The Good Expat Life

02/11/2026

I have noticed this repeatedly, both in my own relationships and through my work with couples: Sometimes the argument we are having isn't really the argument we think we are having.

It might look like an argument about the dishes, the children, work, money, social plans, or who did – or did not – do whatever!

But underneath it, something else may be happening.

One person may long to feel important, remembered, or reassured. The other may be feeling overwhelmed, criticized, or as though nothing they do is ever enough. One reaches for connection, while the other instinctively moves away to create some breathing space.

And before either person really knows what has happened, they are caught in a familiar pattern.

Living abroad can sometimes make these patterns more noticeable. When so much of what surrounds us is unfamiliar, our closest relationships can carry an enormous amount of emotional weight. Our partner may be our person, our safe place, our family, and sometimes our main source of familiarity in a country that still does not quite feel like home.

This month, I would like to explore some of what happens when attachment and expat life meet: Why we sometimes react more strongly than we expect, why couples can become caught in the same arguments over and over again, and how understanding the pattern can create a little more space for something different.

Because I don't believe that understanding our attachment patterns is about putting ourselves or our partners into neat boxes.

For me, it is about becoming a little more curious about what happens between us – and what might be happening underneath the reaction.

If this is something you recognise, you are very welcome to follow along this month.

01/11/2026

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐰𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 – 𝐮𝐩𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐞𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫

Moving abroad can change more than our surroundings. It can change the people we turn to, the support we have around us, and our sense of familiarity and belonging. And sometimes, it can change how we experience our closest relationships, too.

When we no longer have our usual network of friends, family, and familiar places around us, our partner may become an even more important source of emotional security. We may find ourselves needing more reassurance, feeling more easily hurt, or becoming frustrated when the other person seems to need space just when we need connection.

Or perhaps we recognise the opposite in ourselves: a tendency to withdraw when things become emotionally demanding, even when part of us longs to feel closer.

These responses are not necessarily signs that something is wrong with us, or with our relationship. Sometimes, they are familiar ways of trying to find safety when life feels less predictable.

This November, I will be exploring attachment, relationships, and emotional safety abroad – how our early experiences can shape the ways we seek connection, why certain patterns may become more noticeable when we live away from home, and how we can begin to create more secure and meaningful relationships.

I will also be exploring this in my upcoming webinar on 9 November:

𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝 — 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧

Together, we will look at how attachment patterns can influence our relationships, how couples can become caught in familiar cycles, and what we can do to begin changing those patterns – without blaming ourselves or our partners. Because understanding attachment is not about putting ourselves or the people we love into categories. It is about becoming more aware of what happens when we feel vulnerable, and discovering that we may have more choices than we realise.

If you are living abroad and would like to understand yourself and your relationships a little better, I would love you to join me.

The webinar takes place on 9 November – and you can register here: https://www.thegoodexpatlife.com/webinar

Over the coming weeks, I will be sharing more reflections on these themes here, too. I hope they will offer something useful to think about, whether you are navigating these experiences in a relationship or simply becoming more curious about your own patterns of connection.

Join this free webinar where you’ll learn how your attachment style shapes your relationships, your sense of self, and your emotional well-being abroad.

10/10/2026

𝐓𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡 𝐃𝐚𝐲.

And every year, I find myself wondering: Shouldn’t mental health really have a day every day?

Not because we should spend every day analysing ourselves, trying to optimise our wellbeing, or making sure that we are always feeling good. Quite the opposite, actually.

For me, mental health has become much more about the small, often unremarkable ways in which I stay connected to myself.

As such, I have begun to notice when I am tired rather than pushing through automatically. I am making space for something that gives me pleasure – like photography (check out my garden apple shots).

I am allowing myself to feel disappointed, sad, or overwhelmed without immediately deciding that something is wrong with me.

I have become more mindful of when I need other people – and to reach out too.

And, sometimes I simply stop long enough to notice how I really am – if and I need to scale things back a little.

Perhaps mental health is less about being mentally “well” all the time, and more about having a relationship with ourselves in which we can notice what is happening, respond with some kindness, and seek connection when we need it.

This feels particularly important to me because so much of life asks us to keep going. To adapt. To perform. To be productive. To be the strong one. To make the best of things.

And sometimes the most mentally healthy thing we can do is to pause and listen to the part of us that has quietly been saying, this is a lot. My experience is that if we don’t, that part of us will start screaming – often through somatic symptoms.

So, yes, I am grateful that we have a World Mental Health Day. We need the conversations it creates, the awareness it raises, and the permission it can give people to speak about what they are carrying.

But perhaps the bigger invitation is to let mental health become part of ordinary life – not just something we remember once a year, but something we pay attention to along the way.

What might your own mental health day look like today – not as something extra you have to do, but as one small way of taking yourself seriously?

