Way Forward Counselling

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08/21/2025

As a parent, dropping your child off at university can be a moment of immense pride - and unexpected grief and anxiety.

You've raised them to be independent and to succeed... But no one prepared you for the quiet and emptiness that follows.

Whatever you're feeling... It's valid. Change is hard. In these tough moments rest assured... a new normal will emerge, and it will be good.

You're letting go, because you've done something right.

, 💚

09/02/2024

This is my 12th year supporting 4 children through the highs and lows of back-to-school. Though I have yearly photos documenting happy kids posing in first-day-of-school outfits, I'd be remiss if I didn't admit that the following days of September (not documented) were exhausting, bumpy and emotionally demanding. I'd commiserate with friends during the back-to-school period, and we all admitted it felt like HELL! The kids would arrive home from school hot little messes. Typically they'd report "schools good", "I like my class" and "yes, I have friends", yet they were quick to tears, irritable, having trouble keeping up with everyday household expectations, and tired, tired, tired! It was exhausting. I'd think "why is this so hard!?" and "what am I doing wrong!?"

I eventually learned that back-to-school is not a single day, one-and-done, situation that you can check off a list. Back to school is rather a 3-4 (5 or 6?) week process, of adjusting to new environments, new expectations, new social dynamics, new teacher demands. It's like starting a new job, over and over again 12 years in a row!

We can all relate to starting a new job, yes? It's exhausting! There's a steep learning curve. It's anxiety producing. Worries about the next day can keep you up at night. It can feel overwhelming trying to connect with new colleagues, learning the policies and procedures, as well as social norms and expectations.... It's a lot! We can all attest, that starting a new job is not a one and done deal. It's a process. It's exhausting. It's overwhelming. It can be messy and disruptive. It takes time.

If you find yourself in back-to-school hell this year, remember:
1. You're not alone. Millions of parents around the world are in hell with you. Talk to friends and family who can relate and provide support.
2. Your kids have started a new job, they are navigating a lot. New "jobs" are daunting and exhausting. See things from their perspective, and validate their big emotions.
3. Your kids are doing the best they can.
4. This will not last forever.

02/29/2024

If your child has been diagnosed with ADHD or you suspect they might meet criteria for an ADHD diagnosis, these books are a great place to start.

Find them at your local bookstore, or on Amazon.

02/28/2024

Parenting is hard enough without holding on to yesterday's shame and guilt. You will make mistakes. Accept that you didn't nail it yesterday. Forgive yourself. Let it go. Now figure out how you're going to do better today and tomorrow.

02/25/2024

My kid makes careless mistakes, they can't seem to focus, never listen, they're so disorganized, forgetful, and lose stuff all the time... I'm going crazy! My kid won't stop fidgeting, won't stay still, talks incessantly, interrupts, never waits their turn... It's exhausting and embarrassing!

If you're concerned (anxious maybe) about your child's behaviour, development, learning and/or mental health listen to your gut. We feel anxious as parents/caregivers when we perceive possible upcoming danger, harm or adverse events for our children. This feeling helps motivate us to check out the facts, problem solve, and seek help.

If you're noticing behaviours that might be consistent with ADHD, be proactive. You can:
1. Make a list of the concerning behaviors. What are you noticing at home. Be specific.
2. Review your child's report cards. Are behaviors affecting school performance or socializing? Make a list.
3. Talk to the people who are with your child the most. This includes teachers and after school caregivers. What are they noticing? Make a list.
4. Book an appointment with your child's family doctor. Bring your concerns with you.
5. Work collaboratively with your family health team, to understand and solve the concern at hand.

And breathe. It's going to be ok.

wayforwardcounselling.net

02/24/2024

Parenting and caregiving is a tough gig. If you're having a difficult parenting moment, and you're thinking "why is my kid so bad!?" Stop. Freeze. Breathe. Walk away for a minute, if you need to.

Now repeat: "My kid's not bad. They're just learning"

I'm not sure what a bad kid even is, let alone how to start "fixing" a "bad" kid. I do know how to teach new behavior. Next time you think you've got a bad egg, remember "they're just learning" and then teach them.

