05/10/2026
I am going to leave this here…
As many have followed my life, my stories and my teachings of Cheanise’s niches to the niche nation you have seen my journey through this lense. Some know me as, that healer, The card reading lady, family abuse speaker, the social media medium or voodoo lady, the s**t disturber or the one who changed my life… but now you are seeing me as a mom.
My “why” for many years in this work has been about having those not feel alone in their life like I felt growing up. I wanted to understand why would parents do the things they do in their own lives… good, bad and ugly? What makes a person tick? What is a good child? What are good parents? Why do we keep up with the jones so much in rural communities? Why do I feel like this will never end? Why do people stay in s**tty or abusive relationships? How come so many people are unhappy? What does love even mean? Will I ever heal from this pain? Why did the ones who actually loved me, die? Why didn’t the adults do something about what was happening to us? Why could I not have funding for moving away unless I was an addict or pregnant under aged? These were a solid handful of my first whys to the work and journey I was on.
As time past, I had so much to see, witness, understand and learn about the whys I was seeking, hunting, chasing for answers…
The more I dug the more of my excuses and programming had been unraveling like a homemade knitted sweater. Loosing its looping pattern every step I got clarity or something to these “answers” I yearned for.
These past few years have been tough navigating this all to help share and make it make sense to more and more of you. Many of you I have crossed paths because of this and have been so thankful that you didn’t have to feel and be alone anymore! Some of you still curse my name or roll your eyes after the facts I would share. Some of you private message me saying ”I wanted to do something but I didn’t know how but now I do” or my favourites… “ you were right about what you said, I just didn’t want to hear/see it and believe that it is real… didn’t want you to be right”. These are my mixed bag of responses I get and some just still like to bash me up and down after they know the outcome can only change unless they do… it is alllllll your own experiences my friends.
I never planned for this to be my job, my life path or even my title. This was left and called for someone to listen and care for it. This was a prayer from ancestors of all times and nations waiting for someone to listen longer than just taking what we wanted for their stories. The deeper roots behind it all. Someone to dig deeper and speak clearer if the truth wasn’t the bigger takeaways!
I was not here to be right. Or even for that fact to know the things I know. Lots look at me wishing they had messages, channeling or the answers and drive the way I do. The reality this came with a deeper sacrifice and duty then even I understand it most days. I have chosen to be at the service and I am here for those who needed this, not for the naysayers or drama llamas in the pack!
Why out of all days, do I decide to write this on mother days?!?! I watched a video of a lady who lost a baby the same time we did and ironically both named him “Leo”… that has been feeling heavily on my heart since the day I had to say goodbye to our first child that didn’t make it earth side… is because after having messages sent all day saying happy first Mother’s day has finally cracked a layer in me that is done being silent… after posting our story on social media family asked us to stop sharing because there were too many questions and actions done from their own responses!
I am grateful for the love and support but not at the cost this society making women, families and communities unhealthy! Why you say? After finally delivering our first earth bound child, who was deemed 2 weeks late from original delivery date it’s been a CONSTANT society commentary since his birth!
Did you had him natural? What was your birth plan? Are you breastfeeding? Did you take your vitamins? Did you do this before pregnancy? Oh why did you do it this way? Oh that’s not what I did? Kiss your relationship goodbye… Get the sleep you can cause you will never sleep again? You want how many kids? What is your sleeping ideas? Did you plan kids this late in life? You will be cleared after 6 weeks and you will be good to get back to normal. Oh see how it is now being a mom… or you will only get it when you are one… Wait till postpartum hits you hard! Oh wow why are you doing this after you have a baby?! You are sitting too much? Why you not resting more? What did you eat? Why did you eat that?
AND THE LIST GOES ON AND ON!
I am done…
On the topping of the day today is hubby forgetting its Mother’s Day lol we have been flat out getting our life goals done yet trying to be normal for society based holidays…
I am and will always be a MEANINGFULLY PERSON. So I wanted to finally crack out of the shell of silence I have been trying to duck tape myself with because it was pushing everyone’s buttons and comfort levels with my past posts, statements and teachings. I don’t preach on my soap box and not do the actions to follow what I tell others to have courage to do. My pregnancies have not been anything I thought or hoped for… never thought it would rip my family apart… never felt so sad and peaceful all in the same seconds… never thought I would not be in so much glee for bringing life to this world… never thought I would be battling addictions and boundaries for family’s to see and understand the deeper root to our why!
