20/07/2025
365 Days - A Tribute to a Year of Life & Year of Motherhood
It’s been 365 days since your arrival.
365 days of oxytocin whispering to my brain, my heart, my bones, telling me to love you.
365 days of sharing my body with you, on this side of my skin.
365 days of singing songs to you I didn’t know were lying in wait on my tongue.
365 consecutive, white noise filled, sleepless nights.
But double that in the deepest most regenerative naps I didn’t know were possible. Or maybe I knew when I was your age, and spent them like you do, nuzzled at my own mother’s breast.
365 days of looking in the mirror differently.
365 days of looking at women differently.
365 days of let downs, both the kind that produce milk and the kind that produce disappointment, at least at some point in the day.
365 days of following your lead, and my god, do you love to lead.
365 days of swaying with you rhythmically.
365 days of remembering, remembering what wonder and awe feels like while sober.
365 days of learning what kind of mother I am, which, to my surprise, is quite different to the mother I’d always imagined I’d be before you made me.
365 good mornings spoken softly in your ear.
365 coffees shared with you.
365 days of translating your tears.
365 days of smiling back at strangers on the street that praise you in passing.
365 days of looking down at you, looking up at me, our eyes communicating calm.
365 days of watching you expand, and stretch and lengthen right before my eyes.
365 days of exchanging, “I can’t believe we have a baby!”, with your Papá. We’re still both in disbelief!
365 days of my unraveling and many more go come.
|| written by me after my first borns first birthday but still hits home this time around too as we honor Roque’s first year of life ||
