Carmella Birori BA, MSW, RSW

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Winnipeg, MB
Carmella Birori BA, MSW, RSW

Carmella is a Therapist in Winnipeg supporting Individuals, Couples and Parents in every step of their reconnection journey.

She specializes in anxiety, relationships, life transitions and the things that hold you back from living your best life.

11/05/2022

Excited for my new reads. I love and find her artwork and words what o reach to when I need some trust in myself and the universe. ‘s book has been on my “to read” list for a while and a client recently reminded me about it. And workbook based on her soul-reaching words- I’m excited.
Happy Saturday all!

08/04/2022

How do we know?

The answer is what guides each of those? Is it an instinct or your intuition? Is it fear or is it trust?

When hard choices and questions come up, the more attuned thing we can offer ourself is a curiosity about the choice and the exploration of our “answers”. We must quiet the noise and settle into ourselves to ask and explore does this choice align with my authentic self, or does it keep me running from myself? Am I making my choice based on fear that something worse will happen or trust that everything might be okay?

How do you choose your way through hard?

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07/29/2022

As humans, we are patterned by nature. We go through relationships repeating what is familiar to us; what we inherited from our earliest childhood experience. We try to heal our childhood wounds, so we repeat them. That is the beauty of human instinct.

We recreate what happened to us in our childhoods to end it differently; to heal.

As Glennon Doyle says, “ So either we repeat it mindlessly or we end the pattern differently, and heal it”

07/27/2022

Have you ever said/thought something along the lines of: “I am afraid I am going to regret not…(fill in the blank)”.

Lately, I have been working through about of fear filled anticipatory regret around complex relationships, loss and distance. It is common in our culture to hear stories around the idea that we should prevent regret. In other words, we should “make sure” we takes all steps necessary to avoid regret. So it makes sense then, why fear and regret have been tied together.

BUT they don’t have to be. Regret and fear don’t have to coexist.

Regret in its purest form offers us opportunity and acceptance. It shows us what matters to us.

Fear, on the other hand tells us there is something wrong if we have lost something; it tells us we should have done more, done better. Regret tells us we could have, not we should have. Fear leaves us paralyzed and stuck and shame filled . Regret prompts us to look at ourselves, to honour what has existed and be hopeful about what that means for us now.

Regret isn’t something to fear, it is something to welcome.

07/26/2022

Hold up.
Wait a minute.
Put a little pause in it.

Hard s**t happens. Life altering, difficult, heart wrenching, body crippling things happen. And in our culture we are often told how to “life-hack” or “manifest” some kind of other worldly resilience to “come out the other side”. The only way to get to the other side is to go through, and there is no life-hack or manifestation that can get you out of self protection and huge heart wrenching feelings. We suffer through hard when we resist the pain; instead of letting ourselves just be with how hard it is and notice how human we are for feeling utter overwhelmed by our circumstance. Surrender to the hard. Be with it.

**t

07/25/2022

So, ‘s psychiatrist is the brilliant Dr Dan Siegel and the things she has learned about herself through her therapy with him has her sharing all kinds of gems. This is my favourite. Here’s why I love this one:

One of the pillars of my work is that each and every person has the answers of what they need inside of them, therapy just helps give the space to unearth, make sense and integrate them in a meaningful way.

So, use this as an invitation; if your asking a question about yourself or your life….honour and pay attention to that curiosity. Accept and allow yourself to sit with your own question long enough to uncover your own answer. Don’t put source your wisdom, cause it’s in there. We just have to quiet our minds.

07/24/2022

We can tell the difference mostly easily in our bodies.

Instinct is reactionary, fast.
It is a our response to decisions when we are in flight or fight mode.
It is a stress response.
Our body is tense.
We easily confuse our instinct’s thrill with romance and “butterflies” in relationships. It is not romance, it is fear

Intuition is slow and wise.
We access the trusting part of ourselves when we are still. It can still feel hard to make the decision, but we have a kind of peace and stillness about it.

So? How can we align with our intuition over our instinct?
Get slow, get still.
Pay attention to your body. Is it tense? Shaky?
Give yourself the space to never have to make an immediate decision about anything. Always take a moment to pause, align and find calm.

If when you’re calm, you can’t decide, sometimes we just need practice still in this space.

07/14/2022

The most important word is AND. What I hope to share is the sentiment of allowing multiple things to coexist; letting yourself accept and get comfortable with one thing AND something else. Like: disappointment and acceptance, loss and love, joy and fear.

One of the things I have allowed myself to learn and lean into in my parenting journey is duality, which is acceptance is opposing experience, ideas, receptions and feelings.

It goes a little something like this:
“This is so hard right now and I can find moments of joy and ease”
“I am so exhausted and I am so filled with love”
“This was not what I expect and parts of this feel so special”
“I have no idea what I am doing and some of this feels effortless”
“I miss my own independence and I wouldn’t trade my motherhood for anything”

Life is both complicated and simple. We can get stuck under the heavy stuff. We can also find teeny tiny moments of gratitude and ease in the complicated and heavy. We just have to give ourselves the grace enough to do it.

07/13/2022

No one.
Not the other moms.
Not the wealthy ones.
Not the therapists.
Not even the Instagram influencers.
No one.

That illusion that someone else has a clean home, is doing all of the things, never makes mistakes, can juggle competing priorities, has perfect relationships, the perfect life, does not exist.

Here is what I know to be true: Each and every single one of us is doing our best, and we are flawed and messy humans. Sometimes we can pick a bomb outfit and talk a good game, but we are all imperfectly human.

I truly think that if we all started normalizing the existence of hard things, we wouldn’t beat ourselves up believing that others have it so easy.

So, here’s a little helpful prompt: every time you find yourself wondering about how perfect someone else’s life is, or how easy things come to others, I want you to begin some imaginary wondering with this phrase: “the story I’m telling myself about their life is that…” and then offer yourself some much needed grace: “what I know to be true is that no one has it all together”.

Does offering yourself this experience in the moment fix everything? He’ll no, but with repeated practice, if begins to shift our daily experience into one of self trust versus self blame; nothing is wrong with you when something feels hard.

Address

Winnipeg, MB

Website

http://Reconnectrebuild.com/

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