16/09/2026

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https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1JCbnawA4e/

08/09/2026

As a therapist, I seem to always think a lot about attachment – and about how much more visible our attachment patterns can become when we live away from the people, places, and familiar relationships that once helped us feel secure.

Living abroad can bring so much freedom and growth, but it can also stir something much deeper. We may find ourselves longing for more closeness from our partner, feeling particularly sensitive to distance or rejection, withdrawing when we feel overwhelmed, or discovering that the ways we have learned to protect ourselves no longer work quite as well in a new country and a new life.

And sometimes, we don’t even recognise what is happening. We simply wonder: Why am I reacting like this? Why does this feel so much bigger than it should? Why can I feel perfectly capable in so many areas of my life, yet somehow feel insecure, lonely or unsettled in my relationships?

That’s why I’ve chosen attachment as the theme of both my latest newsletter and my upcoming webinar. Not because there is something “wrong” with the way we attach, but because understanding our patterns can give us a little more compassion for ourselves – and a little more choice in how we respond.

In my newsletter, I explore some of the ways attachment can show up in expat life and relationships, and in the upcoming webinar I’ll take this a step further, helping you understand your own attachment style and what it might mean for your relationships.

If this is something you’ve ever wondered about – in your relationship, your friendships, your family, or simply in the way you experience closeness and belonging abroad – you’re very welcome to have a look.

Perhaps you’ll recognise a little of yourself along the way. ❤️
https://wix.to/2dQKNBp

02/09/2026

When we talk about moving abroad, we often talk about the practical things like finding a home, learning a language, understanding the systems, finding schools, setting up bank accounts, getting used to a new workplace…. The list is as long, if not longer, than my arm.

And all of these things matter.

I remember those things from my own years abroad. The practical challenges were very real and many sometimes surprisingly exhausting.

But over time, both through my own experiences and my work with internationally mobile individuals, couples and families, I have become increasingly aware of another side of relocation: namely, the emotional transition.

Because moving abroad is not only about changing where we live. It is also about changing how we experience ourselves.

Suddenly, things that once felt natural may require conscious effort – things such as:
How we communicate.
How we build friendships.
How we understand ourselves in relation to others.
How we find a sense of belonging.

For many expats, there comes a moment where the excitement of the new life settles, and we begin asking deeper questions:

Who am I in this new environment?
Where do I belong?
How do I stay connected to myself while also embracing a different culture?

These questions are not signs that something is wrong. They are a natural part of creating a life somewhere new.

Throughout September, I will be sharing reflections about the emotional side of expat life – identity, relationships, belonging, and what it means to find your footing when so much around you has changed.

I hope you will join the conversation.

And, I would love to hear what has helped you feel more at home in your life abroad?

17/08/2026

One of the things nobody really prepares you for when moving abroad is this: You can be experienced, educated and confident in your own field – and still suddenly feel like a beginner again.

When I first moved abroad, I expected practical challenges. I expected to learn a new language, understand different systems, and find my way around a new country. What surprised me much more was how much I had to learn about the invisible rules. And there seemed to be many:

The things nobody writes down.
The things everyone else seems to know.
How do people communicate?
How direct should you be?
When is it appropriate to speak up?
How do you build relationships with colleagues?
What does “professional” actually look like in this culture?

Over the years, I have realised that many international professionals experience something similar.

Not because they lack skills, nor because they are less capable. But simply because they are suddenly navigating a different set of cultural expectations.

In Denmark, for example, many workplaces are shaped by values such as equality, independence and informal communication. Managers may expect employees to take initiative. Colleagues may openly challenge ideas. People may call their manager by their first name. Decisions may be discussed collectively rather than simply handed down from above.

For someone coming from another work culture, these things can feel confusing at first. And sometimes, what looks like a lack of structure may actually be a different way of organising collaboration.

One of the biggest lessons I have learned through my own experiences and my work with internationally mobile people is this: Feeling uncomfortable in a new culture does not mean you are failing. It merely means that you are learning.

This week, I will be sharing some reflections on Danish workplace culture – the things I wish someone had explained to me when I first moved abroad.

You can also find my articles about Danish work culture here: https://www.thegoodexpatlife.com/blog/categories/danish-work-culture-1
And if you are new to Denmark, I hope they help you understand not only what happens in Danish workplaces, but also why.

14/08/2026

There are many practical things we learn when we move abroad:

Where to shop.
How public transport works.
How to register with authorities.
How to navigate a new school system.

But some of the biggest lessons are not practical at all. They are emotional.

When my children started school abroad, I spent a lot of time worrying:

Would they be okay?
Would they make friends?
Would they feel different?
Would I know how to support them?

Looking back, I realise that I was not only worried about my children. I was also navigating my own transition as a parent. Because when we move abroad, we lose some of the things that previously gave us confidence. We no longer automatically understand the systems around us. We may not know what is considered “normal”.

