The Couples Clinic

08/11/2026

We don't love, without risk.

We don't love without loss.

Love requires humility, perseverance, rejection, hurt feelings, forgiveness, kindness and patience.

Thank you C.S. Lewis for your words 46 years later. It is a wonderful reminder that "Loving" is as much as a verb as "trying."

08/07/2026

STOP DIAGNOSING YOUR PARTNER.

One of the things I am seeing more and more is people coming into relationships armed with labels.

He’s a dismissive avoidant.
She’s a narcissist.
He’s emotionally unavailable.
She’s toxic.

And sometimes those words may describe something real.

But sometimes, they become a shortcut that stops us from actually understanding what is happening between two people.

Your partner may shut down because they feel overwhelmed.

They may become defensive because they feel attacked.

They may pursue you harder because they are scared of losing connection.

They may pull away because every conversation feels like another opportunity to fail.

That doesn’t mean we excuse hurtful behavior.

It means we get curious about what is underneath it.

Because once you decide who your partner “is,” you stop looking at what the two of you are doing together.

And relationships are patterns.

One person reacts.
The other reacts to the reaction.
Then both people end up hurt, misunderstood and convinced the other person is the problem.

Labels create distance.

Understanding creates connection.

So before you diagnose the person you love, ask a different question:

“What keeps happening between us?”

That question might actually help you change it.

08/04/2026

07/21/2026

07/17/2026

The weather has been intense lately—heat, smoke, storms… it’s a lot on the nervous system.

And while we’re checking the forecast, it might be just as important to check in on the people we love.

Stress doesn’t always show up as “I’m struggling.”
Sometimes it looks like irritability, withdrawal, short tempers, or silence.

Before assuming the worst about your partner, your friend, or even your kids… pause and get curious.

“Hey, how are you doing with all of this lately?”
“I’ve noticed you seem a bit off—want to talk?”
“Anything you need from me right now?”

Small moments of care like this can shift everything.

Because most of the time, we’re not actually against each other…
we’re just overwhelmed at the same time.

Be kind to yourself and each other 💚💙

07/13/2026

You’re exhausted, not incompatible.

One of the biggest mistakes I see couples make is assuming that feeling disconnected means something is wrong with the relationship.

Sometimes…you’re simply running on empty.

When we’re exhausted, our patience shrinks. We become more reactive, less affectionate, and we start interpreting each other through a negative lens. Suddenly, everything feels bigger than it really is.

Before you decide your relationship is in trouble, ask yourself:
“When was the last time we actually refueled together?”

It doesn’t have to be a weekend away or an expensive date night.

Sometimes refueling looks like:
💚 Sitting on the porch together for 10 minutes after work.
💙 Taking a walk without talking about kids, bills, or the to-do list.
💚 Putting your phones away and sharing a cup of tea before bed.
💙 Sitting close to one another while watching your favourite show.
💚 Asking, “What’s one thing I can do to make your day a little easier?”

Healthy relationships aren’t built by grand gestures.
They’re built by hundreds of tiny moments where two tired people keep choosing each other.

Some seasons are about surviving.
The goal is simply to make sure you’re surviving together.

💚

06/24/2026

IKEA ran this commercial years ago. They took two plants and put them in a school.

The kids were encouraged to compliment one plant.

And bully the other plant.

And kids being kids…took the assignment seriously.

And very quickly we seen the results. Even though the plants were in the same environment

Same air.

Same sunlight.

Same water.

The plant that was compliment thrived and the plant that was criticized…..didn’t do so great.

He got wilty. He yellowed. And he started to die.

People aren’t so different than plants.

When we give loving words over critical words (and previous research shows it takes five loving statements to neutralize one critical statement) then people grow. People thrive.

Love thrives.

So ask yourself, which plant am I? Which plant is my partner?

What needs to change?

06/16/2026

Go tell them you love them.

Surprise her with her favorite snack.

Tell him he’s handsome

Flirt.

Let your person KNOW that you love them.

Don’t just let them assume you do.

06/11/2026

REJECTION

"She doesn't want to touch me."

"He won't help with the house work."

"She doesn't like my family."

"He won't listen to me."

"I don't feel loved.... I don't even feel liked."

Often when we are rejected, it can be related to a core wound, a childhood trauma, or unresolved grief.

Underneath it, is always the same fear- I'm not worthy. I'm not good enough.

Sometimes your partner may reject you because they feel controlled, or alternatively, also feel unheard.

Rejection usually is a signal that there is distance, and it will take both partners hearing each other's concerns to stay to lessen that gap.

It starts with sitting down and having an uncomfortable conversation, giving some empathy to your partners pain, and making efforts to reconnect with them again so that you both feel loved.

06/05/2026

Infertility can be one of the loneliest and most heartbreaking experiences a couple goes through.

What many people don’t see is the grief, the waiting, the disappointment, the pressure, and the emotional exhaustion happening quietly behind closed doors.

Couples often cope differently; one partner may want to talk constantly while the other shuts down or tries to stay “strong.” Misunderstandings can grow, intimacy can feel complicated, and even the happiest moments for others can feel painful.

If this is your journey, please know you are not broken, and you are not alone.

Healing doesn’t always mean having all the answers. Sometimes it means learning how to hold each other through the uncertainty with compassion, patience, honesty, and love.

Support matters. Connection matters. Your relationship matters.