Meristem Counselling Services

10/24/2023

One of the most important relationship strengths…

12/09/2021

Part of what I teach in my couple’s counselling practice:

by Marissa Pomerance We spend countless hours a day with the same person. And if we have to see them load the dishwasher KNIVES UP one more time we will spontaneously combust. It almost doesn’t matter that they’re actually loading the dishwasher in a way they feel is right, because so much of

01/18/2021

For many, the Christmas season last year might have been the toughest yet for obvious and not-so-obvious reasons. But January, say hello to January! The first month of the year has always been one of the most difficult months. Now add pandemic restrictions to the mix and you have a perfect storm. Together with the post-Christmas emotional and physical crash, less sunlight and sad weather (which may cause seasonal depression), did you know that January is the number one month for divorce filings?

I get it, it's totally understandable if you are feeling anxious and in a state of low mood. Current circumstances definitely have a significant impact on our mental health.

For those who live with anxiety, the very act of reaching out for help is stressful. Recent statistics show that only about 3 in 10 people with anxiety ever seek help. It's a deeply concerning reality for me in particular, because every day I see people who waited much too long to talk to a professional. But, the good news is relief and healing is possible. And I am happy to help you on this journey.

No matter your age, I can give you insights, recommendations and resources to help you better understand and navigate anxiety in your own life, in your marriage, and as a parent, especially with your teens. Call me today at 416-436-3470 for a quick chat about what talk therapy is all about.

01/17/2021

Numb - how many teens are feeling during this pandemic. Watch this short film by a teen. If you know someone struggling like this, encourage them to seek help. Meristem Counselling Services in Oakville can help, in-person or virtually.

Filmmaker Sarah Polley called it the "best film I've seen in a long time."

06/04/2020

OUR COMMITTMENT
In light of the current social climate, it is important to use our voice to stand for what is right. We, at Meristem Counselling Services, condemn racism, bigotry and oppression in any form. We are deeply saddened and grieve for, more recently, George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and all the many others who have been the victims of senseless violence because of the colour of their skin. We stand in solidarity with individuals facing systemic injustice and those who have joined them in protest.

As our society struggles to understand the heartbreaking and frightening events that have unfolded in Philadelphia over the past week, and systematically throughout our nation’s history, we hope that we can contribute in some way, even if it is simply awareness and education, toward positive change in the inequality and hardship faced by persons impacted by racism. We are dedicated to helping individuals from all racial, religious and socioeconomic backgrounds heal and lead meaningful lives.

We strive to be aware of our own role in injustice and ingrained biases and prejudices that may hinder our therapeutic work with clients. We continue to be committed to being a part of the solution and providing equal access to counselling services to everyone.

With this forever in mind, we believe that we can help shape our world to be a more kind, tolerant and accepting place - one person at a time.

02/04/2020

HOW CAN I BE A GREAT STEPPARENT?
Is it just me, or are stepfamilies becoming more and more prevalent? Creating a healthy stepfamily can be challenging, but it’s not impossible. If you have children from a previous relationship and you’re considering a relationship with another special someone with kids, there are a few things you may want to consider to help ease the transition.

First, sit down and discuss your expectations as it relates to topics like buying a house together, purchasing a car, date night, soccer practices and many other things. It’s better to have an idea of what you think it should look like, but adaptability is key.

How will you handle discipline? Is it okay for the stepparent to discipline their spouse’s child? Trust me, it is often more assuring to kids (and their other parent) if their own biological parent disciplines them.

What about bonding with the kids? The bond stepparents have with their stepchild is immensely important for healthy and stable stepfamilies. You both should be able to talk about each child and feel that you are heard, but when it comes to children, consider the fact that marrying their parent is a BIG deal. Remember that you aren’t there to replace their father or mother, so focus on encouraging and building your own relationships with the children, and do whatever it takes to accomplish this.

What about holidays? Taking into account that the kids will spend time with both biological parents during the holidays, work to create new traditions and ask for the kids’ input for making the transitions a little easier. When the biological parents talk directly and make arrangements ahead of time, it can lessen confusion. Encourage family meetings so all the children feel equally heard and valued during the process.

Although blending families is no easy task, discussing things like these ahead of time can help everyone prepare well for the journey ahead. And remember, it's not a science. Be kind to yourself, mistakes will happen, but it's how you repair that will make the difference.

01/12/2020

Do you know any teen who is struggling with social anxiety? This may be their chance to build social confidence:

10/03/2019

TRY THIS...
I read a blog recently about a vital communication skill called active listening. Therapist, Jennifer Jill Schwirzer, said that "being heard and understood soothes the soul". This is so true. I would go as far as saying that it feels freeing and fulfilling. It creates a sense of connection and confirmation of who we are - our sense of self. We derive strength, value and hope from someone really listening to us. We feel like we belong and exist and are worthy of attention. This is powerful!

Give it a try, really listen to someone by dropping whatever you are doing, looking at them straight in the eye with interest and concern, and reflecting back what you heard. You might be surprised at how effective and bonding this skill can be. You'll be on your way to becoming a master communicator!

10/03/2019

09/23/2019

Amplifying the negative is a cognitive distortion that only gets worse if not challenged and changed.

08/20/2019

THIS WEEK’S COUPLE CHALLENGE: Make deposits to your relationship's emotional bank account with one small gesture of appreciation, affection, and kindness each day. This will surely strengthen your emotional connection.

Please share what you did and the impact on both partners so others can build their idea toolbox.