09/06/2026
Part II
A while back, maybe 2 years ago, I was with a group of women and I spoke, "I don't fully understand it, but I feel I am entering into a time of grief."
And yes, I have experienced a lot of loss these last couple of years. An abortion - my first pregancy. The death of my Grandfather. My marriage. Both of my family's dogs. Surrendering custody of my pup. And now my Fiadh.
At the beginning of this period of time I found a dead owl on the side of the road. I went home to get my drum and returned to bury her by the river where she lived. The message from that ceremony was the flipping of the coin, the turning of the wheel - life, death, life again. How close these two things exist with just a thin veil between them.
I think that this is when the portal of loss opened for me. Preparing me for what was to come.
Grief and love. Inextricable.
When something or someone dies, energy is not lost, but space is created for something new to be born.
The affection, laughter, comfort, and love that this kitty brought to my life has boistered me to keep going. Caring for her was such a joy. She came to me when I most needed her.
And in this moment of her leaving, I know I will be okay.
I am surrounded by such compassionate and supportive community. I have the unconditional love of my family. The best roommate and landlord. A workplace that doesn't want me to hide what I am going through.
And... a new love that has given me a family in this place I now call home. Family is always what was missing for me here in the Kootenays. I love you. And I am so grateful.
I feel that part of Fiadh's death, or the timing at least, is because I am on the verge of a new phase of my life and identity. One that will require immense expansion and space to grow.
Did she have to die? No.
Was it random? Maybe.
But she did die and I choose to enfold this truth into my path and purpose.
But oh... she will come with me. She is my angel now.