We may compare everything with what we are used to.

And all that can leave us questioning ourselves. I certainly did.

One of the things I have learned, both personally and professionally, is that asking questions and being curious is one of the greatest strengths we can bring into expat life.

We do not need to know everything immediately.

We are allowed to be beginners.

This week, I have shared my reflections on starting school abroad and my guide to Danish school life.

But I would love to hear from you:

What is one thing you wish someone had told you about schools in your new country?

10/08/2026

𝐀 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞

One of the biggest transitions many international families experience is something that happens every year around August: starting school.

For children, it can mean quite a few things: a new building, new teachers, new classmates, a new language, new rules they do not yet understand.

But for parents, it can also bring a whole range of emotions.

Because when we send our children into a new school system, we are not only navigating practical questions. We also place our most precious into the hands of people and systems we do not yet know. And that’s daunting!

When my own children started school in England after we moved abroad, they did not understand a word of English. I clearly remember the mixture of excitement and worry. We wanted them to experience life in their new country fully. We wanted them to build friendships beyond our own international community and truly become part of the society we had moved to.

But that did not mean it was easy. I worried about whether they would feel included. Whether they would understand what was happening. And whether I had made the right decision for them.

One of my children also had severe food allergies, which added another layer of anxiety. The thought of leaving them in an environment where they could not yet communicate their needs was frightening.

Thankfully, we were met with warmth, empathy, and a willingness to support our family.

But the first months were challenging. Looking back, I realise that starting school abroad is not only a transition for the child. It is a transition for the whole family.

Parents are also learning: learning to trust a new system, learning that different does not necessarily mean wrong, learning to let our children develop parts of themselves that may be shaped by another culture.

This is one of the many things I wish someone had told me when I first moved abroad. That uncertainty does not mean you have made the wrong choice. Often, it simply means you are doing something new.

I have written more about my own experiences of navigating school life abroad, as well as what international families may find helpful when settling into Danish school culture.

You can read my article here:
𝐀 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞
https://www.thegoodexpatlife.com/post/a-guide-to-danish-school-life-cultural-intelligence

For those of you who have children who have started school in a new country:
What was the biggest adjustment for your family?

New to Danish school culture. Learn how to best support your child.

03/08/2026

𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬.

As we enter August, I want to spend some time reflecting on something that is close to my heart: What it really means to build a life abroad.

Whether you have recently moved to a new country, are returning after a summer away, or have been living internationally for many years, I hope these reflections will resonate with you.

I hope that you, like me, have had time to rest, spend time with your loved ones, and create some wonderful memories over the summer.

Each year, as we approach the summer break, I make a promise to myself: This year, I will truly slow down. I will have some quiet time at home. I will allow myself some proper downtime.

And each year, I somehow fail miserably at that intention – much to my own frustration.

But this summer, something shifted. I managed to honour myself and my need for rest. And what a gift that has been.

Not only have I enjoyed six days wandering around Rome in the heat with my adult children, but I have also had a whole week of doing absolutely nothing in my garden. Reading books. Listening to music. Going for walks through beautiful cornfields. And enjoying the occasional ice cream lolly while simply soaking up the gorgeous Danish summer weather.

What a treat!

For those of you who have followed me for a while, you will know how much I enjoy photography. So perhaps it will not come as a surprise that one of the themes that has captured my creativity this summer has been cornfields.

I have loved watching them change. From young, fragile plants pushing their way upwards, to strong and tall crops standing ready for harvest. There is something quite beautiful about witnessing that process.

And perhaps it is because I spend so much time thinking about transitions, both personally and professionally, that I have found myself reflecting on how much this resembles the expat journey.

Because when we talk about moving abroad, we often talk about the exciting parts. The adventures and new experiences and the places we will discover. The people we will meet. All of those things can absolutely be part of the journey.

But there is another side of international life that is talked about much less.

Namely, the moments where you suddenly realise that you do not know where to buy something you need. The moments where you miss a friend who understands your history without needing an explanation. The moments where you find yourself laughing at a cultural difference one day – and feeling completely lost because of it the next.

Many moons ago, long before the internet was a staple in every household, when I first moved abroad, I expected practical challenges. I expected to learn new systems and adjust to a different way of doing things.

What surprised me much more was the emotional side of relocation. How much energy it takes to constantly interpret, adapt and find your place. How much courage it takes to build relationships from scratch. How strange it can feel to become a beginner again when you are otherwise a capable and independent adult.

Looking back, I think many of us underestimate the emotional work involved in creating a life somewhere new.

Perhaps that is because we tend to celebrate the visible parts of expat life while overlooking the invisible ones. The roots we grow. The storms we weather. The strength we discover along the way.
If you are living abroad, have moved countries in the past, or are considering a move, I would love to hear:

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 – 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫?