Sam Luxford Therapy Solutions

08/06/2026

One thing I've noticed over the years is that people rarely struggle to tell me what's not working.

Most people can tell you exactly what's stressing them, frustrating them, worrying them or draining their energy. They know what's gone wrong, what still needs sorted and what they'd like to be different.

What often takes a little more thought is a different question.

What's already working?

Not perfectly. Not all the time. Just enough to make a difference.

Maybe it's the fact that you're handling situations now that would have completely overwhelmed you a few years ago. Maybe it's the way you're showing up for your family, your friends or your colleagues. Maybe it's that you're still moving forward despite having a lot on your plate.

Sometimes we're so focused on the gaps that we overlook the progress. We become so busy looking at what isn't there yet that we stop noticing what is already there.

The interesting thing is that when you start looking for evidence, you usually find it.

Evidence that you're coping.

Evidence that you're adapting.

Evidence that you're learning.

Evidence that you're stronger than you sometimes give yourself credit for.

Not because life is perfect. Not because there aren't challenges. But because even during difficult periods there are often helpful thoughts, useful actions and positive interactions quietly happening in the background.

Maybe today is a good day to notice some of them.

You might be surprised by what you find.

07/06/2026

Happy Sunday.

One thing I've noticed over the years is that the happiest people aren't necessarily the luckiest people. They haven't somehow managed to avoid challenges, stress, setbacks or difficult periods in their lives. They've simply developed a habit of noticing things that many of us overlook.

As a Solution Focused Therapist, one of the things we talk about a lot is where attention goes. People often come to therapy understandably focused on what they don't want. How they don't want to feel. What's not working. What's gone wrong. What's missing. And that's completely understandable because when we're struggling that's exactly what the brain tends to do. It starts looking for evidence of the problem and before long the problem can begin to take up so much space that it becomes difficult to see anything else.

One of the things I encourage people to do is gently begin looking in another direction as well. What's already there? What's already working? What's been slightly better? What have you managed to do despite everything? And perhaps one of my favourite questions is, how would you know things were beginning to move in the right direction?

What would you notice? What would your partner notice? What would your friends notice? What would your children notice?

The answers are usually wonderfully ordinary. People don't tend to talk about dramatic transformations. They talk about feeling a bit more energised. Getting up a little earlier. Being bothered to make some breakfast. Messaging a friend they've been meaning to contact. Spending a bit more time outside. Smiling more. Feeling more present. Spending less time glued to their phone.

Because most of life is ordinary life.

Would you be laughing a little more? Would you be spending less time in your head and more time in the moment? Would you enjoy your coffee instead of drinking it whilst thinking about ten other things? Would you notice the sunshine, the people around you and those little moments that somehow make life feel meaningful?

The funny thing is that when people start to feel better, it's often these ordinary things that return first. The conversation over a coffee. The walk. The birds in the garden. The message from a friend. The laugh that catches you off guard. The feeling of being understood.

Perhaps the happiest people aren't seeing a different world from everyone else.

Perhaps they're simply noticing more of it.

What's something you've noticed and appreciated this weekend?

Sam

I CAN. I WILL. I AM!

06/06/2026

Receiving messages from happy clients reminds me why I love what I do.

This week, someone contacted me to tell me they are still smoke free 11 years after their hypnotherapy session.

Eleven years.

That means eleven years of freedom. Eleven years of making different choices. Eleven years of proving to themselves, day after day, that they no longer needed something that had once been such a big part of their life.

When people think about stopping smoking, they usually focus on the obvious benefits. Better health, more money, improved fitness, easier breathing and a lower risk of illness. All of those things are hugely important.

But what I’ve often noticed over the years is that the biggest changes are frequently the ones people never expected.

Ni****ne affects dopamine, serotonin and the brain’s reward pathways. Over time, smoking becomes connected to stress, comfort, routine and coping. It becomes woven into everyday life. For many people, it’s there during the difficult moments, the celebrations, the coffee breaks and the quiet moments alone. That’s why stopping is rarely just about giving up ci******es. It’s about creating a completely different relationship with yourself and with life’s challenges.