For my life I have been a nurturing and mothering person to siblings, to friends as it was written in allllllllll of my report cards that Cheanise is quiet the mother hen of the class, neighbours, children and coworkers. Been it my whole life. But half of my life I dedicated my work and learning to understanding the true essentials and essence of motherhood, Mother Nature and a woman’s rights of passage.
I have held hands of other mothers who didn’t have the chance to bring babies earth side, who didn’t want children of their own, who have had their bodies tell them no or no more kids, who lost their life and left their children behind too early, those who hate being mom because they feel trapped, those who beg silently everyday with tear stained pillows when they lay their head to rest, to those holding a stillborn child and never feeling the same way again, to those who never told anyone about their choice of termination…
Thousands of conversations I have had in this lifetime so far and more daily to happen. I do believe and have the tools for support for those who have had or having a rollercoaster experience with motherhood. I myself did all the research, groups, reviews, interviews, courses and more to be as ready for my own personal journey as a mom.
Now as a MOM I did experience miscarriages, c section, health issues from childhood trauma limiting my ability to mother, making choices to not breastfeed after a period of time to prepare me for surgery, a healthy pregnancy, nervousness to celebrate our child during pregnancy, family blowups, setting boundaries, relationship check points, loneliness, heartache, childhood grief after being a parent wondering how my parents and grandparents and community showed up for me, independence to being completely dependent on my partner after birth, hate for my body not being able to birth naturally, judged on my birth plan wishes, fighting in hospital for your own wants and expressing that wish to family, changing our last names for the soul purpose of being the best example to our future generations. And a laundry list more.
Yes we all make CHOICES!
I would love that the world do one hell of a better job for supporting moms and families! Also the men too! Let’s just be BETTER FOLKS!
I have never asked people to be PERFECT… but when I ask for people to rethink the way you speak, ask questions, hold conversations, reach out, comment on social media or gossip behind closed doors… DO BETTER!
Stop judging… do more supporting!
Ask better questions, with the right tone and intentions… How do you feel we can support you or how did you feel about this situation or decision or outcome? And if you do f**k up… do more than apologize….. REPAIR!!!! Show up better than how you did… don’t put your s**t ass wants ahead of who you hurt because you don’t want to be wrong or uncomfortable…
VS.
Ohhhh you didn’t do this or that? Oh you didn’t deliver naturally?!? You better be doing this then…
Oh you wanted this in birth plan?!
How come I wasn’t invited?!?
You know the phone goes two ways?!
Oh at least baby is healthy … but
Oh why did you choose that ?
Oh you know your sister/ sister in law/ cousin/ your brother/ I did…
Wait till you have kids…. Well now wait till they are older!!
Back in my days…
You know you just could have…
Please STOP.
Just because your motherhood journey or lack of didn’t support you doesn’t mean you repeat what your mother in laws or mom did to you…
My heartfelt sympathy for YOU that was your journey but my journey is not your pushing bag or dumpster for your journeys shortfalls. I Love to have a space to hold your conversations and experiences when it’s not at my expense.
Some moms want big things, some want little things… some want push presents, some never heard of such a thing…
So I hope and ask for is be better and treat all the lovely women in your life much more kinder and better than what has been happening. We all have a journey and a story but not here to be painting lipstick on s**tty traditions and practices just cause it’s the way it is… stop that and do BETTER!
I am doing my best to treat this situation at hand with care but I am done silently holding poor outcomes over my head.
That’s never what I stood by or for… and I apologize that I left many of you without that support and truth when you all have been needing it too. I am here with you and will repair what was left silent because the whole soul purpose of my work and medicine is to get the ROOT so all can heal!!!
I see you women…
I thank you, all walks of motherhood…
Thank you birth moms for teaching us the journey we had ahead of us…
Blessing Mother Earth our truest Mother who holds us unconditionally! Thank for being the guiding love through this journey!
And yeah Happy Mother’s Day to you all who need to know you are loved and just want to know it within… I see you.
I have been wanting to reopen a space for mothers of all walks/young women on their path to motherhood/ empty nesters learning to mother themselves back and to host a mother me retreat that is pay what you can experience!
If interested you’re welcome to message me and I’ll send details to recreate this vision again! Message mother me or a🌻 and I’ll reach out!
Xoxo,
~C
