaches emotional skills (Self-awareness, self-compassion, social awareness, emotional regulation, emotionalmaturity, empathy, communication and relationship skills etc;), and creates a relationship where a child feels safe being themselves.

A rock helps a child make sense of their emotions rather than dismissing them.

A rock offers support during failure rather than shame.

A rock creates an environment where a child can be honest without constantly fearing criticism, ridicule, guilt, shame, abandonment or rejection.

One question worth considering is:

Did you feel safe telling your parent the truth about your feelings, mistakes, fears, and struggles without expecting judgment, criticism, guilt or shame?

If the answer is no, then physical presence may have existed, but emotional safety may have been missing.

When children grow up without that secure emotional foundation, they often enter adulthood expecting criticism, anticipating rejection, and becoming highly alert to signs of disrespect.

Understanding this doesn't excuse harmful reactions, but it can help explain why certain words, situations, or interactions can feel so painful.

Sometimes what looks like an overreaction is actually an old wound being touched.

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05/16/2026

This video healed something in me.

A little girl was playing with another little girl. They were laughing, holding hands, enjoying each other’s company, until another child entered the situation and suddenly everything changed. The girl who had just been so warm and loving walked away from her, leaving her confused and heartbroken.

What impacted me most was not the rejection itself, but the way the mother responded.

She didn’t force the other children to include her daughter. She calmly walked over and said:
“We don’t stay where we don’t feel welcome.”

That alone was powerful.

But what she did afterward honestly felt life-changing to watch.

She removed her daughter from an emotionally unsafe situation, helped her regulate her emotions, reassured her that it wasn’t her fault, and then asked her to name two friends she genuinely enjoyed being around.

Then she asked:
“What do you like about them?”

She was teaching her daughter how to recognize what safe, loving, supportive relationships actually feel like.

That is such an incredible parenting gift.

Instead of teaching her daughter to chase rejection, overperform for acceptance, or abandon herself to keep relationships, she taught her:
There are people who will naturally love, appreciate, and enjoy being around you.

And later in the video, her daughter found another group of children who were genuinely excited to play with her.

I think a lot of adults still struggle with this lesson.

As a darker-skinned Asian girl growing up, I spent so much of my childhood trying to be loved, accepted, and chosen. I became a people-pleaser. I learned to overextend myself, self-sacrifice, and self-betray just to feel like I belonged somewhere.

And when people became distant, cold, passive, or rejecting, I blamed myself for it.

I kept swimming against the current, hoping that if I tried harder, gave more, changed more, or became “better,” maybe I would finally be enough.

But one of the hardest and most important lessons I’ve learned is this:

I do not have to perform to be loved.

Healthy relationships are not one-sided. It takes two people to build and maintain a relationship. Whether it’s friendship, family, coworkers, classmates, or romantic relationships, mutual care matters.

And just because one relationship does not work does not mean there is something fundamentally wrong with you.

I think many adults stay trapped in painful dynamics because somewhere deep down, they still carry the childhood belief:
“If someone rejects me, it must mean I’m not good enough.”

So they stay.
They overgive.
They tolerate emotional unsafety.
They stop believing they can find new connections, new friendships, new communities.

But we can.

There are people who will communicate with you clearly.
People who will make you feel emotionally safe.
People who will choose you consistently without making you earn your worth through confusion and self-abandonment.

And if I no longer feel safe, respected, or welcome somewhere, I leave.

Not out of anger.
Not out of bitterness.
But out of self-respect.

My time, energy, love, and presence are precious. I would rather invest them into relationships where I can be my authentic self instead of shrinking myself just to stay connected.

I think a lot of us needed someone to place a hand on our heart when we were younger and remind us:
“It’s not your fault.”

So maybe this post is that reminder for someone else today. (Neufville, 2026)

05/09/2026

Watching Antoni Dvorski grow over the years has been such a privilege.

I first met Toni when he was 11 years old, and as his RMT, I’ve had the opportunity to witness not only his athletic growth, but the strength of his character and mindset.

What has always stood out to me is how grounded and certain he is in himself.

At such a young age, Toni knew what he wanted. He carried a level of determination, focus, and self-worth that is honestly rare to see, even in adults. The early mornings, waking up at 4 or 5 AM, attending school, training, recovery, competition, and pressure. None of it happened by accident. It came from discipline, sacrifice, and a deep belief in where he wanted to go.

This industry and level of competition can be incredibly tough and cutthroat. There are always outside voices, opinions, pressures, and people trying to influence the direction of your journey. What impressed me most over the years was watching how steady and unwavering Toni remained in doing what was best for himself and his future.

That kind of self-awareness is a gift.