What often follows is a growth in confidence. People start trusting themselves more because they’ve demonstrated that they can make a significant change and maintain it. They begin approaching challenges differently. They become more aware of their own strength and resilience. They stop relying on an old habit and start relying on themselves.

That confidence doesn’t stay in one area. It often spreads into relationships, work, health, wellbeing and self-belief. People start making other positive decisions because they now have evidence that they can. The story they tell themselves about who they are begins to change.

Eleven years later, this person’s success isn’t really about smoking.

It’s about becoming someone who believes in their own ability to create lasting positive change.

And that’s something worth celebrating.

I CAN. I WILL. I AM!

05/06/2026

YOU DON'T HAVE TO EARN YOUR WORTH

As I've been writing this week's Pride Month posts, one message keeps coming back to me.

I started by talking about prejudice and what happens when people feel judged for being different. I then explored the cost of hiding and how exhausting it can be when we feel we need to edit ourselves, monitor ourselves or keep parts of who we are hidden away. We moved on to belonging and how important it is to feel accepted, valued and connected. Then yesterday I wrote about self-acceptance and the difference it can make when we stop fighting ourselves.

All of those conversations seem to point towards the same idea.

So many people spend their lives trying to prove they're good enough. Trying to earn acceptance. Trying to fit in. Trying to deserve approval. Trying to convince themselves that if they achieve enough, do enough or become enough, they'll finally feel worthy.

But what if your worth isn't something you have to earn?

What if it's already there?

I've often thought that some of the biggest changes happen when people stop looking outside themselves for constant validation and start recognising their own value. Not because they've become perfect, but because they've stopped believing their worth depends on being perfect.

Maybe that's the message I'd like to finish this week with.

You don't have to become someone else to be worthy.

You already are.

What would change in your life if you truly believed that?

Sam Luxford Therapy Solutions

Former NHS Specialist Mental Health Nurse | Multi Award Winning Therapist | Advanced Clinical & Medical Hypnotherapist | Rewind Trauma Phobia Therapist | Solution Focused Therapist

Aberdeen West End | In Person & Online Anywhere & Everywhere

WhatsApp 07867 936505

I CAN. I WILL. I AM!

05/06/2026

You Don't Have To Earn Rest

One of the things I've noticed over the years is how many people feel guilty when they stop. They can spend an entire week working hard, looking after other people, solving problems, running around and carrying responsibilities, yet the moment they sit down and do nothing for a while, a little voice appears telling them they should be doing something more productive.

I think a lot of us have been conditioned to believe that rest is something we earn. Once the jobs are finished. Once the emails are answered. Once the house is tidy. Once everything else has been taken care of. The trouble is that life rarely works like that. There is almost always another task waiting, another responsibility around the corner or another item that could be added to the list.

The irony is that rest isn't the opposite of productivity. Rest is one of the things that makes productivity possible. When we're rested, we think more clearly, have more patience, make better decisions and generally deal with life's ups and downs much more effectively. Yet it's often the first thing we sacrifice when life gets busy.

As we head into the weekend, perhaps it's worth considering whether you've been treating rest as a reward rather than a necessity. Perhaps slowing down for a while isn't something that needs to be justified. Perhaps it's simply part of looking after yourself in the same way you would look after anybody else you care about.

What helps you switch off and properly recharge?

Sam Luxford Therapy Solutions
Aberdeen's Leading Advanced Clinical & Medical Hypnotherapist
Former NHS Specialist Mental Health Nurse
Rewind Trauma Phobia Therapist
Solution Focused Therapist
Multi Award Winning Therapist
🌐 samluxfordtherapy.com
📱 WhatsApp 07867 936505
📍 Aberdeen West End | In Person & Online Anywhere & Everywhere
I CAN. I WILL. I AM!

