05/28/2026
Wanting something doesn't mean it's the right thing for you. Whether you want to "do" something or "be" something, regardless if it's meant for you the doors will open easy, the circumstances will align to allow you to be or have the thing you desire. If it's not meant for you, likewise the circumstances and resistance you face are signs to detour and take another course of action.
This can be very hard to reconcile with and accept because in our mind, we want that which we are choosing. We exercise our free-will and declare our authoritative power over ourselves and our sovereign choices, only to have external, invisible forces stop us in our tracks.
No matter how much I wanted to return to work as an IT Infrastructure manager at a college, the circumstances wouldn't allow it. I was forced into healing from a painful past life experiences and to redirect my energies and my vision for my life. I was forced to give it all up and create space on a blank canvas that would become my new reality.
As much as I try to commit, and want to play soccer, inevitably each time I try, something comes up telling me it's not my path. I love my team. I love the players. I love the game and I love my role as goalie. But for some reason, delay after delay after delay preventing me from reaching a full recovery and being able to play. If it's not death, or illness it's injury.
My body is my tool, my instrument to navigate life and to make decisions in alignment with my soul. Yet, I'm so very stubborn and of course my mind likes to rule the show with its use of control and free will. In this case, my spirit also really wants to experience the JOY and PLEASURE of playing but my body is saying no. I would be wise to listen. sigh.
