05/14/2026
I want to be careful with how I name this — because the word "lying" carries so much judgment.
What I see in my practice, again and again, is this: Asian diaspora kids who became masters at managing information. At reading the room. At calculating exactly how much truth was safe to release at any given moment.
People call it dishonesty. I call it an adaptation.
When you grow up in a home where vulnerability was met with shame, where asking for comfort led to criticism, where your parents' worry or anger became your emotional responsibility to manage, you learn.
You learn to protect yourself the only way available to a child: through silence, through omission, through carefully curated versions of the truth.
And then you carry that into adulthood. Into friendships. Into relationships. Into therapy, sometimes, where it takes months before someone can say what's actually true without bracing for the reaction.
I don't see this as a character flaw. I see it as a survival response that, with the right support, can slowly be unwound.
If you recognized yourself in the post above, I want you to know: there's nothing wrong with you. You learned to cope in a system that didn't make space for your full truth. That's not your fault.
Book a free consultation with me whenever you are ready → Link in Bio.