05/06/2026

A lovely piece on why we combine hypnosis with a solution focused approach

Sometimes people ask why we combine hypnosis with a solution focused approach? Hypnotherapy is a mixture of talking, a solution focused conversation, and the trance part.
Interestingly hypnosis on its own is not really a therapy, it’s more like a tool or a technique.
Most people arrive knowing exactly what they don't want, they absolutely know they don't want to feel so anxious or perhaps they have a fear of flying or they feel their confidence is too low. And, very often, people have a good idea of what they want to achieve, they want to feel calmer, more confident, or able to just get on a plane and go on holiday.
The tricky part is often how do we get from where we are to where we want to be? It’s that bit in the middle.

That’s why we use solution focused conversation, we have a purposeful chat about your best hopes, your strengths and skills and what that first small step might be, we are plotting the route to your preferred future.

Then we use hypnosis to help your mind bring that route to life. As our mind relaxes and we enter a state of absorption (a bit like getting absorbed in a great book) our mind gets the chance to imagine how we might ‘fill in the middle’, how to get from where we are to where we want to be.

It is a little like using sat nav on your phone, you know where you are and you
know your hoped for destination. The solution focused conversation helps identify the route, and hypnosis helps you travel it in a way that makes sense for you.

Different people may take different roads, but the destination is always their own. Where would you like your destination to be?

04/06/2026

When Things Don’t Go To Plan

Can I ask you something?

How much of your stress comes from what actually happened, and how much comes from the fact that it wasn’t supposed to happen?

I’ve been thinking about that recently because life has a habit of reminding us who’s really in charge. We make plans, create schedules, organise our days and imagine how things are going to unfold, and then suddenly something changes. A delay. A cancellation. A misunderstanding. An unexpected phone call. A problem we weren’t expecting. Before we know it, the day looks completely different from the one we had in our head.

What I’ve noticed is that it’s often not the event itself that causes the most stress. It’s the argument we have with reality afterwards. We spend time wishing it hadn’t happened, thinking about how unfair it is, replaying what should have happened instead. And whilst that’s a perfectly human thing to do, it rarely moves us forward.

The people I admire most aren’t the people whose lives always go smoothly. They’re the people who seem able to pause, take a breath and adapt. They don’t waste energy fighting the fact that something has happened. Instead, they focus on what they can do next. That’s not giving up. It’s not lowering standards. It’s simply recognising where their energy will have the biggest impact.

For me, emotional regulation isn’t about staying calm because life is calm. It’s about staying steady when life isn’t. It’s about recognising that whilst we can’t always choose the situation, we can usually choose the response. And sometimes that response is the difference between a bad moment and a bad day.

I’m curious…

What’s one situation in your life that taught you the value of adapting when things didn’t go to plan?

Sam Luxford Therapy Solutions
Former NHS Specialist Mental Health Nurse
Advanced Clinical & Medical Hypnotherapist
Multi Award Winning Therapist
Rewind Trauma Phobia Therapist
Solution Focused Therapist

WhatsApp 07867 936505
samluxfordtherapy.com

I CAN. I WILL. I AM!

04/06/2026

The Hidden Cost Of Being The Strong One

I think most of us know someone like this.

The person who always seems to cope. The one who keeps everything moving forwards. The person who steps in when there's a problem, helps when someone is struggling and somehow finds a way to get things done, even when they've got plenty going on themselves.

The funny thing is that the stronger someone appears, the less likely people are to ask if they're okay. We assume they're managing because they're always managing. We assume they're coping because they've always coped before.

Over the years I've met a lot of people like that. Good people. Caring people. The sort of people who take pride in looking after those around them. They're often the first to offer support and the last to ask for it themselves.

What I've noticed is that being strong doesn't mean life feels easy. It doesn't mean there aren't worries, responsibilities, pressures and moments when things feel heavy. It just means you've become very good at carrying those things whilst continuing to show up for the people around you.