If you need help developing more effective parenting skills I can help.

wayforwardcounselling.net

02/04/2024

Quitting any substance use, can feel impossible. If you live in Ontario, Canada wants to help make that easier. If you (or someone you know) are struggling with ni****ne addiction, there's free help with the Smoking Treatment for Ontario Patients (STOP) program.

For more information see:
www.ni****nedependenceclinic.com

There's always a Way Forward.

If you need mental health support and therapy:
www.wayforwardcounselling.net

****neaddiction ****newithdrawal

01/18/2024

"Get off your screen!" "All you wanna do is play [insert name of annoying game of choice] all day!" "You're addicted!" "I'm going to give your [insert name of gaming device] away!"

Sound familiar? You're not alone.

Helping youth to establish healthy limits and balanced screen/gaming time, can be a daunting and head banging task! They want one thing, we want another. They push. We pull. Round and round we go. It's exhausting! Eventually, we give in or give up. That is, until the next round of parent vs kid. It doesn't have to be this way.

Check out these 4 steps to turn things around.

1. Remember your kid is NOT the problem. Their behavior is the problem.
2. Validate their good reasons for wanting to game before you start problem solving. Let them know you get it, and you can appreciate why gaming/screen time is so important to them.
3. Collaborate and problem-solve together. If they are on board with the plan, the plan is more likely to work.
4. Instead of using screen time or gaming as a punishment, use it as a motivator. Ex. After you do *xyz* you can play your game.
5. Reinforce ANY and ALL non-gaming behavior. Look for times when your youth is not on screens, and respond with: Praise, attention, high-five. Ex. "I love seeing you draw". "I'm so happy you're playing a board game with us."
6. Make non-gaming time pleasant. If you notice your youth off screens, avoid using this as an opportunity to pile on unpleasant tasks such as chores, homework etc. If non-gaming time is always unpleasant, guess where they're going to go? Back to gaming.

Be consistent. Be persistent. Don't give up. Your kid is worth it.

wayforwardcounselling.net

01/17/2024

Parenting a youth who is experiencing symptoms of anxiety or depression can feel overwhelming. This is especially true if you don't have the requisite knowledge and parenting skills to navigate these emotions, thoughts and behaviours effectively.

You don't have to do this alone. There's help available for you, and your child.

For more information www.wayforwardcounselling.net

01/07/2024

I couldn't love this t-shirt any more. A secret Santa gift from my 9 year old. So many questions. So. much. awesome.

I wore this shirt to a New Year's day brunch. It got some laughs, which led to a discussion about what the shirt actually meant. Half the group assumed it meant "It's gonna be a hard day today. I'm gonna need lots of coffee and Jesus to get me through". The other half assumed it meant "It's gonna be a wonderful day because I have coffee and Jesus!".

We all made assumptions that the way we were interpreting the message on the shirt was the right way. We were all very shocked (and amused) when we realized that we were all assuming different things. In this case there was no tension, just laughs. This isn't always the case, though, is it? Sometimes when interpretations and assumptions are made and go unexamined, we can find ourselves on opposite sides of a very tense game of tug-of-war.

As humans, our brains are always looking for efficiencies and shortcuts. This often leads to making quick judgments and assumptions. Sometimes this is helpful (that egg is bad *judgment* don't eat it!) but many times this unchallenged way of thinking can lead to thinking mistakes, dialectical tensions, and friction with the people we care about the most.

A great way to get out of this tension, is to actively look for alternative explanations, interpretations and assumptions when you find yourself in a "this vs that" or "I'm right and you're wrong" standoff. Intentionally look for other valid perspectives. You don't inherently have to take alternative perspectives, though sometimes you might, but what it does is help us to hold multiple views at once. It helps us to consider others' good reasons for taking the position they hold. Once we can see others'perspectives, we can validate their good reasons for holding that position... and then the magic can happen! Then we can start engaging in meaningful conversations and this is when change can happen.

wayforwardcounselling.net

Address

Hamilton, ON

Telephone

+12892749425

Website

http://wayforwardcounselling.net/

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