Zoe Klein, M.Ed, MSW

Zoe Klein, M.Ed, MSW Therapist in Toronto, Ontario with a passion for helping people find freedom from body hatred and eating disorders. Instagram:

Hear me out for a second: It's not wrong AT ALL to want, need, and make a point of making time for yourself. But it IS w...
08/15/2024

Hear me out for a second:

It's not wrong AT ALL to want, need, and make a point of making time for yourself.

But it IS wrong for a therapist to impose viewpoints on you or project onto you.

It IS wrong for a therapist to make you feel like you are crazy or wrong for not wanting time away from your baby.

Your therapist should instead be:

- Taking inventory of your sensory needs and helping you to understand what they may be.
- Providing knowledge on safe bedsharing ( if they have said knowledge)
- Respecting your feeding choices.
- Helping you make a postpartum plan.
- Empowering you go set boundaries.
- Supporting you in creating a village that works for YOU.

Not sure how to pick a therapist that is ACTUALLY supportive of perinatal mental health?

Comment "Freebie" and I'll send you a link for my SUPER low cost guide ( $3!! Less than a Starbucks) on therapist red flags.

Is the child you are referring to as "difficult " actually an issue or are they just showing you what isn't working? Is ...
08/14/2024

Is the child you are referring to as "difficult " actually an issue or are they just showing you what isn't working?

Is the child you are referring to as "difficult" actually a problem or are they exposing a flawed system?

One that only caters to a certain type of person with certain types of characteristics. Perhaps someone the academy may favor.

Is that other child actually "easier" or are they just better at existing within a flawed system, one that glorifies "convenient" children ?

Maybe it's less triggering to connect with this child over the "other one".

Maybe it's safer.

Maybe that way we don't have to look at how the school system only favors one type of person. How the world glorifies children who are quiet, mild mannered, and obedient. How children ( and in particular little girls) who have something to say about the world we live in are a problem.

Let's call it out for what it is.
Convenience
Obedience
Submissiveness.

Often the "difficult" child is the one who can make the most amazing waves and create the most amount of change.

Comment below if you were the "difficult child" and let us know where you ended up in life.

Phrases such as crying is communication and connect before you correct or not common phrases 30 years ago. The thinking ...
08/08/2024

Phrases such as crying is communication and connect before you correct or not common phrases 30 years ago.

The thinking was more geared towards seeing these as behaviors that needed to be stopped, as opposed to intentions that needed to be understood. A lot of the parenting rhetoric at that time was about extinction in some form.

What's been interesting in my practice is to see how older women are also triggered by younger women being less fearful. How younger women aren't as likely to stop activities or to not take their kids places when their husbands are out of town. How younger women are more able to manage relational dynamics than they were. In some ways you could argue wasn't their fault, because they were not really given those tools. So it makes sense that when the man of the house was out they retreated it to their bunker.

Therapy was whispered about behind closed doors. Now I have the pleasure of working with many millennial parents who are confident in their decision to go to therapy and open about this with the people that they trust. Therapy should be no different than going to the dentist.

We have more resources than ever before to help us through motherhood and this can be confronting to people who are left alone to deal with extremely difficult situations. While they never deserve to be left alone the way that they were, it also isn't reasonable for them to be triggered by the fact that certain things may be easier for you than they were for them.

All of this hopefully can provide some perspective as to why certain relatives may act the way that they do. They deserved better but none of this was your fault either.

And if you'd like to better understand how to set boundaries, comments boundary boot camp and I will send you a link to my one week program exactly on this subject. I will take you through exercises that I do with my clients to help them go from feeling anxious at family gatherings to confident and self-assured..

I'm looking at you, sleep trainer marketing. "Hey girl, sleep train your baby so you can have more s*x with your husband...
08/07/2024

I'm looking at you, sleep trainer marketing.

"Hey girl, sleep train your baby so you can have more s*x with your husband. "

I'm looking at you, older relatives who are happy to tell a mother she "looks tired " and who come over to play pass the baby when a woman is freshly postpartum not offering to wash a single dish.

I'm looking at you, accounts that profess bounce back culture over anyone else.

So you bend over backwards to please everyone around you. You bend over backwards to appear pleasant , sociable, a "good mom"

You aren't broken.

The system is broken.

There's a way out.

Comment "boundaries" and I'll send you the boundary script I use with my clients on a daily basis. You deserve support.

Common and normal are 🕑 different things. If you've pushed back on any of this and recieved a strange reaction, know tha...
08/04/2024

Common and normal are 🕑 different things. If you've pushed back on any of this and recieved a strange reaction, know that you aren't the one with the issue.

And if you've done these things, it doesn't make you a bad person either, but consider this an invitation to look at why that happened.

And if you want support, comment "mama".

I'd be happy to talk offers available to help you ❤️❤️

It makes sense. If your day to day needs are "selfish" why wouldn't your s*xual needs be the same?S*x comes another chor...
08/03/2024

It makes sense.

If your day to day needs are "selfish" why wouldn't your s*xual needs be the same?

S*x comes another chore in your chore bucket.

To please your husband.

To be pleasing.

No longer anything about YOU.

And it makes sense that you may be struggling with this after babies when you have been used to sharing your body.

But let's not forget that the very thing that brought our babies into the world was s*x.