Sometimes I think the strongest people can become victims of their own competence. The more capable they are, the more people rely on them. The more reliable they are, the more responsibility comes their way.

That's why I think it's worth checking in on the strong ones occasionally. Not because they're incapable. Not because they're falling apart. Simply because they're human too.

Who's the strong one in your family, friendship group or workplace?

Sam Luxford Therapy Solutions
Aberdeen's Leading Advanced Clinical & Medical Hypnotherapist
Former NHS Specialist Mental Health Nurse
Rewind Trauma Phobia Therapist
Solution Focused Therapist
Multi Award Winning Therapist
🌐 samluxfordtherapy.com
📱 WhatsApp 07867 936505
📍 Aberdeen West End | In Person & Online Anywhere & Everywhere
I CAN. I WILL. I AM!

04/06/2026

ACCEPTANCE STARTS WITH YOU

As I’ve been writing this week’s Pride Month posts, I’ve found myself reflecting on how the conversation has evolved. I started by thinking about prejudice and what happens when people feel judged for being different. That led me to write about the cost of hiding and how exhausting it can be when we feel we need to edit ourselves, monitor ourselves or hide parts of who we are. Yesterday’s post focused on belonging and how important it is to feel accepted, valued and connected. And that naturally brings me to today’s thought.

What happens when acceptance comes from within?

I think many of us carry an invisible critic around with us. The voice that points out what we could do better, what we should have said, what we haven’t achieved yet or why we don’t quite measure up. The strange thing is that most people would never speak to someone else that way. If a friend was struggling, you’d probably be encouraging, understanding and supportive. You’d remind them of their strengths and tell them they’re doing better than they think. Yet somehow we forget to offer ourselves that same kindness.

I’ve often thought that self-acceptance isn’t about thinking you’ve got everything sorted. It’s about recognising both your strengths and your imperfections and deciding that you’re still worthy of respect. Once you stop fighting yourself, you free up an incredible amount of energy. Energy that can be used for living, growing, connecting and enjoying life. Perhaps acceptance isn’t about becoming someone different. Perhaps it’s about becoming more comfortable being who you already are.

I’m curious… what’s one thing about yourself that you could be a little kinder about today?

Sam Luxford Therapy Solutions

Former NHS Specialist Mental Health Nurse | Multi Award Winning Therapist | Advanced Clinical & Medical Hypnotherapist | Rewind Trauma Phobia Therapist

Aberdeen West End | In Person & Online Anywhere & Everywhere

WhatsApp 07867 936505

I CAN. I WILL. I AM!

03/06/2026

Difficult Conversations: Staying Grounded

Can I ask you something?

Have you ever gone into a conversation knowing exactly what you wanted to say, only to realise afterwards that what the other person really needed was for you to listen?

I think most of us have.

One of the things I’ve noticed over the years is that difficult conversations rarely become difficult because people disagree. Human beings have always disagreed and always will.

What tends to create the difficulty is what happens underneath the disagreement.

The assumptions.

The defensiveness.

The fear of being judged.

The feeling that we’re not being heard.

When emotions start rising, our natural instinct is often to protect ourselves. We explain, justify, interrupt or try to make our point more strongly.

Yet the conversations that tend to go best are often the ones where somebody chooses to stay curious a little longer.

Where somebody slows things down.

Where somebody asks a question instead of making an assumption.

That’s emotional regulation in action.

Not controlling other people.

Not controlling the conversation.

Simply managing ourselves well enough to remain grounded whilst the conversation unfolds.

Sometimes that’s all that’s needed.

One breath.

One pause.

One moment of perspective.

What helps you stay calm when a conversation starts becoming difficult?

Sam Luxford Therapy Solutions
Former NHS Specialist Mental Health Nurse
Advanced Clinical & Medical Hypnotherapist
Multi Award Winning Therapist
Rewind Trauma Phobia Therapist
Solution Focused Therapist

WhatsApp 07867 936505
samluxfordtherapy.com

I CAN. I WILL. I AM!