He trusted his instincts. He stayed focused on his goals. He continued showing up for himself over and over again, even when the path was difficult.

I’ve learned so much from witnessing that.

Today, we are celebrating an incredible milestone in Toni’s journey: being accepted to play with the Vancouver Whitecaps FC youth system, one of Canada’s top professional soccer organizations. The club competes in Major League Soccer, the highest level of professional soccer in North America, and this opportunity reflects years of dedication, sacrifice, and hard work.

Seeing this next chapter unfold and hearing this incredible news brought tears to my eyes because I know how much work, patience, and perseverance went into this moment.

Toni, I'm so happy for you.

Thank you for allowing me the privilege of being part of your journey over these years. Supporting people through important chapters of their lives is one of the greatest gifts of this work, and moments like this remind me exactly why I love what I do.

We're all cheering you on for what comes next. This is only the beginning.

04/12/2026

Exciting update for PARS for SCARS Golf Tournament ⛳

The event has been rescheduled to September 10, 2026, and honestly… this might be even better. July is always so busy, so I’m really hoping this new date opens things up for more of us to join!

For anyone who showed interest from my last SAVE THE DATE post, I’d LOVE to get a group together. We had a foursome last year and had such a fun day. Everything was so well organized by White Knight Construction, tons of games, prizes, and just an overall great vibe. Plus, good food and even better company.

And the best part… the dogs SCARS (Second Chance Animal Rescue Society) brings adoptable puppies and senior dogs, so you actually get to spend time with them throughout the day. It’s such a special experience, whether you just want some puppy love or you’re thinking about adopting. There were dogs everywhere last year and it made the whole event even more heartwarming.

This is White Knight Construction’s annual tournament, and they open it up for others to join in. Their team is full of personality and makes the whole day feel fun and relaxed. Plus, all proceeds go toward supporting rescue animals and their medical care, which makes it even more meaningful.

Details: • 📍 The Links at Spruce Grove

• ⏰ 9AM shotgun start (breakfast at 8AM)
• $200 early bird (until May 15)
• $225 after May 16

If you’re interested, send me a DM!

It would mean a lot to support such a great cause while spending a fun day together. I’m really looking forward to this one!
Let me know if you’re in! 🐶

03/24/2026

A while back, a friend asked me to help plan part of her trip to Asia. She went with her roommate, and when they returned, they hosted me for dinner. That’s how I met the roommate.

During dinner, the roommate started talking about another friend I’d never met. On the surface, she praised her as a neurosurgeon, but then added comments that made her seem less capable. I thought, why are we talking about this person? I don’t know her, she’s not here, and it felt uncomfortable.

Later, I met this friend in person. She’s strong-minded, independent, and has clear emotional boundaries. Her authenticity and confidence reflected my own insecurities. She’s sharp, genuine, and funny. That’s why I don’t take someone else’s word for it. I meet people for myself.

Personally, this isn’t about never venting. Sharing frustration is natural and human. What matters is the intention behind it. Speaking about someone in a way that diminishes them, especially someone you don’t know, or using a client’s time to excessively unload personal information when the relationship isn’t at that level, can be a boundary violation.

As a massage therapist, I see this sometimes. Clients sometimes ask about others, trying to get second-hand information. Information is power. As health professionals, we need to be mindful of our clients’ personal information because someone manipulative could use it in ways that affect their lives. It’s important to honor boundaries, redirect conversations, and protect confidentiality. You don’t have to join every conversation or share what isn’t yours.

I also see this in family. My mom sometimes talks down about my sister or asks about my husband in ways that feel controlling. I set gentle boundaries. I tell her, “I’m here to spend time with you. If you want to check in with him, you’ll need to do that directly.”

Triangulation signals energy and trust dynamics. Life is short, and I want relationships where people show up authentically. I trust my inner “bouncer.” If something feels off, I step back. It protects my energy and creates space for honest, supportive connections.

03/23/2026

Finally found "the next book!"

There’s something really special about finding your people… and today, I did.

I went to Seedy Sunday here in Edmonton and honestly, it felt like walking into a community of kindred spirits. Gardeners, soil lovers, nature nerds, people who care deeply about ecosystems, sustainability, and the land we live on. It was grounding, inspiring, and just so full of heart.

One of the highlights was meeting local author Michelle Harris. I stopped by her booth and instantly felt how much passion she brings to her work. As someone who runs a little free library and cares deeply about building community, this felt so aligned.

Her book, Explore the Green Sides of Edmonton, is incredible. It’s not just a guide, it’s a whole experience. She covers everything from hidden natural gems, gardens, and seasonal events to Indigenous connections, sustainability, eco-anxiety, and even pathways into environmental careers. It’s thoughtful, practical, and deeply rooted in love for this city and the environment.

