31/10/2024
I wrote this yesterday on a flight to Costa Rica, where I’ve spent at least 6 months each year for the past 4 years — experiencing slow pace life, buying food at the farmer’s market, and wearing flip-flops.
This is my 5th time heading to the little rustic town of Nosara, but this time it feels different.
Three months ago, while living in Costa Rica, I decided it was time for an extended visit to Toronto. After all, how bad could it be?
I intuitively felt resistance to going, but convinced myself logically that it was a good idea. My work is geographically flexible. It’s summertime. I have good friends in Toronto. I love Canadian fall… Why not escape Costa Rica’s rainy season to experience some city life?
Little did I know about the lessons awaiting me… some of which I have yet to process.
As I write this, I feel waves of grief moving through me — another painful cycle of death and rebirth.
The truth is, I’ve lost resonance with many people and “norms.” I’m becoming intolerant to white lies, chaotic energies and forced niceties. I’m not interested in everyday conveniences of fast food, fast dating, and everything AI-generated.
There’s a sense of no longer fitting in… and, truthfully — not even wanting to.
Admitting this to myself feels like taking off a tight shoe that I’ve been forcing myself to wear. Big relief. I’d rather be in flip flops 🩴
I am not delusional. I understand that nothing is inherently good or bad. A knife can be an instrument with which someone takes a life, but in the hands of a surgeon, it can be life-saving. So, I do see the benefits of Uber Eats and next-day Prime delivery, but I also see how all these innovations created a form of social imprisonment, with disconnect at its core.
Everything is fast, accessible, and disposable… comes with a side of choice fatigue and very little human connection.
All of a sudden, I remembered what stress and anxiety feels like. Throughout October, I felt lethargic and unmotivated. I wasn’t inspired to write, create, or share. I cocooned myself and felt my own dissolution. Still feeling it..🐛
But I am now at a place where I can wear flip-flops every day. Or go barefoot.
For now… Or forever?
