02/27/2026
The need for safe emotional connection is wired by millions of years of evolution. From cradle to grave, we seek comfort through connection. Distressed partners may use angry words or show unpleasant emotions but underneath are always asking: Are you there for me? Do I matter to you? Will you show up when I need you?
Love is our best survival mechanism and to suddenly feel cut off from our partner is coded by the brain as a primal panic. When we understand these primary attachment needs and longing for connection, we start to lean into each other, rather than away. We start to build capacity to hold each other through not just the good times but through our most challenging life moments. There is hope in finding our way back to each other ❤️
Johnson, S (2008). Hold me tight: Seven conversations for a lifetime of love.