Comment CHEAT SHEET, and I'll send you four ways to connect back to your s*xual self after babies.

Because s*x IS a part of motherhood.

Post inspo

Petition to throw the following sentences in the trash:" Your siblings were so much easier. ""Have you ever thought abou...
08/02/2024

Petition to throw the following sentences in the trash:

" Your siblings were so much easier. "
"Have you ever thought about what kind of kid YOU were?"
" You made me mad so I ______. "
" It was embarrassing being your parent. "

Your parents' inability to manage their own emotional turmoil was never your problem. Even if you had more needs than your siblings, you deserved to be met where you were at and deserved better than to be called "difficult ".

It's not your fault that you feel this way. I would argue you were trained to. Taught to from an early age. When society...
07/31/2024

It's not your fault that you feel this way.
I would argue you were trained to.
Taught to from an early age.
When society throws around the word "selfish " like confetti.
When we project shame onto women who deviate from the dominant paradigm.
When we use a baby's milestones to determine the inherent worth of a mother.
When we project anger on mothers who are willing to challenge the idea that a child's worth exists only daylight hours.
It can be easy to retreat into ourselves.
To assume we are the ones with the problem.
To listen to the deafening resounding NO we hear on society in so many places when we come forward about the difficulties of motherhood and how confronting it can be to reflect on how we grew up.
The emotional tightrope becomes more difficult to walk by the day.
..and we can end the cycle.

Comment 'Boundaries' to get access to my $15 guide "Moving away from Extinction" which not only helps you support your children through challenging moments, but also provides perspective on how YOU can set boundaries and protect your peace as a mother.

The constant moving goal posts of what a good mother should be. The my life is perfect and my marriage is perfect Instag...
07/29/2024

The constant moving goal posts of what a good mother should be. The my life is perfect and my marriage is perfect Instagram accounts that make everyone feel like they're doing something wrong. The way that boomers seem to forget what it's like to raise children and instead claim that their children never had tantrums, ate everything that they were "supposed to" and slept through the night by 6 weeks. And I will say, even these accounts purporting that mothers should be exuding this feminine energy all the time I don't think they're always helping matters either.

All of this leads to mothers thinking that they are the only ones struggling with things that are actually entirely normal, even things that that Instagram mom with the supposedly perfect marriage is dealing with too.

What if we peel back the layers and actually looked at the problems from the ground up so we could find the solutions that needed to be actually provided.

This is why I'm so happy to be offering my new 21-day coaching program That is entirely focused on you, your goals and not society's goals for you. This program gives you a chance to figure out what is stopping you from being able to enjoy motherhood the way that you want to and being given practical solutions to things like tantrums, sleep concerns without the use of sleep training, and a place to talk about the stresses in motherhood without feeling like you have to express your gratitude.

REVIVE Can also be done asynchronously because I know how busy everyone is.

I would love to revive your motherhood experience for you.

Comment REVIVE below and I will DM you information.

It's not your fault if this is what you have learned postpartum. There are HUGE patriarchal structures in place that are...
07/28/2024

It's not your fault if this is what you have learned postpartum.

There are HUGE patriarchal structures in place that are teaching all of this.

We are the first generation of true boundaries.

Of men stepping in and pushing back on those congratulating them for normal parental tasks.

There's a reason people are surprised.

And it's because a lot of this is new.

So let's get you the structures in place to make decisions with confidence and to FEEL good doing so.

Comment "boundaries" to get a link to my FRRE boundary scripts I use with my clients.

Comment "REVIVE" to get a link to my 21 day coaching program where you can not only master boundaries like a boss but also get answers to your burning parenting questions.

There's a reason why nails it with her reels, every . single. time. There's a reason has so many truth bombs. Bombardi...
07/25/2024

There's a reason why nails it with her reels, every . single. time.

There's a reason has so many truth bombs.

Bombarding a postpartum woman in the hospital was normal.

Motherbaby seperation was expected.

The idea of a man getting up to do night feeds wasn't the reality in many circles.

Passing your baby around ( when you didn't want to)may have been baseline.

So it's stands to reason your boundaries are frustrating.

The fact that your husband takes night time baby shifts stands out as "odd ".

The fact that you aren't ready to leave you're baby overnight makes you "strange ".

All because they weren't given the tools and chances to say no. Which left us in a position where we have felt challenged to set boundaries kindly but firmly.

Until now.

Comment "Boundary " and I'll send you my boundary scripts that I use with my clients. Particularly around holidays.

When it comes to tantrums, we've certainly heard it all:- They are just "testing you."- They are "manipulative ".- It's ...
07/15/2024

When it comes to tantrums, we've certainly heard it all:

- They are just "testing you."
- They are "manipulative ".
- It's because they are "spoiled".
- Just "connect more. "
- It's because you didn't "connect enough ".

Only recently have we come to understand that tantrums are a product of a developing brain getting disregulated. That sensory overload plays a role.
..and parents need strategies. Fast.

If seven years of experience in working with families has taught me one thing, it's that there is SO much misinformation out there.

On July 22nd at 10am EST, join me for a FREE webinar to learn:

- When tantrums start
- Why what we used to believe about tantrums is a MYTH.
- Three strategies you can use to help support your child ( and even ward off a tantrum)

Comment TANTRUM below and I'll DM you the link!

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Toronto, ON

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