26/08/2026
...... When the Heart Gets Used to Pain .......
Today started with more than 8 hours of transsphenoidal pituitary adenoma surgery.
By the end of it, I thought my mind and body had had enough.
Then, while passing by the obstetric department, I heard one of my friends say: Doctor, we have an urgent C-section.
And I remember thinking to myself:
One more spinal won’t hurt… I can finish this, go eat, rest, and relax afterward.
But shortly after baby were delivered, I saw a young female doctor crying beside me..
The mother whose C-section we had just performed had asked me about her baby, who had polycystic kidneys:
“Is my baby alive? Can I see her?”
I tried my best to calm her down and reassure her, although her baby was being taken to the Neonatal ICU for further care.
كان سؤال بسيط، لكنه يحمل وجع أم لا يمكن وصفه.
الله يحفظ أمهاتنا ويطوّل في أعمارهم. ❤️
I looked at that young doctor, and quietly asked myself:
What happened to me?
متى أصبحت أشوف مثل هذه المواقف بدون ما أحس بشيء؟
Maybe I didn’t lose my emotions.
Maybe I just learned, over the years, how to hide them.
الطب يجعلك ترى الألم كثيرًا، لدرجة أنك تتعلم كيف تكمل شغلك حتى وأنت من الداخل تتألم.
يعني لازم تشتغل وانت بتعيط.
The real strength is not to feel nothing.
It is to feel deeply, and still be able to stand up and do your duty.
At the end I realized something:
The scariest thing isn’t that the doctor gets tired…
it’s that the heart gets used to pain.
With time, we see suffering so often that the heart starts building a wall.
Not because we don’t care.
But because sometimes, we need that wall just to survive.
ومهما حاولنا أن نكون أقوياء، أتمنى ألا يأتي يوم تصبح فيه قسوة المشهد شيئًا عاديًا بالنسبة لنا.
May our profession never make us lose our humanity.
We are doctors, but before that, we are human beings.
Anesthesia • ICU • Pain Management
