04/08/2021
Birthworkers/doulas do a lot of things, but one thing we don’t do is promise any specific outcomes for your birth.
We do our best with the knowledge we hold to support you through the variety of situations that may come up during your labour and birth, but we cannot make decisions for you or save you from the decisions you make.
We can advocate for you to be informed about those decisions, remind you of your wishes, and support you emotionally and physically through all outcomes.
Navigating the L&D room is a constant learning process for me as a birthworker. I’ve had a lot of nurses and doctors disregard/put down the suggestions I give, and suggest other things that just lead to intervention after intervention. On the other hand, I’ve had nurses and doctors that just let us “do our thing” and honour the physiological process. I wish there was more of the latter.
I wish that care providers would realize that letting someone know you’re about to do something to their body is not the same as asking them if you can do something to their body. I wish more care providers understood informed consent.
Reminding my clients to take the space to listen to their intuition, asking them if they need anything else before making a decision, reminding them to ask about the benefits/risks/alternatives, and letting them know that no matter what they decide, they are supported, is the best I can do.
This has all been on my mind a lot lately, so I am sharing. I am sharing because I am always learning. The learning doesn’t stop in this work so I expect to still come up against challenging situations with every client I support/birth I attend and taking what I learn and sharing it with every client that comes after.
Ultimately - my hope is that whatever direction the experience goes in, that my clients feel cared for, supported, and listened to through all the moments of their labour and birth.
Any other doulas out there think about all this a lot?!?!?