You can feel that this isn’t just her work… it’s her life.

If you love Edmonton, nature, or just want to feel more connected to the world around you, I highly recommend checking out her book. You can find it on Amazon or Audible.

So grateful for moments like this… meeting passionate people, sharing ideas, and remembering how beautiful it is to care.

03/10/2026

This gave me a lot of clarity about something I have struggled with for years: the difference between authenticity and narcissism.

Every time I advocate for my needs or set a boundary, a part of me starts questioning myself. Am I being selfish? Am I being difficult? Am I the problem?

I have had situations where people come into my home as guests but expect to control how things are done in my own space. I have had people challenge boundaries I set, question my decisions, stonewalling, when they are told no.

I have had moments where I protected my time, my energy, or my plans, and afterwards wondered if I had somehow hurt people or let them down.

What this video explains so clearly is how thin and misunderstood the line between authenticity and narcissism can be, and how the real difference often comes down to consent and respect for others.

Because the line can feel so thin, I have caught myself questioning it many times. I have genuinely asked myself, “Am I being authentic, or am I being a narcissist for advocating for my own needs?” I have searched online many times trying to understand the difference. Most of the answers I came across were some version of: “If you have to ask yourself whether you are a narcissist, you probably are not.” While that might be comforting, it never really gave me the clarity I was looking for. This video explained the dynamic in a way that finally made it make sense.

Authenticity means being honest with yourself, honoring your needs, and making choices that are aligned with your values. You can still care deeply about others and respect them while also respecting yourself.

Narcissistic behavior, on the other hand, often shows up as entitlement, control, lack of accountability, and an inability to respect other people's boundaries. When boundaries are set, the response is often deflection, minimizing, silent treatment or gaslighting.

That difference was something I struggled to articulate for a long time. When you are surrounded by people who constantly challenge your boundaries, and disrespect you it can make you start questioning your own reality.

This video helped me realize that setting boundaries, protecting your energy, and saying no does not make you selfish. Sometimes it simply means you are learning to trust and respect yourself.

And that clarity felt incredibly freeing.

01/21/2026

The speaker explains that guilt is often misunderstood as evidence that someone has done something morally wrong (like cheating on someone, committed a crime, or stealing). However, in many clients; especially those raised by narcissistic or controlling parents or in similar relationships, guilt shows up even when no wrongdoing occurred. Through examples like not wanting to attend Thanksgiving, the therapist repeatedly asks, “What exactly did you do wrong?” to reveal the underlying conditioning. The realization is that these individuals were trained to believe that not meeting another person’s expectations or demands is wrong. This conditioning creates chronic guilt and makes authenticity difficult, because honoring one’s own needs and desires triggers a learned emotional response. The guilt itself is not evidence of wrongdoing, but a conditioned response that functions as manipulation, keeping the person disconnected from their authentic self.

12/27/2025

I picked up The Hidden Life of Trees at the Kananaskis Village store during a quiet weekend away in the mountains. A weekend dedicated not to doing, but to resting.

There was something poetic about that moment.
My name, Sriprai, means "sacred or blessed, forest."
And it felt like an invitation to listen more deeply.
One line in the very first chapter caught my attention:

“A tree is not a forest.”

That sentence carries so much truth.
A single tree can be strong, rooted, and resilien, but it cannot thrive in isolation. A forest exists because of connection. Trees communicate, share nutrients, protect one another, and grow together through unseen networks beneath the soil.

It reminded me how healing works too.
We are not meant to carry everything alone. Rest, support, community, and connection are not luxuries, they are necessities. Just like trees, we flourish when we are held within something larger than ourselves.

This book feels like a gentle teacher. Quiet. Wise. Grounding.

And right now, that’s exactly what I need.
I’m challenging myself to rest more, read more, and choose what nourishes me, with the intention of finishing 7 books I truly love before the New Year. Not for productivity. Not to rush. But to be present.

Sometimes, the most meaningful growth happens when we slow down enough to notice the forest, not just the tree. 🌲

12/27/2025

The Psychology of Money was recommended by my accountant, and I finally picked it up this holiday season, what a treasure!

So many powerful stories, simple lessons, and gentle reminders about how much of money is actually about behavior, emotions, and patience.

This is my third book during my time off (clearly in a reflective season). I also started The Alchemist and The Courage to Be Disliked… couldn’t quite get into them yet. Maybe I’ll come back in a few weeks, books meet us when we’re ready 😉

Grateful for quiet time, good books, and learning without pressure - proof that the best gifts aren’t always wrapped. ❤️